I think I've just realized something: "Home" is where my loves collide; it's where I can laugh openly like a child, have good meaningful conversations with friends, and be silent with people and never feel as though that silent void must be filled up and plastered over. It's where I love freely, and feel loved back. It's not so much a matter of location, but a matter of loves and company. It's exciting to consider that in that context one might stumble upon "home" at any given moment, at any given place...

I generally don’t care for rain, especially when it entails me walking in it, getting wet, and remaining wet for the rest of the day as I freeze in the library. It’s different if you can remain in a cozy room, wrapped up in a warm blanket, curled up in a comfy chair with a good book, a movie, or a good conversation. At such times, the more rain and the colder it is outside, the better.

Today was one of those rainy days: the sky began to leak buckets of water as I made my way to the library, stopping on the way at the bookstore to grab a drink. As I exited the bookstore, I joined the man standing outside the doors under the awning, watching the slanting rain shower down. Turning to this man, I addressed him with a semi-jesting semi-serious smile, and said, “Aren’t the clouds depressing?” The quickness and simplicity of his answer, and yet the truth behind it caught me by surprise: “It depends what side of the clouds you’re on,” he said.

I offered the man “a lift” (i.e. the shelter of my umbrella) to the shop across the way, and proceeded to the library from there. But the truth of his words definitely brightened up my walk as I repeated them in my mind, treading along the wet street trying to avoid the puddles.

God’s perspective of the clouds and rain is utterly different from what our own may be at times. He uses rain both as a means of punishment (often withholding it from His wayward people), as well as a means of blessing His people.

“The LORD will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand…” (Deut. 28:11)

"So rejoice, O sons of Zion, and be glad in the Lord your God; For He has given you the early rain for your vindication. And He has poured down for you the rain, the early and the latter rain as before.” (Joel 2:23)

Thank you, Lord,

for removing me from my own hands...

And placing me in Your own.

Fragile: I am handled with care.

I am dependant.

Two things at once, thou know’st I cannot think.

When busy with the work thou givest me,

I cannot consciously think then of thee.

Then why, when next thou lookest o’er the brink

Of my horizon, should my spirit shrink,

Reproached and fearful, nor to greet thee run?

Can I be two when I am only one?

 ...

Therefore I make provision, ere I begin

To do the thing thou givest me to do,

Praying: Lord, wake me oftener, lest I sin.

Amidst my work, open thine eyes on me,

That I may wake and laugh, and know and see

Then with healed heart afresh catch up the clue,

And singing drop into my work anew.

~ From Diary of an Old Soul / George MacDonald (February 13&15).

"Blessed is the man whom You chasten, O Lord, and whom You teach out of Your Law; that You may grant him relief from the days of adversity... If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence. If I should say, "My foot has slipped," Your lovingkindness, O Lord, will hold me up. When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul... But the Lord has been my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge." (Psalm 94:12-13a, 17-19, 22)

It's that time again in the semester, when, like frantic ants, all students scurry about busily to the dreaded drumming of the ticking clock, bowing under the overwhelming load of papers and tests, and nevertheless attempting to balance life and maintain an inch of sanity. Anxiety then creeps along. Leaning in closely, it whispers empty lies of fear and disbelief, for a moment blinding the mind’s eye with the inconsequential temporal realities of this world threatening at any minute to collapse and shatter upon one’s head.

The greater reality, though, is that God is sovereign; He faithfully provides, sustains, and encourages the soul. It’s to Him, and because who He is, that we can give thanks even at the darkest hour, silencing the void voices of anxiety and instead resting in God’s promises and the knowledge of who He is. May God continue to strengthen and consol our souls, and may we increasingly delight in Him daily! Happy Thanksgiving!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6)