Going_To_Be_Perfect_In_08's Xanga

Im so addicted to you!

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:05:23 GMT

So this weeke has been a bit rocky but not to bad. I was like 149 today, so not to great but its because my mom made me eat lunch yesterday and I couldnt purge it all out. Tomorrow im hoping to be around 147ish. But anyways sry this is short. I dont have time to update much right now. But I hope you girls are doing well. Oh I mastered the chew and spit today haha. Its hard not to swallow but I didnt.

If you're wondering where I am... Check the lost and Found

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 06:48:49 GMT

Sooo My birthday wasnt so bad. I spent it with my two amazing friends :) I absolutly love them to death, I feel like I need to change my ways, cause I seem to let my disorder get the best of me and instead of following through with my plans I stay home cause im to fat. Thats not really fair for them. Anyways... Today is the day I start changing. I will lose 10 pounds FAST.... Im sick of this. Watch me shrink. I think I weigh over 150 which is sooo depressing. But I will wear a sexy halloween costume! So the boy I am crushing on is ... Well I dunno.. I dont think its gonna work out. We will see tho, Its probably to early to judge that. I feel like if I were skinnier and prettier then he would be all over me. I know Ive gotta pretty face but my body is soo gross so it makes me ugly! I know I cant slack off anymore. Im 20 years old now and its time for change. Im gonna start my new age off right and get a new body :)

You got it, you got it bad

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 01:17:41 GMT

Sooo its the night before my birthday. My friend is throwing me a party and I cant even go cause of no gas money to get my big ass truck out there. This pissses me beeeyoonnndd off. I honestly dont feel like going out anyways since I ate, Why do I do this to myself??? And to top off my birthday weekend... Today I ate! Im such a failure. Tomorrow is like a new year for me, my big 2-0 so I will change my ways. I will!! I must!!! And to make things even better *cough Cough* my dad cant even be home for my birthday, I havent seen him in nearly 4 weeks it seems. I only got to see him once out of the last 4 weeks. It completly blows. Annnnddd I dunno if my crush likes me, boys are so confusing. I think relationships would work out alot better without all this facebook and myspace stuff. You just cant hide much these days. Anyways.. Im through complaining.

Todays intake::: Toooo Much

Tomorrows intake will hopefully be negative! haha

i have that shirt.. but its still got the tag on it cause im to fat to wear it

these girls are pretty, I love their bathing suits to

I love clothes that hang off like that.. So cute

She is gooorrrggeous!

I want my boy to be able to do that. Id be afriad for him to pick me up at the moment

I wish this was a riverbank... instead of a graveyard

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:19:05 GMT

Hey loves... Today I gotta bury my uncle. I dont even want to go to the funeral.. I wasnt to close to him but Its like when you walk into the funeral home its like your whole past slaps you in the face. Every person you ever lost runs through your head. It makes me just miserable. But I guess thats the way most feel about it. When I look into a casket, I see everyone. Especially my friend that was murdered and another that was killed on a crotch rocket. Its just so hard to move on from losing people like those two... And then the songs hurt even worse. On a plus side my crush spent the night with me.. he is adorable and such a sweet heart. I plan on losing 10 pounds fast. I miss the high that losing weight and exercising and restricting gave me. I want that back.

intake- Slim fast shake= 200calories

Im Baaaaacccckkkkkk :)

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 06:25:01 GMT

Hey girls... Gosh im soooo sorry! I have jsut been super busy and not to motivated to do anything. Im back tho. This month is going to be great! I didnt do as good as I wanted to in september but this time its going to be different. I have a new crush, new goals, soon new life :)

I want to wear a sexy halloween costume this year... So im gonna work hard!

Thinspooo .... Its not much but its better then nothing

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:22:46 GMT

I know I havent updated in forever But I was in my Little sisters(15 yrs old) room looking for my bra and I came across a notebook in her drawer and It had a list of what she had ate. I teared up big tim e because its all my fault, maybe my family really does jsut ready through me but know im too gone for help. I do NOT want my sister to be like me. This will ruin her life like it has mine. I wouldnt wish this on anyone especially my lil sister. What do I do??? What if it leads to a ED? what if she ends up like me?!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:18:41 GMT

Day 1--- Fast Successful :)

Day 2--- Fast Successful :)

Ill weigh tomorrow morning and let yall know my progress...

Im feeling great..

Headed to the gym

Stay strong girls

Monday, September 01, 2008

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:53:04 GMT

So starting today Me and a friend Jassy ( I met on my ana profile on facebook) have a plan for the month. We are going to fast 3 days then restrict for 2 and repeat. We are going to try to keep it clean. So lots of water and fruits and veggies! And we will be exercising to. So we want to be skinnier for our birthday which is in the first week of october :) Wish me Luck! Stay Strong girls

Friday, August 29, 2008

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:05:13 GMT

CW- ? havent weighed

Intake:

Apple- 90

Outtake:

TBA

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 18:13:58 GMT

CW- 149

GW by(sept 1)- 147

Hey girls! Sooo I started ColLeGe :) I am having a great time. Its not a university but at least its education and Im making lots of new friends. I honestly dont know how they say "freshman 15" I could never gain that much weight in college. I think im going to be the " freshman -15" haha. There are to many cute boys to be gaining weight. Its pretty motivating. But anyways.. im sorry ive been neglecting yall. Im getting on a better schedule so hopefully I can do better with the updating.