GreynotGreg's Xanga

Monday, August 06, 2007

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 17:56:45 GMT

I was in for quite a shock when I asked Anna about her night. She was out with her friends and called me when she got back around 12. From my point of view, she never called me back after I called her twice when I went to bed. However, she did call me and said that I was mumbling something about being sleepy, and saying "I love you" and "good night" numerous times, and not answering her questions. Right now, I am really freaked out because I have never in my life sleepwalk or anything like that. I would really like to know how I managed to pick up my phone, talk for a minute, and hang up- all while I'm dead asleep.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 08:50:45 GMT

I'm a really flawed person. It seems like every couple of weeks, I make my poor Anna upset because of my selfishness, when I should be doing a better job listening to her and making her happy that we're going to see each other in roughly 26 days. I need to get better at being a boyfriend amongst other things. The days I've boasted about being better than all those other guys that are assholes to their girlfriends are over. I need to get used to the fact that I'm not perfect.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:38:06 GMT

Hey all. Life's pretty mundane- just going to class and coming home and waiting for the day to be over. I just want to get back to school and spend time with Anna. I want to hold her, comfort her, and make her smile. Just like old times... but better!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 18:39:55 GMT

This past couple of weeks sucked. Anna's been upset so often, and it's 90% because of me. It's ironic that in the past I've ranted about crappy boyfriends with awesome girlfriends, and now I am one. It seems that every week there's something I'm doing wrong. It pains me when she's upset at me. When I know it's my fault, there are times when I just want to bash my head in with a heavy, blunt object. As I stare blankly at my ceiling, I wonder how things would be like if I simply forget about her. When I do so, the pain inside me becomes unbearable, and I cry. It's amazing how a simple little thought can break a man down. Call me an idealistic bastard, but she means so much to me. My memories of her is worth more than that of my own name. Her love for me is worth more to me than my love for my own life and well-being. All I want to do is give her my love, make her happy, and to protect her from the evil in the world because SHE CARES SO DAMN MUCH FOR ME. I love to hear her laugh. I love to see her smile. I love to touch her face. I love that little song she sings for me as I hold her in my arms and fall asleep. I love her so much. I love her too much for my own good, but I love her because she's too good for a pathetic, weeping, lost child like me. I will show to her that I'm the best damn choice she's ever made. I will prove myself as a man, scholar, and man-bi- I mean boyfriend.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 08:14:10 GMT

Argh... so tired.
It was totally worth the time to be together with Anna on the phone. When we talk to each other in bed, it feels as if nothing else exists in the world and it is just the two of us. *sigh* Such a wonderful feeling...
Now I gotta go trod through the rain to get to class.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:00:37 GMT

I've seen true love...
I never thought it would exist for a person such as myself, but I've seen it and it's real...

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 18:58:52 GMT

It's been a while I updated; then again, it's been a while I've felt this shitty. So, here's the thing: my dad comes up with this brilliant idea to have me leave the business school, and go for an econ and math major with a minor in philosophy. This way I have much more time to take the classes I want and I'll no longer be another number in the business school. I'll even get the chance to go study abroad in Austria next summer. Wonderful right? The catch is, I'll have to graduate a year early, and Anna doesn't want me to do this. She hasn't been talking to me much this weekend since she's out of town with her family, and the times she has spoken to me, the conversations was just devoid of any affection whatsoever. As a measure of affection, I've counted the number of times the two of us said "I love you." I've said that phrase at least 5 times this past two days compared to her 0. I know it's kinda ridiculous to base love on that, but still. Those words from her mean a lot to me. I just feel depressed and annoyed this weekend. I had a fit of frustration last night where I couldn't sleep and my imagination went rampant with negative thoughts. I did have a pleasant dream though: we were together back in school like the old days, the end. I woke up and realized that that dream was the best experience I've had with her the past couple of days. So anyways, back to academics: After I graduate early, hopefully my GPA will be pretty decent and I will go to grad school in NYU, Columbia, and who knows, Princeton? The sky's the limit. This is much better than a mediocre degree from the School of Business in 4 years. Personally, I'd feel better if my parents' money went to the first schools I listed. Of course, I'll probably have to spend time away from Anna, which is probably why she doesn't want me to graduate in 3 years. On this, I will have to disagree with her. I feel that my priority in my academics supercedes my duties as a boyfriend. As much as I would like to spend my life with her, we have no obligations to each other, and while we're still together, I would like to provide her with the best possible life I can- even if it costs us a couple of years together. Of course it would be painful, but I feel it's worth the price. 2 years for a lifetime of happiness- not a bad deal. I dunno, I'm currently prepared for the worst- I have my tissues and ice cream handy (oh fuck, coffee ice cream!). I just hope that things work out between us, and that I'm just flipping out because I'm crazy.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Wed, 09 May 2007 11:29:52 GMT

It's been rough coming back home and having everyone yell at me. I know I deserve it because of my inability to restrain myself. I really miss Anna. I'm just so used to having her around whenever I need her, and when we need each other the most, we're distant; even with the Internet. I'll definitely spend more time with my old high school friends and whatnot. Hopefully, I'll be back to my old, old self in no time. Maybe then I'll be good at school again. As for now, I need to find work.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 18:28:20 GMT

Wow, it's been a crazy day running around with Anna's parents and planning for my spring break working for Habitat for Humanity in Georgia. Overall, I feel that I presented myself well in front of her parents, as well as gained their approval.

In the end, it doesn't matter much, so long as we still love each other.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 15:06:32 GMT

Argh, I got some sorta mystery illness from eating bad food. Why does this always happen to me!? ><

On a positive note, I'd like to thank the lovely Anna for helping nurse me back to health. ^^