GreyGooseKDPhi's Xanga

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 10:49:05 GMT

Good morning everyone!

It's so nice and chilly outside. Makes we want a cup of hot cocoa and to sit outside on the patio with a group of lovely friends!

Sorry I have not written in so long! Almost 6 months!

On my mind today are the KDPhi's, especially the IOTA class at the IOTA chapter. This cold dreary days reminds me of the time we pledged. The good ole days! And of course the rest of the old fogies at the IOTA chapter. Ok, that's enough sorority stuff for me in one day!

And to all the nice folks I used to chill with, today reminds me of one of those days. Gosh how I reminisce those awesome fun times! Good times good times!

Things are so different now, but don't you think I have forgotten, it's just all so long ago...and when surrounded by so many different things and when embraced by the changes in life (and aging), it seems like an eternity has passed by when really it was just yesterday I was still cruising in the hood. Hehe. Love it! But I love things now too! Wish you all could see although I just don't do much anymore! My bad.

Hope you all are doing well, know that you are all on my mind, even though we never see each other anymore.

Much love,

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 18:41:18 GMT

Who could've asked for a more better family, friends, and BF?

After putting up with my especially grumpy self for quite some time, I was, how should I say - embarassingly surprised at how ugly and selfish my thoughts were.

But you know what? All of you are great liars!

Thank you all and you know which ones I thank the most!

Recap of the surprise day: Bawling annoyance, beautiful day, meet with his parents over something, meet with some friends to discuss how much I dislike a certain someone when they all played along with the plot, show up to Buca in wife beaters looking dreadful and surprised, T said I looked angry even when surprise (and how did I manage to do that? hehe), sticky stuff in my hair (what you are referring to highfade), awesome gifts, awesome presence of people I care about, Bond and watching my co-worker dance with baseball birthday gear on with sandals (hahha Payne bring on the pain!), and of course back to NY to reminisce the meaning of having people around you whom you love and love you.

Thank you all.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 17:07:45 GMT

I slept on a bed of roses last night and received roses with rosemerry stems...sigh...along with framed photographs of the two of us...

(literally)

Recap of yesterday: work, NY, Michaelangelo's, belt, shoes, wash, book, cake, surprise, Crome, Davenport, frames...

and of course, the bed of roses...=)

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 16:31:41 GMT

In life, you meet all sorts of people that have some kind of affect on you. Everyone you encounter has issues of their own-no matter the frowns or smiles they carry. All you can do is try to understand...

But the one thing you learn is this, when issues are at hand, deal with them the way you know how, with moving on as your final goal, no matter how long it takes you to reach that stage. Never forget the issue. Either learn and accept or do something about it if you can. It's the only way you can live the way you want to live.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 23:28:55 GMT

They say that partners in relationships come and go but friends are forever.

For me, I say not ALL friends are forever, but the few that are special, they really do stay forever.

Thank you all. You know who you are.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 23:10:43 GMT

Tell me that my head is in the clouds, but what it's supposed to be like, this thing called love?

How do you know when people tell you that you will just know when it comes? Will you have to have let everything that has set you back years ago all down before you can welcome it all and admit it to yourself?

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On the other hand, I am wondering if I was meant to be what I do every single day. Maybe I should be a playwright like Keaton in "Something's Gotta Give". Seems like a cool job...I can let the lives of others and my own play into the fingertips gliding over this keyboard, and create something so real - it's magical...

Imagine that, your life and mine combined, my friends, on screen, or on stage...think about it, you'll be immortalized...timeless.

Good night my beautiful people.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 00:56:39 GMT

How my 2005 ended.

Flew to Dallas early in the morning. Shopped at the Galleria there, got into a ridiculous argument, and ate at Mi Cocina. Bought a dress, earrings, and shoes. Checked into the Magnolia. Napped. Got ready to go out for the night.

Headed to Biernat's for a starting at $95 a pop a person a meal dinner thanks to a special someone. =) We were dressed up and looking good while pimping in our rental Malibu. Yeayea. Rolled up in the Hollywood joint of B and J's. Partied with the Hollywood folks and the young "Catch me if you can" boy Max. What a smart little looker he is!

Showed up at the Drama Room after the 15 second kiss at the stroke of midnight. Yea baby yea! Hung out there in the nasty little smoky environment until it closed and headed back to C's place. Left C's to go to CVS to pick up some agua and some, what?, candles? My oh my!

Back in Magnolia at 3AM and playing with the bubblies while the fire stayed lit. 4:15AM I am asleep with a smile on my face and the best thing ever on my side. The night...PRICELESS.

To a wonderful new year and to God for an awesome last year!

So there's my update yo! Sorry it took so long but I just had to record that moment down. Peace.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 22:44:26 GMT

Hurricane Katrina. God Bless Everyone. Let's put our fingers aside and patch things up okay?

Someone close to me was affected by this, and let me tell you...this whole thing was no funny business...if only he wasn't forced to go back I could've kept him for another few weeks. =( But someone's gotta give me some cheaper gas prices right?

Loving Everyone...j.c.<3

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 23:50:36 GMT

a lot of weird things happening in my mind, body, and around me...

The past two weeks have been very interesting. Ever feel like you can't get strange thoughts out of your head and you can't sleep at night because you are so gripped and overwhelmed with fear you can't breathe or sleep? Ever feel so tense you feel like your muscles around your neck and shoulders might buckle into a knot and choke you? Ever wonder about the unknown and the unsolved? Ever want to move on with your life and do what you should be doing but you are not able to because of all this that's going on inside and around you? That's me, the last two weeks or so.

If it weren't for a few special girls, I don't think I could be here writing all this right now. I just want to THANK YOU girls for being there when I most needed it, and bringing that special Someone along when I felt like He'd been gone for so long...or really, that I've been running away from Him.

Sometimes when circumstances such as these occur, they make you see things in new light. And you know what? I don't know if it's because I am getting older or if I just have never noticed the different perspectives. The last few weeks have given me more insight probably than I needed.

He tries to test my patience, really He does, but you know what, as hard as it is, I am glad it happened.

I went to yet ANOTHER wedding this weekend. I am all wedding'ed out! Let's see, I left work early Friday to pick up someone at the airport, dropped him off at the church, went to Rice Village for some shopping, then checked int the hotel downtown. Got ready there and met everyone at the restuarant. The rehearsal dinner was touching. And yes, there were old people there but the touching part was the words that came out of the groom's mouth when he teared up at the thought that he will be marrying the woman who has stood with him through thick and thin. And with him, thick, means THICK. It wasn't easy, needless to say, and all the toasts were to his coming out of the gray area he was in for awhile.

Saturday morning, woke up at 7:30, ate at Barnaby's, picked up his tux, drove to the church, waited around for the ceremony to start, ran into of ALL people-my client, who happens to be the groom's uncle (what a small world), and his first words to me were, "Jean! What the heck are you doing here? Who do you know here? Where the hell's my report?" Goodness gracious.

Headed to the hotel for the reception. It was nice, outdoorsy, during the day, and quite the little romantic reception. Only down side was that it was H.O.T. So, for those of you that know how I am when it's H.O.T. imagine how it probably went. Plus it was daytime, and I drank and turned BEET RED. My client comes up to me for drinks and I am about to run upstairs to my room to just hide from everything because I don't feel like socializing at all. Sent the lovelies off and took a nap in the room after the long reception. Met the lovely newlyweds back up after their massage in our rooms because they don't leave until the next day for their honeymoon. Felt sick, and took off on them again. Argued with someone. Walked over the Main St. for food and it started pouring and then went to Jones. All this was FORCED, mind you. I dislike going out in the rain when there is lightning and let me tell you, there was some electricity out there that night and I was ON FOOT. So I didn't get back to the hotel until 2ish and people were giving me guilt trips. By that time, I was like, SCREW THIS, I am tired and headed to bed. Passed out like no other.

Sunday comes, leave the hotel, ate dim sum, went to Highland Village, the Galleria, and then drive back and forth on 59. ARGUE again. The day pretty much SUCKED. My patience wore off. All the hotels were booked up from everyone coming in from N.O. His phone didn't work. He had no car. No clothes. And the car we found at last had a broken tire. I was tired and didn't feel like driving around and listening to so many phone calls. I mean, it's totally not anyone's fault because a storm is a storm, but I was just selfish and wanted to do everything MY WAY, but didn't bother to ask for it to happen. Breathe in, breathe out, was what I was thinking. Didn't help, but oh wells. Stopped by the Spot for the first time in what seems like years and sang the number I normally sing when I do show up. Instead of beer, I had tea, and they were looking at me funny when I requested the beverage. I had my beer earlier at the restuarant while I was fuming.

Dropped him off at the place to get the car. And went home, so here I am...TIRED.

Happy Birthday EI!!! You the sweetest woman!!! Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday or today, but I hope you understand! See you soon...

Good night all and have a happy tomorrow. To me too. =)

Monday, August 15, 2005

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 23:30:28 GMT

I was reading some points on how to be a lady...if it were a test, I think I would've made a 30 out of 100. Blah.
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Last Saturday I went to La Madeline in Kenner, LA. at around 10AM for breakfast. As I stood in line, the 59 year old man (he announced his age to the cashier during their chit chat) whom looked completely lost and broken, made a ruckus around him. He was delirious, talking to anything that walked. He said he lost the man he was with for 28 years. His mate. He had left him and now the man we are speaking of is lost-at 59.

Life for a gay person is not easy. Imagine all the criticism they face from their family, society, and even themselves. They can't help but love their own sex, and many wish they were as straight as the most of us. So the task of finding a lover who has also suffered from his or her environment is hard - as gays are a minority, and are often plagued with sickness in health and in their souls. The reason why? Society.

As he babbled on to an old lady, the cashier, and eventually - me, I felt for him. He was probably drunk, or a little ill in the head, but who's to blame when the love of your life departs, and you happen to be gay? It's probably the worse feeling in the world because you already feel so alone, despite all the spurts of support you get every now and then. He asked me if I was Korean, then asked me if I liked N.O., then asked me some more questions. I didn't mean to be rude, but I ended the conversation with him by saying, "Hey, I 'd love to chat, but I have to put the silverware down."

The whole time during breakfast, I asked my awesome blossom if he was still looking at us or talking to random people. He nodded a yes.

I soon forgot the old gay man as I became mesmerized in an elderly couple as they made their way to their table diagonal from us. They helped each other set the plates and the old man helped his wife into her seat. I recognized the lady as one of the people the old gay man chatted with earlier. I watched them throughout their meal, and noted that they were eating salads, drinking water, and other healthy foods. In the middle of the meal, the old husband took some pills out of his pocket, laid them on the plate and counted with his wife what different types to take. They both took their pills while the old husband, gray in the face, and shaking in the hands, smiled at his wife. His wife smiled back. They were probably discussing what they wanted to do today. They were probably 80 years old, but still capable of moving around on their own. They probably drove Lincoln Towncars or Cadillacs. They were both dressed comfortably but you could tell they were probably once a vibrant successful couple.

The whole thing made me think-although solely based on my wild assumptions. While one gay man, probably without a family, was in swimming in sorrow over his loss of his lover at 59, another straight couple, probably with a family of sons, daughters, grandchildren, and maybe even great-grandchildren dined in love and content at their ripe old age. The contrast was significant.

Sitting right across me was awesome blossom himself, asking why I kept staring over his shoulder and why I kept asking him if the gay man behind was still there. I couldn't tell him what I thought, that I wanted to be like the old couple one day. I mean, would that not scare away a man because he may think I meant it was to be with him? So I just shrugged.

Tonight though, right before I wrote this in my journal, I spoke to him on the phone. He asked what I was doing and I said I was about to write in my journal, and so he asked, "What are you going to write?" And I replied, "My breakfast at La Madeline last Saturday." He continued to ask and I told him my story. He asked me, why didn't I tell him what I was thinking the whole time during our meal? And I told him the truth. It was probably too cheezy to say to someone in public, plus I didn't want him to turn around and stare at them. He chuckled and said, "But you just told me your story, did I run away?" He didn't.

I'm blessed. =)
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(Now I don't watch people all the time, just sometimes when I get in the mood or if something catches my eye. And mainly, it's something with a story behind it, or at least one I can create, but it just comes naturally. Don't worry. I have a life! I don't watch everyone's every move okay! But seriously though, you learn a lot about yourself and much more when you observe strangers that coexist in this great world we live in.)