Gokril's Xanga

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 02:54:00 GMT

Well, goodbye all! Gokril is no more. From now on, I'm AmericanPaladin. It's time for a new beginning in Christ once again!!!!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 01:17:03 GMT

All that I can say right now is that the Lord is definitely blessing my life. The recital went very well, and I was my random self once again during the entire time. Emmaline Ellis gave the invocation, and as soon as I heard her voice, I played the Siegfried call. She told me afterward that she stood up there with the most confused look on her face. I wish I saw it, but good thing I didn't at the time; I would have died LAUGHING!!!!!!! Speaking of dying laughing, that's what the crowd was doing when they heard me come in! The funny part about it was that the entire thing was planned, and not even Dr. Gregory knew!!!!!!!!!!! LOL, what a surprise!!!!!!!! Then, I got back into "the mode" and played the Mozart. A few minor errors. I'm having trouble controlling "the ring" in the sound. However, everytime that I lost it in my lips, I heard it and got it back, so I'm happy. I received many great remarks about the Morceau de Concert!!!!!!! Of course, of all the pieces, that one is the most showy. Then, there was the Serenade. Of all the pieces that I played that day, I did that one the best!!!!!!! Lord, thank you very much for shining Your light on me during the entire recital. I pray that this will be only the beginning of the release of my potential, Lord. May I never forget that the reason why I'm a French horn player is all because of You, Lord, and You alone. May it all be done in Your timing as You proceed to unlock Your master plan. It's in Your Holy Name that we pray, AMEN!!!!!!

P.S. Thank you all for your prayers and support; you know who you are!!!!!!!!

"Remember: crawl, walk, run."

Oh, and PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!! Check this out!!!!!!

hey clark,
i was just writing to let you know that you amaze me. i really admire your faith, and how it's always the first thing in your life. that's really cool, and says a lot about the type of person you are. just thought i would let you know.
zach

ps i'm getting baptized next sunday, so pray for me. lol... i might make the water boil.

This is PRIVATE FIRST CLASS ZACH CAUSEY from the Army Band.

God, You are AMAZING!!!! May the Angels REJOICE!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 19:53:23 GMT

I feel much better now, thank You, Lord. As I look into the near future, I see a recital on Monday at 3:45 p.m. Lord, may it just SHINE YOU!!!!!! I just want to play my heart out for You because You're the one that has given me the gifts. I don't deserve them, but I'm grateful for them anyway. Here's the line up:

Siegfried's Long Call (Wagner)

Horn Quintet K. 407 (Mozart)

Morceau de Concert (Saint-Saens)

Serenade (Britten)

Lord, whatever happens there, I pray for a calm day. May I go in there with the attitude of, "I'm not worried about it." It's in Your Holy Name that we pray, Amen.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 02:17:28 GMT

(Sigh). Lord, I'm sorry that I let You down. I'm sorry that I made You, cry! Why do I keep on giving into THAT same sin garbage that I keep getting myself into? Lord, I don't want to make myself depressed again, but something's gotta give right now, Lord. I need You. I feel like I wanna just cry...give me some emotions, Lord. I just want to cry, but I've forgotten how to. I can't cry...so many of being mocked at for doing the right things, for being the nice guy.

So many people here, even on campus, just love to take advantage of my niceness. I'm DEAD SICK of it!!!!!!!!!!!! If they want a nice guy that's willing to be taken advantage of, why don't they try the local sewer!!!???

I guess I just feel kinda lonely; that's what's getting me the most. I don't understand. Lord, you know what kind of guy I am. I would never take advantage of anyone or hurt anyone willfully. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO DO IT TO ME!!!!!!!!??????????

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Plus, I really like a woman, and I know that I can't do a thing about it; it's really tearing at my patience. I know the old rule, "it takes two to tango." Lord, I just wish I had assurance. You know that I haven't dated a woman in almost 3 years. You heard my ex-gf with Your own ear, "I'm surprised that you haven't dated anyone for that long." You respect the reason for that: I won't just date anyone. It takes the most elite, special girl for me to get me to go for her. Miraculously enough, I met her.

Why did You put this woman into my life?

Someone who I could call beautiful until I'm blue in the face (but I choose not to because I'd rather have my actions show it than my words, otherwise, she will never believe me).

Someone that I could still call beautiful even during the last years of our lives.

Someone who is not just beautiful on the outside, but gorgeous on the inside as well.

Someone who loves everyone and will always cling on to her heart for the rest of her life.

Someone who cares.

Someone who's goal is to never worry about what others think about herself.

Someone who's heart perfectly matches my own.

Someone who's not afraid to show the crazy side.

Someone that has set a new standard on my high standards of women.

Someone who is deep.

Someone who is dependable.

Someone who is diligent.

Someone who is really fun to be around.

Someone that I know that I can count on.

Someone that I know that I can trust.

Someone who would be more than happy to encourage and heal the weak.

Someone who is independent.

Someone who always challenges herself and is never satisfied with mediocrity.

I think I'm blue in the face now, but anyway, why, Lord? Why do You say, "Greg, you cannot go for her just yet; she must defeat Satan first." What do You mean, when You say that, Lord? Can I do anything to help? Allow me to pray for her....

Lord, I sense confusion in her life right now, Lord. I pray that she will continue to challenge herself to reach new levels with You, Father. Comfort her, Lord. Let her know that there is someone out there who cares about her and would be more than happy to be a heck of a buddy to her whenever she needs it. May it not be about me or her either, but about You. You are the reason why we live. I don't know why you created us besides the fact that You desire companions, but I sure do appreciate all that You've done in our lives. Where would we be without You, Lord? We are Your creations, Lord. Use us however You'd like. It's in Your Holy and Precious Name that we pray, Amen!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 02:26:48 GMT

Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness, opened my eyes, let me see;

beauty that made this heart adore you, hope of a life spent with You.

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You're my God!

You're all together lovely, all together worthy, all together wonderful to me.

King of all days, oh so highly exulted, glorious in Heaven above.

humbly You came to the earth You created, all for love's sake became poor.

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You're my God!

You're all together lovely, all together worthy, all together wonderful to me.

I'll never know how much it cost, to see my sin, upon that cross.

I'll never know, how much it cost, to see my sin, upon that cross!!!!!!

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You're my God!

You're all together lovely, all together worthy, all together wonderful to me!

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that You're my God!

You're all together lovely, all together worthy, all together wonderful to me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 23:06:47 GMT

Call me crazy, but I actually told myself that I could go another couple of weeks without a Spring Break. This may be true, but boy am I glad that I'm on one! Now, I can get ahead on some work. Then, I learned that my folks are moving to North Carolina over the Summer. Doesn't that just beat all? Well, time for me to start the packing process. I would say the best part about this Spring Break is that I have a perfect opportunity to visit some friends up in Indiana. I can't wait for that!!!! We're going to have a great deal of Christian Fun together!!!!! We may watch some movies, play poker, pitch, or some sort of card game. Chess, some sort of board game. I don't care. We'll find something fun to do. Pool. Heck, so much to do.... I'll see you all on Thursday!!!!

Lord, thank You very much for these opportunities. You asked me to get out more, and so here we go! I pray that You will be with us when we take a visit to Anderson, IN coming up this weekend. May all that we do show good examples of what Christian activies and fun are. May we also encourage each other over the weekend with some devotional time so that we keep concentrated on You, Lord. It's in Your Holy Name that we pray, Amen!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 02:39:49 GMT

Shoot. So much to do in so little time. Why am I even taking the time to write one of these? Oh yeah, I need a break.... This week/weekend looks pretty hefty. First of all, I still have to complete the out-of-class portion of the mid-term for James Class. Second, practice hours, I need all that I can get. Thrid, Battle Assembly, Physical Fitness Test (yep, gotta run those two miles again). Then, I'm looking to start playing Horn for a church again. Hopefully, they will see a good need for me again. It starts Thursday! Then, at the same time, I must observe their choir and write 2-3 pages about it. Oh, and that's not all!!!! Most of my family is planning to move to North Carolina, a lot sooner than I thought!!!!! Their goal is to be down there during the Summer!!!!! That throws a wrench in my engine. I'm not worried about the finances; however, now, I have to get all of my stuff out of the Smokehouse (Mom's, Step-Dad's, Sister's, and Half-Bro's house). Shoot. I'm just thankful that I have something to look forward to after all that is done. A nice hang-out session with some new friends!!!! Yep, I hope that they all can make it. I really miss seeing them because of all the fun that we had together. Steph, Heather, and Lily, I'm comin' ta get u!!!!!! (In a positive way)

You know what the Lord says when stress hits though, "Suck it up (or should I say, endure hardship)." Father, I want to come to You right now, Lord. Hardships may come in life and hurt us, Lord. May we (I'm praying for everyone) be reminded that all are for Your glory and Your good. May we be encouraged to know that what ever happens, "You will never leave us, nor will You ever forsake us!" Oh, thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Lord. Father, forgive me for doubting. Forgive me for not seeking Your face like I should have, Father. Thank You for Your forgiveness and Your grace. May our relationship continue to magnify, Lord. It's in Your Holy Name that we pray, Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 01:46:10 GMT

Father, I'll admit, this day's been slightly rough. I didn't like that 30% that I got on that test a few days back just because the teacher did not understand my terminology for describing those essays. DARN ESSAY TESTS!!!!!! GENERAL QUESTIONS THAT EXPECT SPECIFIC ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!! What the DEVIL!!!!!??????? Oh well, time to move on....

On the lighter side of things, I'm blessed. The Lord is just taking care of me to the max this semester. I'm really enjoying all of the new friends that I'm meeting (including the ones that I met in Indiana some time ago). I'm just praying that I can get to know them all better. What would this life be without relationships? Heck, I wouldn't even be able to be saved without them, for I'd never be able to relate to Jesus!!!

Father, thank You for Your many blessings in my life, Lord. I see what You want me to do. You want me to use my gift of encouragement for others. I'm more than willing to do so, but as I do, help me to make darn well sure that it's for Your glory and not mine! Father, I lift up Jennie to You. May You touch her heart and heal her of her depressive state. May her hardships in life convince her to join Your Kingdom, Lord. I lift up Lily, Lord. She's had a tough week in an attempt to comfort her friends. Put on her heart the words that You would need her to say to benefit Your Kingdom. Encourage her to believe in herself, Lord. You know as well as I do that she has great potential in Your Kingdom. The same goes with Heather, Lord. As the trials and tribulations come, I pray, Lord, that she will be comforted by encouragement. You know that in her heart, she is seeking You, Lord. I pray that she can be encouraged to keep going. You've said in Your word, "Ask, and it shall be given to you...seek, and you shall find." Cleanse her heart, Lord. Make it more like Yours. It's in Your Holy and Precious Name that we pray, Amen!!!!!

May the Lord Bless You and Keep You

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 01:45:41 GMT

You're AWESOME, GOD!!!!!!!!! May our relationship continue to prosper!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 03:14:14 GMT

Thank You, LORD!!!!!

Staff Sergeant Clark in da HOUSE!!!!!! New pics coming soon....