Xploding Turkeh'!: (So it's a penguin and not a turkey, sue me xD) So here I was, minding my own business, when suddenly my recooked Turkey leftovers decide to start smoking! So, naturally, I jab it with a fork to see what's going on right? Bad idea. I hear this huge popping sound and then IT EXPLODES on my poor unsuspecting plate! ... Sadness... I still ate it after it was done exploding though, probably shouldn't have now that I think about it.... Anyway! Yeah, Thanksgiving was sooo awesome (besides the exploding Turkey part)! I truly felt Thankful and honored to be celebrating Thanksgiving! :) It may have been a really long time since I've updated, but as you can see my cooking skills have not changed one bit! lol!
Suurrgguurrryyyy: As for my health (which was often a subject in my previous blogs) I've most certainly gotten over that poison Ivy that I talked about my last blog! But knowing me, of course there's something else bizarre going on in this body of mine! I recently found a very painful lump in my foot, it took many weeks to convince my mom to take me the doctor but when I finally got there.... gosh they did some weird stuff to me! I'll leave out the horrible details for those of you who are easily grosses out! lol. First they started to cut my footsie, I just tried to think about peaceful waterfalls to distract me from the pain. But then I had to use the restroom, so I thought of something else to distract me :P Then they left for a moment and came back out with this metal thing, I didn't know what it was till he started using it to freeze my foot! It felt like I stepped into an icicle barefoot. When I looked at my foot it was white. I thought it was the frost, then I realized it was my skin... YIKES! O___O
Sooo now I can't walk on that foot and it's all beat up looking. I'm going back to the doctor this Friday. Can't wait *sarcasm*. To put it simply, by the end of all of this I'm going to have a large hole in my foot after all my surgeries and it'll probably be after Christmas before I can properly walk again (I'm kinda just limping around atm).. yikeeess! It does scare me a lot, but I know that no matter what goes on it was meant to happen. God knows everything about my life and he won't give me something that I can't handle, so it's going to be okay!
But you wanna know what DOES bother me? Every time I tell somebody I'm going to the doctor, they interrupt me and ask if I'm going for depression problems... eeeh, nope. Do you think I should? O_O Speak up now! lol. So yeah, lots of people know I'm going to the doctor, but they never take enough time to shut-up and listen to what's going on in my life! And people wonder why I don't talk much!?! Maybe if they were quiet and actually listened to what I say without interruption I would say something! :P *sigh* sorry about that! Mini rant *better now* ^_^
New School: Oooh! Well things are going okay for me still as far as school goes! I'm currently taking a college course, online classes and homeschooled. I had actually spent most of my Senior first-semester in Public School, which was quite an adventure! I loved the opportunities there and everything, but there were some very rough and pervy people there, and me being the new girl I never got a break from it. There were a lot of things that didn't fit my needs there, so I popped back into my previous school systems. Still working hard though! I'll try to get some pictures off my camera and let you guys know all my crazy school stories next time I update!! I gotta tell you about my teacher who sat cross-legged on the lunch table! He was very unique! lol!
Well I gotta run! My room needs cleaning, essays need to be finished and after all of that I'm pretty sure a video game needs to be played! lol. I shall return! ^_^ ,·*¯*·.¸ (¯`¤.,¸_¸,.×´¯`» .`×.,¸_¸,.¤´¯) Melody ♥ (_¸.¤´¯`×.¸..`×.¸ `¤.¸_)
How come every time I come back to Xanga I think:"Oh gosh! I haven't updated in a bizzillion years!" ... *thinks deeply about this while a microwave explodes in the distance* I guess it's just because I haven't clicked the update button.... Lazy much? Okay, let me bring you up to speed with what's been happening in my life since I updated last, then I'll tell you about my horrendous adventure this week! *gasp!* Let's see, in March I had Pneumonia (hated it), went to a Sadie Hawkins dance (loved it), and turned 17 years young (w00t!!!!!). In April I donated my hair again, this time 10 inches (last time it was 24 inches) of my hair to a child cancer patient. If anyone is interested in knowing what I look like now, here are some pictures: Before & After:
Okay, so that's all the main stuff that I haven't written about yet... I would love to delve into more detail but I'm pretty worn out after getting back from the Hospital. Yep, once again my health gets me into a pretty dern big mess. But somehow, out of the whole thing I feel so much more peaceful now. Lessons are everywhere, you just have to be open to learning them. Even if it's the hard way.
Let me explain... It all started with this gorgeous prom dress... So I was thinking, greeny-blue dress, very purty, must take pictures of it - oh how about we take those pictures in the woods!!! Sounds good? Oh dear, NO! Who in their right mind would go into the woods with a low-neck prom dress?! Obviously not someone with sense in their mind *points a "I'm with stupid" sign at herself*. heh heh (slaps in a picture of me in the dress for a not-so-dramatic effect)
As soon as I finished taking the pictures I started getting weird marks on my neck. The next day it turned a strange color. And the next it got even worse, but you know what? I didn't think anything about it. lol. The next morning I was rudely awakened to my reflection of an unrecognizable face with a swollen and mangled neck and chest. Ok, now even for as blond as I usually act, that got my attention.
Apparently, I am very allergic to poison ivy. A week went by of this stuff covering my body. But it wasn't just painful, it was embarrassing too. And for an already self-conscious girl this was a big deal. I couldn't leave the house or I'd get weird stares. People and friends either diverted their eyes from me or looked grossed out. I was the same person as I've always been, but I felt so small with the whole world looking at me. Even within my own home I got weird stares; my youngest brother kept calling me a freak. I have to admit that it really got to me. I got angry and I started yelling at him to shut up. It didn't phase him a bit, but as soon as those words slipped from my lips I regretted it greatly. You can't fight fire with fire, same goes for harsh words. Soon after I was whisked off to the Hospital. I got a shot and medication, but I went into shock after only being there for an hour...
Hard week? I'd say so! It seems silly for me to make such a big deal over poison ivy! I had no clue I was so painfully allergic to it. Even though this whole week I just wanted to give up and cry, I never did. Now I'm the kind of girl who cries over anything... Like there's this one cartoon character on TV any time he frowns I just want to cry. lol. Oh, ahem, anyway *serious voice again* On the road from the Hospital a song came on by Adie Camp, it was about doing things God's way. I realized; God had been keeping me close the whole time when I felt so messed up. Then another thought really came smacking into me; Do I have the right to complain about this?
Yes I'm hurting, but think of all the things that have happened to me in the past. I have moved so many times I didn't even try building friendships for years, I used to be under the controlling emotions of cutting and anorexia, I have nearly died from health complications, I lost my youngest brother, lost my only sister... And then I thought, even all of these things can't even compare to what Jesus went through for me to live this life, and what have I been doing this whole time? Complaining about my life... That has to hurt Jesus, that He did so much for me, and all I did was hate every day of this week.
And the only thing I can say right now is... Oh God, I am so sorry that I ever complained about this week! I am so blessed. Forgive me that at times I forget how graced I am to live this life that you have given me!!!
PS: To anyone who actually read all of that, here's a cookie for you! *Mmm!* Thanks for letting me spill out my heart into this journal entry. And please know that I am recovering nicely now! I've been singing and dancing all day. ;D I have a feeling another crazy cooking session with flying Melody-style is in dire need! Check back next time when I will (hopefully) be back to normal and to see what crazy things I get myself into this time! hehe! Till then!!! *waves goodnight, and has a staring contest with the happy cookie*
I'm sitting here at the computer, journal in my lap, thoughts filling my mind. My brothers are laughing over random things as they always do. Roast and potatoes are cooking in the oven and it fills the air with a wonderful warm scent. The windows are open, life feels so free right now...
Why the sudden change? Yesterday was such a mess, I was running away from my own feelings and struggles. Constantly fighting with emotions and frustrations of my life.
I'm in shock and awe that even one day after such a tangled emotional mess, I'm calm and happy today. It took me a moment to realize why. Again and again I seem to learn and forget this very important thing about my relationship with God; I can't deal with life on my own. I need God. I try to figure out how to fix things by myself, frustrations are always running through my mind, I seem to have hit a wall in the road of my life and I can't get past it. I become weak and realize that there is nothing more that I can do myself. That's when I remember something that I should have done way before falling so hard; I need to give my struggles to God. He wants to help us, He desires for us to rest in Him. And even though life isn't perfect, with God holding me, today is peaceful. :)
God Bless! ,·*¯*·.¸ (¯`¤.,¸_¸,.×´¯`» .`×.,¸_¸,.¤´¯) Melody ♥ (_¸.¤´¯`×.¸..`×.¸ `¤.¸_)
Edit: Hey guys, I can't decide which banner I want to use on my Xanga... A little help? I still kind of like the Peanut Butter cookie girl, but I like the colors from the "freedom" banner, and I just made a new one (credit: Dody49 for the flowery bg) and it's pretty and all but I don't know if I want to use it.... Which one would you guys like to see up there? ^_^
Update? From me? Yeah right. I must be seeing things.... Okay, so let me be honest in saying that I've not been "feeling" this whole Xanga thing after everyone-and-their-twice-removed-mother's-cousin started reading here (In other words, a lot of people). One week I had over 1000 people visit my page! *faints* I was starting to be approached by people in my Church that I had never meet who read my journals. My entries were just "Man, today my milk exploded!!!" and "God has laid this on my heart..." those kinds of things, but I felt like I was really being opened up and read by more people than what I was comfortable with. It's scary feeling like I'm being examined, judged, spied on by some. But you know... I really miss talking to other girls and guys who were facing the same struggles as me. You can't ever help anyone if you never stick your neck out for them... So here I go, dive on in with me!
Ah, the past two months... They haven't been as emotionally crazy as last year (and for that I am thankful!) but life is constantly pushing and pulling me around no matter how firm I stand. God has really been dealing with things in my heart. Realizing just how small and how human my thoughts must be compared to God, I feel so... covered with dirt. This morning the table had crumbs all over it, I brushed them off, ate my breakfast and left. Aren't you glad that God doesn't just come down, brush us filthy people off and leave us? He doesn't do that, He comes to us, pursues us, washes off the filth and tries to teach us to walk a better way. Why do I keep going the wrong way when I know I should turn around? Some things are just so hard to turn away from: Sin. I've had a lot of conversations with God the past week, I want His help but I'm always so hesitant to ask. I want to fix it myself and pretend it never happened. But I know I should go to God again and again! I think it's amazing that we can talk to God about things like these, He listens. Man, most of my own friends wouldn't even take the time to read all of this, and God listens and feels through every word! That pretty much rocks my socks out of the galaxy!!!
Save the children and throw out the Peanut Butter- it's taken it's revenge!!! I don't know about anyone else, but when I hear the words "Peanut Butter" I must find out why it's being talked about ('Cause, you know, I might be able to eat some...) So I was really surprised when it was being talked about on the news. Yep yep, there was some sort of bacteria in the Peanut Butter that we bought, so we threw it out. No wonder why I was getting sick! YIKES!!! My excitement for peanut butter cookies has kinda been scared off, so now I must find a new food to cheer for in the meantime! haha! Yes, YOU must help me find one! Okay our contestants are.... Waffles, Pizzaz, and Thai noddles! YESH! VOTEVOTEVOTE!!!!
Alright, last for my not-so-wondermously-awesome entry, we have... My short film! Duun duun duuuuunnn!!! Not must to say about it, other than it's in English, aaaand it's super spooky and super cheesy! I've made a few videos, though some of them aren't on the Internet yet, and others are on YouTube but I'm kinda shy to advertise their lameness. hehe. SO! Here is my Short film, "The Magic Hole"
Okie dokies, that's all I've got for now! I hope all of you guys will have an amazing weekend! God Bless!!! ,·*¯*·.¸ (¯`¤.,¸_¸,.×´¯`» .`×.,¸_¸,.¤´¯) Melody ♥ (_¸.¤´¯`×.¸..`×.¸ `¤.¸_)
Dun dun duuunnn, it's time to update again! ^_^ Merry -extremely late- Christmas, and Happy -on time- new year! :] I'm still listening to x-mas music, in fact a rock version of "O holy night" is playing right now. hehe! Christmas eve and the big day was sooo wonderful! Ryan gave me an awesome necklace and bracelet, they're so beautiful! I gave him a Pressie too! Woooh! hehe. From family and relatives I got a lovely little camera and some pieces for my PC so it would run better (Soooo thankful for that! Now it won't jam up every time I leave the PC by it's self). Oh, and I also got a rock. lol! It was an awesome rock though!
But even as nice as these things are, I would have been just as happy had I not gotten anything. Earlier this month our credit card number was stolen and we thought we wouldn't have any money to celebrate with. We got our money back a week before Christmas, but it let me realize just how fortunate we are already and that it's really not about the presents. It's Christ's birthday, and I really saw that this year.
And... Random fact here, I have eaten so much this week I can finally say that my hips have no lying skills at all. Because they're definitely not shy in showing the fact that, yes, I ate most of those big holiday meals. But do I feel guilty for it? Not really. It's the Holidays!
Okie, that's all I've got time for. hehe. I hope that you are all having a wonderful week! God Bless you! ,·*¯*·.¸ (¯`¤.,¸_¸,.×´¯`» .`×.,¸_¸,.¤´¯) Melody ♥ (_¸.¤´¯`×.¸..`×.¸ `¤.¸_)
(So it's a penguin and not a turkey, sue me xD)
PS: To anyone who actually read all of that, here's a cookie for you! *Mmm!* Thanks for letting me spill out my heart into this journal entry. And please know that I am recovering nicely now! I've been singing and dancing all day. ;D I have a feeling another crazy cooking session with flying Melody-style is in dire need! Check back next time when I will (hopefully) be back to normal and to see what crazy things I get myself into this time! hehe! Till then!!! *waves goodnight, and has a staring contest with the happy cookie*
I gave him a Pressie too! Woooh! hehe. From family and relatives I got a lovely little camera and some pieces for my PC so it would run better (Soooo thankful for that! Now it won't jam up every time I leave the PC by it's self). Oh, and I also got a rock. lol! It was an awesome rock though! 