senior year's already half over, and it's AMAZING. just looking forward to graduation :]

my life summed up : drummajor.band.class council.homecoming.family<3.best winter break ever.debut.snowball.122507. & there's so much more coming.

<33

contemplation.

junior year ended exactly two weeks ago. words CANNOT describe how much i've grown, and how much i've learned this past year. i've gained a full new insight in life, that has made me realize how precious life is, and how much it's worth to those who care to make it worthwhile. i've learned optimism in even the worst situations can make any horrible day into an experience. i've learned so much about myself, and i've got my priorities in order. my faith, family, & true friends have come to be my top 3 loves, above all other things. i couldn't have got through this year without them. my take on school has completely changed. never before have i ever been challenged and defeated, and then finally triumph in school. i practically worked myself to blood and tears to get through this year, and i'm  so HAPPY that i can say i survived my junior year haha. :] i look back on this year, and despite some things that have happened, i truly don't have any regrets. i truly believe that everything happens for a reason, even the bad things in life. it's from them that one learns valuable life lessons. if there's one thing i've learned this year more than anything else, it's about friendship. i've really learned the value of true friendship, and it doesn't matter if they know your favorite color or you middle name. true friendship is defined as someone who will sit there with you, and you won't have to say a word, because they already know what you're thinking and why you're upset or happy. unfortunately, i did a lose a friendship this year, one that i never realized how much i cared about until it was gone. & the thing that sucks most is i'm the reason why it turned out like crap in the end. i've realized that the truth means more than any guilt or bad feelings, because in the end, it always come out anyway. there's so much that i've learned from this friendship, and i wish i'd of known before all of this, because we'd probably still be friends. and i know this person will most likely never see this, but all i can is that i'm truly, truly sorry for all that happened, and i wish that one day, you could it in yourself to accept how i felt, and hopefully we could at least be on good terms somewhere in the future. but besides that, junior year was just life-changing year. i love the way that everything's turned out, and i LOVE my life. :] <33

ugh.

i want someone to absolutely floor me. i miss that feeling, especially with all this drama resurfacing. i demand happiness and adrenaline rush. ughh. but on the bright side, AP tests are over :] so no more school til next year! my brain was seriously dying from all that studying.

i'm scared that things are going to go back to the way it was before this past month. as much as this past month wasn't all that great, it was definitely a relief to not have to deal with all that drama. and now that we're semi-talking now, i'm scared as hell that everything's just going to come back, and i'll just be here again, wondering how things got so out of hand. i wanna be friends, i really do, even after all the drama and crap that went down because i care. there's no doubt that i care. my goodness, why do i care so much?