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| AUTUMN COLORS ARE BEAUTIFUL
(Autumn holds a special place in my heart)
Spring represents new life. It's exciting to see leaves sprouting on trees and little green nubs peeping out of soil. Sunlight hours increase and rain feeds the earth.
Summer sustains that life. Vibrant green colors screams energy and life...vitality! It feeds other organisms, gives shade to them, and even shelters them. Plants give and take during this season without completely dying out...generally, anyway.
Then comes the season of true colors, Autumn. It seems to me that people generally all look the same in their spring and summer seasons of life. Which is great and an awesome time to be fed and blessed by God. To basket in His sunshine...overflowing with nutrition, which then leads to encouraging and feeding others. However, this season soon comes when that sunshine will be limited. How will each plant (person) hold up to the times of trial? It is during our "fall" season that our spirit sees less of God. Our true colors of character starts to show. God starts challenging us to trust in Him, doesn't he? How long will we hold on to the summer leaves? How long will we refuse to let go of the past? I used to be so scared to let go of my own leaves, because I didn't want to be lifeless...bare and empty. Fortunately, being a child of God eventually forced me to let go of my last leaf. I saw that last leaf float to the ground, thinking that I was defeated. "I want it to be spring again! I want it to be summer again when I was useful and full of life!"
The weather got colder and I got more down as the sunlight became less and less. Finally, I looked up at God and cried out, "How long will I be this ugly?" My branches were bare and rooted toes started to curl from the cold. It was at this moment that the transition ended.
Winter came with snow. Pure and beautifully crystallized snow floated from the sky onto the ground and my branches. It covered me with making me more beautiful that I ever imagined I could be. I sparkled like I could never shine before when I was in the presence of our God (daytime). Even during the cold nights I sparkled with purity! My eyes were opened to see how children and adults delighted in God's grace and mercy as they played in in the white sweetness. I started to see how God was still using me to shelter animals. I even got a chance to be decorated for Jesus. "Wow!" I thought, "This is great! My sins are covered~!" Then I heard an evil voice whisper, "What of your past? You may have let go, and God sheeted with you with snow, but what you did in the past seasons will stick with you forever!" I started to panic. The whisperer had a point. I'm still bare...I'm still ugly underneath this snow. The snow's melting now and I will have nothing to show forth in spring.
That's when I heard a comforting spirit say to me "Do not fear for I took your past and imbedded it into the soil around you. Do not be discouraged for I am using it to nourish you and make you stronger; to give you better life. I will strengthen you and help you. Your new leaves will sprout because of your past. Don't you see? I will uphold you with the one who brought you snow! That same snow will melt to give you your first taste of water. I preserved you through the cold so that you can be revived, blessed, and excited again. You just needed to trust me and let me take care of things. Aren't you glad that you let go of your last leaf?"
Springtime came again and I was able to burst out with new blessings.
(reference used in entry is from Isaiah 41:10)
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| For xanga lovers like me....a new post will be coming soon. *anticipation*
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| My physical therapist told me that it's bad for my knees if they're not at a 90 degree angle when I sit and study. He suggested for me to sit like this.
 Can you say...vertically challenged?
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| So I'm feeling restless today. I'm studying and I keep wanting to get up and run around....which is something that I can't actually do....because my physical therapist says it's wiser for me not to do that. (There's something wrong with my hip and knee). Thus, I am resorting to xanga.
I will be writing about my life's greatest passion, God. It's funny because as I wrote that sentence I immediately envisioned two reactions. One reaction was a person rolling their eyes with disinterest, and then scrolling down to the next entry on their xanga subscription. The second reaction that I can see is a person reading on because they're either curious to get to know God more or get to know me more. It's no surprise to a lot of you guys out there who knew me since junior high that I'm religious...and not just any religion, CHRISTIANITY!!! Christianity definitely got a bad rep through media and high expectations that we put on that label. ANYWAY, I wanted to devote this entry to explain my logic of why I think Jesus makes sense.
SINGLE GOD
I have met quite of few people who are atheists. After talking to them on their thoughts in high school, it made me start thinking too..."IS there a God?" Without knowing the mumble-jumble of Christian apologetics at the time, I came to reaffirm my faith that there was. I started to think of the beginning living organisms on Earth or the universe. Random atoms spontaneously reacting with one another to create life is a really lucky coincidence. Now to think that those atoms created all plants to have similar internal structures and all mammals similar structures...seems extremely far-fetched. Today, it makes more sense than ever that there HAS to be a God. If any of you guys are studying in the health field right now, you know what I'm talking about...organisms are complicated but almost all similar with each other...and everything works so perfectly!
GOD VS. gods
Ok...so the word "God" is defined by dictionary.com as the one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe. "Supreme Being" If God is suppose to be all knowing and all powerful...then why is there a need for other sub-gods? Even the word "god" is a superior deity. I don't know if it makes sense to you...but it doesn't make sense to me that a superior deity would make a organized team with other gods to control the Earth. If they're so powerful and superior just rule everything. If they're so many gods...then who created life on Earth??? I don't know...believing in more than one god seems illogical to me. So....ONE GOD. hahahaha...I know not a very good logical explanation. Sorry.
JESUS
Now, let's say that there is a God. A "supreme being" that is all-knowing and all-powerful. Now, if a God does exist then this God would have to be perfectly flawless. Why? Because He's God! If there was even a spec of a flaw in Him then this God would cease to be an all "supreme being." Are you following me so far? Hopefully you are. God has to be pure!!! The cleanest and the most innocent...the most sterilely clean!!! This is the only reason why more than half the world believes in monotheism and calls their God HOLY. Ok...moving on. Now let's look at any human being. We have all done wrong in our lifetime. Even a 5 year old will lie to their parents to get themselves out of trouble. One lie, one swear is considered sin(an action that is not holy). This makes us not God, obviously. So this separates the sinful (which is us..no matter how decent we think we are) and the perfect (God).
Where's the connection between a perfect being and us? We can't be anywhere near God because He's so holy. It's like salt water and fresh water. You can't mix the two otherwise everything becomes messed up...so what do you do? You keep them in sperate containers or have the fresh water run into the salt. We're the salt water. Us alone cannot be on the same level as such a God. It's like we're muscles and God are the bones to a body. The only way we can have anything to do with each other is if we have tendons to attach the muscle to the bone. That's like Jesus. Jesus is our connection...that's why I believe we can pray and be heard by God.
A SYNOPSIS OF JESUS
In America if someone breaks the law, we get ticketed or be sent to jail. We either pay our time or pay for it with $. Jesus basically payed for our ticket, our bail, and did time in community service for every law that we broke. In the same way, that's how we become guilt-free before God. Jesus didn't do anything wrong, he's just that awesome to us though. Why did God allow his son, Jesus, to do this for us? Because God desired and missed his children...he wanted to have a functional Body that moved like bones and muscle do...he wanted to full-out love us and have us love him back....but the only way he could do that is if he gets rid of our guilt (sin) first.
There's a lot of details missing here...and there are couple of holes in my explanation. I know that there is. I just whipped this up together because i wanted you guys to know a little bit more about who I am...But this is the gist of my logic. I could keep talking and talking about this story and about our God, but I'll leave it here for now. Leave a comment if you want me to explain more about anything more. =) Thanks for reading! I'm gonna go back to studying. | | |
| Creative Writing.... I gave it a shot??It's morning already. I must have slept. My eyes are closed, but the sun's light is illuminating my eyelids. The minute I'm aware I'm awake, I feel my heart sink. It's not peaceful or refreshing to wake up today. My heart is twisting with hurt. It seems like it's drenched with pain and I'm struggling to keep my head above the water. I feel first, and then my brain starts to catch up with the emotions. I can see my day rewinding from the day before and then the days before that. That's right. It was a secret that got exposed. In the span of several days I was robbed of a boyfriend, friend, one's soul, and my family's trust. There was no one to turn to and no friend who understood. There was no happy ending to my day yesterday, just dark tears.
The heavy black sheet from my heart is spreading and I can feel it thirsting to take over every nerve in my body. I don't want to lose like this. I open my eyes to see my empty bedroom filled with sunshine. The sky was clear blue and every tree outside was filled with vibrant green leaves. How ironic. I get up and run over to the window to close the blinds. Darkness and shadows are more suiting. Just like how the skies can fill up with heavy dark clouds, I feel my heart barely floating in my chest. There needs to be a downpour soon, doesn't there God?
I walk around upstairs and see that no one is home.
I drag myself downstairs and find it harder to breath. My living room is hiding from the sunlight and it seems to be inviting me in. I stood in the middle of the room staring at the charcoal clouds that only I could see. I hardly notice the voice that tugs at me to pray. Almost without thinking I acquiesce. I get on my knees and fold my hands. "God..." The minute I utter that name, a floodgate opens. Without shame I start to weep and sob. I want to say words but all I can muster is His Name. My heart and my mind were in sync and both were shouting out to God, "IT HURTS!!! I FEEL ALONE! WHY???? WHY??? IT HURTS SO MUCH!!!" Then more undignified sobs came.
Then as if someone was lowering the heat on a stove, I was calming down. Without any words in my mind or lips I sat there telling God how great the wound was, how it was hurting, and how I didn't know what to do. All without thinking or speaking a word I told him. I just sat there with my heart laid open and that was enough for Him to understand. A few moments later, I feel a gentle breeze pass through me as though I was outside. An overwhelming sense of peace engulfs me. It feels warm and comforting and I don't want to leave. I feel you your arms wrapped around me. Thank you, God Lord Jesus. I know that there's no one home, but Your presence is so thick that I know I'm not alone. Thank you for the new hope and new strength.
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