GreekPhysique's Xanga

Photo Physique

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 18:41:42 GMT

I took some photos for a Xanga Beauty Contest, but I was eliminated before I made it to the photo round. I decided to post a few of the pictures anyway and tell a story through them.

From the time I was 4 years old, I loved to read. It takes a lot to make me look up from a good book, especially one by an author as talented as Steven Lawhead.

I love playing with the dominant themes of our time just to amuse myself, so that's why my "money" picture only has $1 bills shown:

I decided not to work in a creative field (such as artist or writer), because I'm better at creating ideas than I am at executing them. I tried to do a motion photo of myself surrounded by falling $1 bills, but it didn't quite work out:

Ok, and the other reason is I have no sense of fashion and style whatsoever. Good old black and white hides a multitude of mismatched color flaws...

Something many of you probably don't know is that I love the game of volleyball. It's hard to get across my true appreciation of the game in writing, but I play it as often as I can:

My favorite physical feature about myself is pretty amusing: it's how long my arms are. I am fairly average in every physical respect (I'm around 6 feet tall, but that isn't that tall for a guy). But my long arms mean that I can enjoy games of basketball and hold my own:

I wonder about my intensity sometimes, now that I've become a much calmer person than I was growing up. Should you ever lose that "fire" and get along with people more? Or should you stay aggressive, and feel free to be as pointed and sharp-tongued as ever in your posts? I kind of miss being ornery, but letting my aggression out via sports is much healthier:

And so now I find myself ready to move and start a new job. I've been working on my fake smile and suit-wearing for weeks!

I have no idea what's coming next when I walk through that door, but I know Someone who does (note the door decoration). God's gotten me through many a complicated situation before that's much worse than being too lazy to put on matching suit pants. (My brother, err, professional photographer and I don't have much of an eye for details, ha, and thought we could just crop away the paints).

And yet, I'm kind of saddened because I know that life is often a series of leaving good things behind to let better things happen. One of those things unfortunately is Xanga. I'll be taking a break until at least August 1st, and maybe longer. Feel free to IM or message me.

Beauty is Free

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:15:31 GMT

I have recently noticed much beauty is available to our eyes and ears on a regular basis. For example, food is so readily available to us now. There are so many cooking shows, recipe books, and specialist food stores it's almost overwhelming. And I'm pretty sure nearly every country in the world has its own US restaurant by now. (By the way, try Ethopian cooking if you can! It's great!). And what about nature's beauty? We can travel all over the world now if we so choose. I would bet a good percentage of my US readers have been to the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, or Niagara Falls. And we also can always watch the Discovery channel or read National Geographic.

Finally, what about bodily beauty? With the vast array of beauty aids, modern dentistry, and surgeries available, we may be living among the most beautiful people on earth. And if your neighbors are a little ugly, you can always get your beauty fix from a magazine, a book, TV, or the Internet. White skin or black skin? Clothed or unclothed? It's your choice, right?

However, in the midst of such plenty, our society seems to be suffering from many afflictions that were previously unknown or only bothered a few people. Eating disorders, in which people deliberately starve or overeat, are more common than ever before. Addictions to pornography also seem to be on the rise, and deviant sexuality of all kinds has increased. Self-mutilation is also a problem, as people cut their own flesh in frustration and anger. Finally, more and more of us seem addicted to entertainment, always looking for the next high or the next new thing.

So with so much beauty available to us, why are we misusing it so? I've quietly built a theory over the last few months, and it's based on the 10th commandment given to the Israelites by Moses in the Bible. It's the only commandment dealing with sins of thought (as opposed to sins of action, such as theft). Here is the CEV translation:

Do not want anything that belongs to someone else. Don't want anyone's house, wife or husband, slaves, oxen, donkeys or anything else.

It seems to me that the secret to enjoying all the extra beauty that surrounds us is not trying to possess beauty that doesn't belong to us. Enjoy the moment, and then let it fall through your fingers. Don't try so hard to capture it, to possess it, to own it. If you mess up and feel terrible about yourself, don't torment yourself with visions of how beautiful or perfect everyone else is. Let go, admit your fault, and move on. You cannot pay the price for your sins by shedding your own blood, or that of someone else's. Destroying your own beauty, that belongs to you, in response to what you've already done is trying to do wrong to make up for wrong. Only in mathematics do two negative elements make something positive.

Realize that no matter how many beautiful men or women you ogle on TV or on your computer, there is no substitute for having your own spouse that belongs to you--and you belong to him/her. Why, then, torment yourself by viewing hundreds of bodies that will never belong to you, or watching unrealistic movies that pretend that trust, love, and/or sex are easy and you're a loser if you don't have that? Let me be direct: porn and personal fantasies are not real, they are not true, and they are not realistic. Be brave, and prefer the ups and downs of real-life love to earn someone worth keeping to the dreary sameness of choreographed sex by paid performers or mental slideshow fantasies that use people's images without their permission.

And when it comes to food, sure, the pleasure of eating is wonderful. I just had some pineapple, oatmeal, and feta cheese right now (not all of them together!), and there's a pleasant aftertaste in my mouth. But only the food you need to supply your body belongs to you. To take more than what you need is to try to possess what does not really belong to you, and to take less is shirking what belongs to you for the sake of coveting another's physique. We need to let go of this idea of "perfect bodies"--what is perfection, anyway? For too long we've been lied to that if we don't have a perfect body, it's our fault, and we just need to try harder to improve. You may be able to improve if you're overeating and devouring sugared snacks all day long, but if you're eating healthily and exercising, what else can you do? Just let it go, smile, and possess what beauty you do have, that does belong to you.

Yes, it's almost un-American to tell people not to be ambitious. But I'm not saying "Don't try to make your life better." I'm saying "Don't hold onto these symbols of beauty so tightly, or they may destroy you. Enjoy your own beauty and what you've earned, and pay no attention to what others may have. That is how to be happy."

Why Consent is Overrated

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:31:36 GMT

I've had this post jotted down for months, so might as well get it out. In trying to navigate the moral quandaries of our day--torture of enemy combatants, abortion, euthanasia, stem-cell research, gay marriage, racial inequalities, etc., many of us wish that there was one guiding principle that we could apply to solve our dilemmas. For many 20-somethings, that moral principle has become "consent". I loosely define it as follows:

As long as the people involved in a certain activity agree to be involved, they have every right to do so without governmental or religious interference. Some may also add the corollary that as long as no one is physically harmed, consent is enough.

Thus, as long as I'm not hurting anyone, and they want to participate, I can do WHATEVER I want, WHENEVER I want. It's ultimate democracy, allowing me to govern the Republic of Me as I see fit. And if my friends are making poor choices, well, as long as they are happy and aren't being forced to make those choices, best of luck to them. Taken one step farther, consent can also be seen as holding Libertarian political beliefs. Sounds great in theory, right?

But I disagree with the respect given to consent as a moral principle. There are too many loopholes in the idea. For example:

Consent places the rights of the individual above the rights of the group.

If consent is the guiding principle, than the individual's wishes are placed above that of the majority, even if the majority has voted in one direction. We see this in our court system, as special cases involving individuals overturn laws that serve the majority. Instead of a tyranny of the majority, we now have a Balkanized model in which we all are split into different groups based on our principles. Rather than try to forge consensus, we separate ourselves into groups that hate one another. Consent itself can be a tool of rebellion, as "one nation" becomes North and South, big-city vs. small-town, black vs. white vs. Latino vs. Asian as each block refuses to consent unless their every requirement is satisfied.

Worse, consent can be used as a cover for hate groups. For example, what would happen if, say, the KKK would conspire to take over a small town in Kansas? Slowly the town would become filled with KKK members. But what about those who would not consent? When consent becomes the law of the land, those who do not consent must be removed so that all who are left will consent. The non-consenters would be bullied in a thousand ways until they left. And once all the town was KKK, would they have the right to do and believe whatever they wanted? To educate their kids in hate? According to the principles of consent, yes, they would, because no one would be left to disagree. Think it would never happen? That's exactly what happened in the South after the Civil War, as reform-minded folk were bullied and hung until there were not enough people left to speak up for the former slaves.

Consent places short-term reward in front of long-term stability.

Suppose that I gain pleasure by throwing myself off the roof of my house and enjoying a few moments of flight before slamming onto the ground below. A rational government or neighbor would realize by my broken bones that I am crazy, and try to stop me from continuing this self-destruction. Yet consent would say that my rights to choose are more important than whether I am truly sane or whether I am causing pain and suffering to my neighbors who must watch me destroy myself. However, after I realize that I'm destroying myself, it may be too late, as I may die of my injuries, or become a burden on the state/my family because of my high medical bills.

Or, consider situations where the entity who has the most to lose is voiceless. What about wetlands which are being cut down and exploited by a tribe or business, but have no voice with which to defend themselves? Or a person in a coma where the plug is about to be pulled, or a fetus? Can we really say that everyone involved has consented, when the entity that has the most to lose was never heard from? Just because one group advocates for its "rights" does not mean that that group deserves those rights. The cost to society from that one group getting more power may be too costly.

Consent implictly assumes rationality on the part of the decision-makers and as such does not allow people to change afterward.

Suppose that I decide to marry someone who I consider to be loving, kind, and honorable. Everyone else warns me that she is not to be trusted, but I insist on marrying her. After our marriage, she turns out to be an emotionally and psychologically abusive mistress. Because I was radically in love for 8 months and was momentarily bereft of reason, does that give her the right to torture me around for the rest of my life? Are other right to tell me "You married her, so put up with it?" Most of you would tell me yes...but what if the tables were turned, and it was a woman suffering from domestic violence? You see how quickly consent can lose its appeal?

Sure, people should live up to their word, and keep agreements they signed. But what if those agreements were signed when the person was not emotionally or physically healthy? Or the person was manipulated into agreement? I'm not saying seduction is as bad as rape...but seduction isn't a victimless crime, either. Consent should not be a moral principle when it's clear the person is being irrational. So, for example, if the guy/girl is tipsy and still getting over a bad break-up, is it ok to sleep with him/her, just because s/he was too mentally confused to say "no"? The law of the land may say it's not a crime per se, but it sure doesn't seem fair to me. But then, how do we define rationality? That's another question for another day.

Consent rewards manipulation and emotional trickery.

Have you ever noticed that the people advocating for less government and more individual freedom are often the best orators? Their ability to verbally manipulate crowds and their belief in consent are not a coincidence. Consent means that the power now belongs to the most charismatic person who is able to convince large numbers of people. It doesn't mean that the best ideas succeed. Consent means that the ideas who have the most convincing proponent or the most highly connected lobbyists will succeed. Beware of cunning people who seem to be making the process more fair, but are in actuality changing the rules of the game to fit their strengths. Sure, it's not physical intimidation anymore...but verbal and emotional intimidation and trickery are in some ways WORSE than physical intimidation. At least with physical intimidation, one knows what is happening!

The manipulative consent issue is something I myself have struggled with for years. I did speech team in college, and also have written blogs for years. So it's very tempting to bend the facts for the sake of getting my point across or to get other people to agree with me. I can get away with it most of the time. But consent itself is not enough for me; I want to believe that I earn the respect and agreement I get. Thus, instead of just using consent as a benchmark, I ask myself if a "rational stranger" would consider my actions fair. Is it fair to pretend to be more interesting than I really am on a date? Is it fair to overstate my career accomplishments during an introduction just to make sure the person does not underestimate me? Is it fair to talk people into going to my favorite restaurant just because I can? I'm not saying the answer to all 3 questions is no, but I am saying it's a good idea to ask yourselves those questions.

Conclusion: The next time someone tries to tell you that their position is right just because "no one's getting hurt" or "everyone wants to be there", bring up some of these points. Don't let them get away with weak substitutes for true morality and justice. Consent is a good start, but by itself, it truly is overrated.

Round 2 of Xanga Beauty Contest

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:41:18 GMT

Argh, looks like showing my scruffy face on video isn't enough for those insatiable sirens over at http://www.xanga.com/antisoccermom They have provided the following questionnaire for me to fill out, with 15 questions. Sheesh, I got sleepy writing this, and it's about me! Congrats to you if you can make it past 7 questions--give yourself some credits or something for it, ok?

Define your love life in one word. Hypothetical
In relationships, what are the things that reach "dealbreaker" status? Meaning, what traits make your significant other unacceptable? Dishonesty and infidelity are the dealbreakers. Also, a sharp, nagging tongue will earn the woman a rapid exit from my life. If I wanted nagging reminders of how I could improve, I'd hang around my parents more often.
What makes you a good catch? I'm six feet tall, I tan well, and I played multiple sports my whole life. I have a strong moral code because I believe in a God who rewards the righteous and punishes the wicked, so I won't be cheating or manipulating my girl. And as you can tell on Xanga, I'm a smart guy who likes to have fascinating conversations with people. Oh, and I also am able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...wait, nope, that's Superman.
If you had to choose one, would you date someone of higher or lower intelligence than yourself? And why? This is a trap question to weed out male chauvanists, isn't it?! Higher Intelligence! I'm still upset the girl I met who had a perfect ACT had a boyfriend. I'm smart enough to know I want to marry someone smarter than me. (And yes, intelligence is not just ACT scores, before someone asks.)
Describe your perfect mate. She has to be a person of integrity first. I don't want to love someone I can't trust or who I would never want to have kids with. I would really hope she could share my religion (Christian) and my culture (Greek), because relationships are tough enough without having such differences up front. The other details are answered by question 14.
Do you believe in complete honesty in a relationship, including giving up the number of partners you have been with? Why or why not? Honesty for the sake of honesty is ridiculous, so I don't intend on giving my date a huge list of every wrong thing I've done before we met. That just creates tension. Now, AFTER we met is a different story. There is no room for shame in a loving relationship. If I'm ashamed of something I did while in the relationship to the point I don't trust our love, don't trust that she can forgive me--then that's also wrong. I need to tell her.
What are your career aspirations? If you could have any job regardless of money/location/schooling what would it be? Sorry, but I don't talk about my job on here. What I will tell you is that I have an advanced degree and I am overpaid for what I actually do.
Where does your screen name come from, and if you could change it at all, what would you change it to? An older guy gave it to me at a basketball court where I used to play. I sometimes went by "the Greek" back in the day. I was tall and a little awkward, and he thought it was funny to call out
"The Greek Physique!" each time I did something good on the court. I like the name, because he was joking around but also complimenting me at the same time. Some people have thought it has an arrogant meaning; no, actually it humbles me, reminding me of how far I've come and how far I still have to go.
Scenario: You have committed some kind of abhorrent relationship sin. You never intend on doing it again. Is it better to withhold the information and save the relationship, or to be honest with your significant other and hope you stay together? Why do you feel your answer is best? I'm not very good at lying, so I might as well confess it and get it over with!
What is it that you think women really want? I'm guessing you mean what they want from men? Let's be honest here. Many, many women don't really know what they want. Oh, they have dreams and goals and visions, but they change and grow a lot over time. Thus, men who think they can just skim some laddie mag's advice column that says "All women want X, Y, and Z!" and use that as some sort of romantic weapon are sadly mistaken. However, one thing women do mostly have in common is that they want their man to be around, paying attention to them, and appreciating them as creative, beautiful people. Patience is also a must.
What are your shaving/grooming practices and what is your ideal grooming practices for your partner? What is this "grooming" you speak of? I use only the finest Wal-Mart combs on my hair, thank you very much. And I expect my woman to take a shower at LEAST weekly. I'm very demanding that way.
Are the lights on or off and why? And what position are we females in during this situation? What about strobe lighting?! These questions are so close-ended! ha. But seriously, please see what I said above about shame. To me, someone wanting the lights off feels too much like there's shame about the romantic situation or about their body. And if that's how he/she feels, we need to stop and talk things out until there is no shame there. Physical affection with shame is wrong. Love must be given freely and cheerfully, and received in that same spirit.
What is your idea of the perfect date? This question irritates me a little. Sure, I could spend lots of time talking about location, scents, music, gifts, ambiance, and other little touches. But a date is only as good as the willingness of the two people involved to work on making it a good date.
What physical/emotional traits attract you to a woman? Body traits and emotional traits, we insist on knowing both. I like passionate, hard-working women who know when to cheer for me and when to boo and tell me to cut my nonsense out! Creativity and intelligence are musts--I expect evidence, like a post that got featured, ha. I like it when I can look a woman in the eye (i.e. tall is good) and I like women who can understand my love of sports. I already said I like dark hair, and I prefer no make-up over lots of make-up. Random, quirky things I like about women: imperfect noses, small smiles, freckles, sharp chins, and long fingers.
Why should you win Xanga Hottie of the year? See my video post below this one. I've been making ordinary Xangans feel like Hotties for years. I don't think I "deserve" Xanga Hottie or any other such nonsense. But leave me in for at least one more round so I can amuse myself and make fun of the competition, ok? Maybe this turtle can actually win the race.

Xanga Beauty Contest

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:53:43 GMT

I have decided to enter a male beauty contest. Quite frankly, I did so just to sabotage it for my entertainment. That said, I apparently need to post an announcement about it to get myself entered. I considered pushing my cause via text, but since I have this web-cam now, I decided to use a different medium. Now ladies, I understand some of you may be tempted to lust, and I apologize in advance for the temptation. The weaker among you should just turn away lest this overwhelming hotness scar your retinas. But if you feel up to it, watch the video. Then go to http://www.xanga.com/antisoccermom and mock the guys who entered, including myself.

EDIT Ok, ok, I actually misread the rules the first time. I have to also say why I should be considered. I would bet not too many of the voters or judges know me well. I came on Xanga pretty much by myself, and decided to build my network one friend at a time. I've been here for 4 years, but most haven't seen this site until the last 3 months or so. That's because I didn't hang out at the big sites begging for comments and attention. I went looking for other people who few were paying attention to, and befriended them. I have tried not to be too proud to befriend anyone, and as a result I've been rewarded with readers who continually surprise me by their eloquence and inspire me with their passion. One thing I am proud of is how this site manages to stay true to who I am (Christian, nerd, Greek, male, etc.) while still being friendly to people whose interests are very different than mine. And that is why I think I should be considered a Xangan hottie.

Ok, am I in now for Round 1? Can I begin making fun of the other contestants?

Dead Xangan Beauty Contest

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 22:21:17 GMT

We had a good time on XangaTV tonight, and the beauty contests on Xanga recently was one of the topics. Although I am concerned at the potential for stalking, I get that it's supposed to be a fun contest where the ugly get to ogle some beauty. (Although stay tuned for a post from me about coveting, heh.). I didn't want to suggest any Xangans for the contest that are on Xanga today. I was worried they might get stalked somehow, or someone would start speaking to them in an inappropriate way. But as for ex-Xangans? That's what they get for quitting :-p

So with that said, here's 7 "Dead Xangans" who should have been a part of the Xangan beauty contests if they still were here. It's too bad you didn't meet them when they were posting on here regularly. And as you'd expect from me, they're all SFW, and people who were great writers and gracious in addition to being beautiful.

1. http://www.xanga.com/model4christ Shannon Stewart from America's Next Top Model, Cycle 1. Enough said.

2. http://www.xanga.com/hilary1344

3. http://www.xanga.com/visitjules

4. http://www.xanga.com/anastacia777

5. http://www.xanga.com/pael_in_droum

6. http://www.xanga.com/yellowsparkler13

7. http://www.xanga.com/childofzion_1984 . I tossed a guy on here lest the women complain at the lack of men.

Xanga TV Tonight and What is a Good Church?

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:34:44 GMT

Hi friends. This evening I will be doing a video session using Xanga TV. It is at 8 PM Eastern Time on Wednesday (today), right here on this page. Please come and visit. I'll be telling various stories and starting discussions. As a bonus I'll tell you my most embarrassing moment on Xanga. It involves 12-year-olds. You'll want to hear it.

Now, with that said, I'm starting a new series on the Christian church. You can read many of my old writings about church here: http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/tags/thechurchandi/ . Most Americans have stepped inside a Christian church at one time or another. Many have been blessed by the experience and found spiritual renewal. However, many Americans have been wounded by the church, or decided to quit Christianity because of their experiences in the church.

My question to you is, what are the characteristics of a good church?

I have planned a series on imperfect churches. Such churches can drive you to discouragement and despair if you do not understand what a good church looks like. But first, let's be positive about this. What would a good church do? What would it believe? What type of relationships would form, and what would the services be like? Tell me about the good churches you've been a part of. Looking forward to your answers in the comment section.

Xanga TV Appearance

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:17:15 GMT

I will be doing a live video-blog on here on Wednesday at 8:00 PM Eastern Time. I invite you to show up and chat with me. If it does not work properly, we will switch to a text-only format. I hope you can make it. To whet your appetite, here is my reaction as I prepare to watch the most amazing video blog ever*, created by me...

Yes, that is what you have to look forward to--gross technological incompetence! Prepare to be amazed as the GreekPhysique fails to master even the most rudimentary details of camera technology! Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! haha but seriously, Wednesday at 8PM Eastern Time, I will be here.

*For the record, it was commentary on the Netherlands-Russia game on Saturday, which Russia won to advance to the Final Four of the Euro 2008 soccer tournament.

Archives, July-December 2005

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 23:20:49 GMT

I have decided that I no longer want to leave up posts that I posted years ago. I don't like the idea of leaving the posts up indefinitely as a representative of myself, and besides no one ever reads my archives anyway. I thus will be featuring my most interesting writings one last time before locking them up in the vault, forever, along with my hair clippings when I was 2 and my first lost tooth (thanks Mom!). To read all of my archives for 2005, just look at my weblog archives (left-hand side of the page, way down).

Again, just letting you know, this is more a project for me than for you, but you are certainly free to read the posts and comment!

July 2005:

Ways to be an Evil Xangan, plus Xanga quizzes. See, I was posting about Xanga before it was cool! Um, err, wait, it was cool once to post on Xanga about Xanga, right? RIGHT?! http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/313169468/item.html

Do you really want to be pretty? Perhaps my best Xanga post ever, which admittedly may not be saying much. http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/299977303/item.html

"Ah insecure overachievers--the best friends one can have!" http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/309071611/item.html

August 2005:

It's a weak link post, but the topic is too important. If you postpone marriage, what are you losing out on? Take a look here: http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/335879424/item.html , the comments are interesting. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll remember I wrote this at 25, not 28, and commit hari kari.

September 2005:

A follow-up post to August, the dark side of men staying unmarried too long: http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/339073752/item.html

20 Random facts about me: http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/358034033/item.html

10 Commandments for the 18 and up crowd on how to manage the single life: http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/346108191/item.html

October 2005:

"She's doing a movie for that Polish director, Oliver Klozoff" --When celebrities disappoint us. http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/367511851/item.html

What fuels creativity, anyway? Drugs? God? And how do we take advantage of it? http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/363351406/item.html

November 2005:

Few of you new folks know this, but I have a love-hate relationship with America, and here's why: http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/389834050/item.html

Emo (literally) Photoshoot with my younger brother. Yes, he's cooler, but he's taken, so you're stuck with me! http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/397228944/item.html

December 2005:

Men, their mission, and John Eldredge: Part 1 of a series on men http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/403996876/item.html

Men, their mission, and John Eldredge: Part 2 of a series on men http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/411621932/item.html

Even more ridiculousness about aging and marriage, talk about beating a dead horse! http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/401400256/item.html

But hey, aging really isn't that bad, is it? http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/398853280/item.html

Confessions of a Plump Physique

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:26:00 GMT

Just a quick post, since I'm so busy this week. So last November, I needed to get my suit dry cleaned because I had worn it a lot recently for job interviews. When I got it back and tried it on a month later, I was sure I had been given the wrong suit by mistake. It didn't fit properly on me at all. But then, the truth suddenly dawned on me...

I WAS FAT!!!

Yes, as a man I really was that out of touch with my body. Somehow, I had finished August weighing about 190 pounds (which is not too bad for someone who is about six feet tall)...and gone to about 225 pounds in just about 5 months!

This led to some interesting conversations with myself. I always had a little baby fat growing up, but I never was truly fat. I weighed about 165 pounds as a senior in high school, and played 3 sports. So it was quite a disappointment to find out that I finally was overweight according to most measuring systems. Here's a few things I've learned about being over weight. You may have already known these, but they were new to me.

First, being fat doesn't necessarily mean you can't play sports anymore. I didn't think I was fat, because I was still able to run the floor in basketball and run a mile or more in my work-outs. Sure, there was some drop-off in performance, but for whatever reason I also got better at shooting 3-pointers in basketball when I gained weight. (More ballast? Who knows?). So just going by my athletic performance was of little help in deciding true physical fitness. Fat people aren't necessarily slow!

Second, being fat is even more dangerous to your health than you think, given certain body types. I am the type of guy to gain weight mostly in the stomach, and that is apparently linked to increased heart attack risk. So even if I can still play all the sports I want, I might die before my time. That's a serious incentive to lose weight!

Third, it helps me if I match food items to their cost in exercise. When I realize that to "earn" that pop, I need to exercise for 20 minutes on the treadmill to offset the calories, it makes reaching for the water a lot easier. In addition, I try to cut corners where I don't care. I've learned to like skim milk, and that's one easy sacrifice that I can make.

Fourth, it's been important to me to keep a healthy perspective on my weight loss goal. I know 185 pounds is a reasonable goal for me. However, 175 pounds is probably not a weight I can achieve any more. My job is rather sedentary, and my time limited. On the other hand, I can't be so obsessed with weight gain that I start believing that the only thing keeping me from a better social life or attracting women or getting a better job is an extra 20 pounds around the waist. Why not?

Because once I'll lose the weight, I'll feel empty when I realize that it hasn't fulfilled all my needs, and then I'll resort to unhealthy behavior to make up for the pain in my soul. It's important not to confuse physical needs (whether they be for food, weight loss, or touch) with spiritual needs (such as love, a feeling of belonging, peace in the soul, and the need for meaning in one's life). Mix up the two, and one gets into all sorts of unhealthy behavior, because I believe that often physical needs are merely symptoms of our spiritual needs. (Chew on that one for a while, if you would).

Fifth, it's the process that counts, not the outcome. Some weeks (note, I weigh myself weekly, NOT daily) I lose more than I expected, others less. But the number is not important! What is important is the process I am following: am I exercising regularly? Making sure to not overdo fatty foods? Eating regularly in fellowship with others, rather than devouring snacks in solitude? If I am doing that, then weight loss will take care of itself.

Ok, I have to go, that will do for now. I had hoped to post on a more interesting topic than myself, but I felt that since weight loss is such a big issue for so many Xangans, maybe my insights could be helpful. Next time, I promise you won't hear about me--even I get bored with talking about myself, although it takes a while :-p

EDIT: One of my favorite Xangans sweetly pointed out that Jilly had a post up on this as well. Because the topics we chose are so closely related, I feel honor-bound to link to her as well: http://weblog.xanga.com/Southernlass/662055119/the-facts-of-fat-from-a-fat-chick.html .