*errrhmmmm*...Pardon me while i clear my throat and blow the dust of my xanga...Wassup people's i kno it's been a minute and I'm practically "in the shadows" but i'ma get straight to my point cuz it's da whole purpose of me writing so here goes...

"Beef"...I mean really this shyt is blown way outta proportion. Guys...or should i say ladies... this is turning into a situation like last year...everyone is unecessarily involving themselves into the problem. Honestly i believe it's between 3 people...(need i mention who) and everyone else who had a comment is wrong. Now don't get me wrong i'm not sitting here tryna justify myself because any way i or anyone else looks at it...it's wrong and i can admit that, but the way every 1 is actin they make it seem like it destroyed a best friendship which was not at all the case...that was done before anything was spread about this situation. What else kills me is  this...i was cursed out and told that the situation "wasn't that serious" then why the antics? Why every 1 involving themselves?

Coming to a realization...I'm glad this happened and not because of the pain it's causing or the drama... but because you realize how many fakes are around you...Really now...Crystal saying "fuck you" is correct in any shape way or form. I'm not madd for that cuz i undastand where she coming from but for people to talk shyt to me online who have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with it and for others to stop talking to me....i'm feeling ya 2. It goes to show that these people are ur "peoples" because of others you know and not for who you actually are. Thanx! Nothing BIG had to personally happen between me and those people so killing birds with one stone applies quite nicely...anyways gettting to my point...the 23rd should be a tyme for people to catch up on things and not a tyme to fight...it's all bullshyt. People should just avoid one another and be ADULTS about it. I'm done with it...i was forgotten by someone and that was it so why press each other and do all this dumb shytt. Funny how im tryna be the voice of reason when i'm pretty much the problem but shytt i admit what im wrong for and i moved on...dats wat erry 1 else needs to do...dis is thefirst and last tyme i will openly address this so im done period. I will be in da skool on the 23rd to say hi to Morgan cuz i promised her that. Whoever doesn't speak to me i'll get the hint but i refuse to make a scene over it. So in closing i have no love lost for certain people that are upset at me cuz i can undastand...but any 1 else can sit on a dirty dildo and fukka friendship wit ya.

Be safe luv all ya 1

*Note to reader(lol): Song: Im Sorry by Tyrese...No it's not inspired by anything, i've just come to a realization that it's like 98% ladies that check my xanga so i threw on that sweet stuff for ya cuz ya soak it up lol enjoy! I love this song!

What it is yo? Wassup?

Wat's good errybody?....So yeah ya baby boy Bowser is still in very cheery moods. No rain from my cloud 10 yet lol.

Overwhelming Joy Returns...Wow who woulda thought things could get any better? I get my news about being on my own in like 2 months...then all my buddies are coming home to me at once! Jessie came home, Verandah is back from her buddha retreat lol, Willis come home in like 2 weeks along with Cynthia. Ava should be home sooon and Vanessa is back on the 12th. I'm so happy!! I've made friends with my "enemy" lmao, My mom has been great since my birthday as in sober and I hear suttin diff bout my job erryday....but da day dat i start is always pushed up so I'm hype!!

Whipping Back Into Shape...Shytt man I gotta be up in like 7 hours for BASKETBALL PRACTICE lol. I ran into this kid from International and they need someone to run point guard so I told him and his coach i would be der. Damn i haven't played ball in like a month and ima be sweatin and panting lol...I'm outta shape and it don't help that I get my puffs in of Mary Jane every now and then lol. Tell ya how that goes 2morrow i guess.

Putting Emotions Aside...I wanna apologize to you guys for being an emotional wreck...I've been bitching about not being loved and being alone and blah blah blah...Sounded like i belonged in front of a TV with chocolate Ice Cream watchin Maury or some shytt liek a woman with her period (0o00o0o0o shytt Joseph no u didnt go there lol)...But yeah i hate to be like that because ppl that kno me kno that i'm EXTREMELY stubborn when it comes to my emotions or complaining i usually throw on a FACADE (lol take it back to AP). But i don't feel too bad anymore...I guess i'm counting my blessings and looking at the good right now...I have loving, supporting friends in place of the family I've lost, and a very loving immediate family. I'm just more worried about paying MY rent to MY apartment (ahhhhh feels good lol), doing Compra(lol) which is food shoppin to u non hispanics, and getting my computer so i can keep in touch with you meatheads lol dat werd is funny to me...and pecker lol....anyways back to da topic...I'm planning to go half on pretty much errything with my brother to make errything easier and ima discuss having a 3rd person move in which might be Willis or Mike but yeah i gotta run that by Will.

Words of Wisdom: A fool is not a person who tries to succeed at something that seems hopeless and receives criticism, a fool is the person who doesn't take that risk because they are afraid of the criticism itself and not the challenge. *Hint Hint* How it applies here lol But apply it to urself as needed LatazZ PplzZ Luv 1

By the Way...Am i the only one freaked out that Jessie looks like Jessica in her pic? I was like WTF for a good 10 mins. LoL sorry for the randomness but den again i wouldnt be me lol

Good Morning Brooklyn,

So it's anotha late nite/early morning for me. I've had a massive amount of trouble regulating my sleeping patterns. I can't sleep at night and i pass out for pretty much the whole day. Doesn't really matter though cuz the days go by quicker that way.

How I'm feeling lately...I feel extremely trapped yet isolated. I feel so alone at the moment and i dunno what it's from. I feel like an extremely incomplete person. Something is missing inside of me...i feel extremely hollow...i dunno maybe i need to GO OUT instead of chilling indoors all the time. I feel like a house hermit...stay home or go to sunset...hmmmm what choices. Sucks when you don't have money in your pocket. When you have money, there's always something to do. I walk around with this chip on my shoulder and everytime i look for an answer to it I just come up with more questions. Uggghhh I'm so frustrated at the moment...ah well I've been through worse I can handle it.

Big Plans...Oh man I can't wait till Willis gets back!! We already planned the remainder of the summer for when he gets back. I'm really looking forward to that. If all goes as planned then my summer is gonna have a dramatically fast paced fun conclusion!

In Closing...I hope shytt starts to look up man. I guess i just have too much free time on my hands. On top of all that, all my close friends are gone so it's not like fun is just a phone call away, I have to create master plans to have a night of entertainment. Uggghh i just hope this job comes through sooner than it's actually supposed to...that would be nice.

Words of wisdom: Money don't buy love, but it certainly gets you a lot of it *wink wink* LoL

you let tha fear put your ass in a place
complicated to escape
It's a fools fate
without your word
your a shell of a man...

so much jelousy it scares me
so be prepared
cause only tha strong survive
life isn't fair ...

Niggas is paranoid
trust
a no no
love is a mystery

Fuck tha po po,
Holla at me..... -Tupac Shakur

Wassup everyone...been a lil bit since my life story lol but I guess this is the rebound...

The nerve of some people...ok so today was da official fallout of me and Ana...for those of you that don't know who that is she is my brother's girlfriend...anyway...this woman has nerve! First off this woman is living in my house rent free and she bitches because she VOLUNTARILY cleans the house and nobody says THANK YOU!! Get the fuck outta here! That shytt is so petty. I mean if people are providing you with a roof over your head, the least you can do is clean shit man. Well anyway she's in my personal life WAY TOO MUCH! This girl has MY FRIENDS phone numbers...it's like WTF!! You're 22 tryna be best friends with 17,18, and 19 year olds. Sheesh man. Well anyway the main problem was that SHE doesn't like what I DO in MY ROOM so she bitches to my brother. Then she uses that shit to be in a bitchy mood all day. Using my name and my business to have an argument with Will. SHit had me heated. Then when everything is all good with her and my brother that's when she decides to speak to me FUCK OUTTA HERE! 1 word answers was what she got. I lost all respect for her today...i been biting my tongue about her for a while outta respect for Will but i think ima wind up BLOWING up on her reallllll soon

My Momma...Proud to announce that my mom is tryna quit smoking cigarettes...she went into the hospital in this program to help her...I'm happy for her.

Relief...I got to talk to TiTi Betsy today!!! By the way THANK*YoU* for leaving Verandah the message and the number I appreciate it. Well anyway she seems to be ok. Things are pretty hard for her. I was gonna go to see her today but i think she took the kids out. Definitely make it my business to see her this week.

Tricia...I haven't spoken to Tricia in maddd long man that girl is M.I.A. She got herself a lil love bundle and forgot all about a niggaro dizzamn.

I'm all bummed out...Both of my hunney bunneys are in Florida now  *Tear Tear* Fridays aint da same without ya!

Random Question...I know God sees all and things that are "good" to us are actually deemed "bad" but...If God was one of the homies, would he be high fiving me for the things I do sometimes? LMaO

Feelings...I think I'm going into my "Middle/High School Shell" lol. I think it's gonna be anotha 4 year single skid for me lol i dunno. The opening up phase and being lovey dovey is thru...like Cyn tells me "Do You Joe"...Yeah i hear you girl thats exactly what it is now...so yeah da old me is BACK!  LoL I smell TROUBLE.

Words of Wisdom: Just because you pour syrup on shit it don't make it pancakes.