| | i don't know if i've ever felt so selfish in my entire life....
i don't understand God's timing and i don't understand the way he plans things.... i want to so badly. i want to know what the rest of my life looks like: who i'm with, what i'm doing, where i am. i want to know. i came back to my room last night in a terrible mood. the night was so weird- and i was so broken. i'm so tired of letting satan win over my thoughts. i get so caught up in his distractions of life. i talked to monica about it a lot. she is so wise, and the girl has no idea. my first year of college has been incredible and i wouldn't trade it for the world- it has just kind of revealed things that aren't revealed in high school. like- it seems like everyone is looking for the person they are supposed to end up with. guys- i'm not gonna lie- i've been so caught up in that lately. especially because some of the girls i am around are getting married or getting engaged... and like i panic because i'm not dating anyone..... why can't i trust that God has a plan that far surpasses anything that i could ever imagine? i'm so selfish and so terribly impatient- but i guess that is typical human nature, eh? we want to know now. i was talking to daniel last night and he said "I just wish God would give me the initials".... and as silly as that sounds.... i'm in the same boat. that would make my life a lot less complicated. but alas this will not happen- therefore i will continue to rely on God. it's just so hard sometime not to just plan out your entire life, but that is not the way God intended us to live.... it would be such a small faith to live like that.... grrrr this is hard people...
summer is approaching, and i don't think it could com fast enough.....
blah finals!!!!!! |
| | Posted 5/5/2006 3:50 AM - 10 views - 6 comments
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