This morning just before 6 AM, I woke up with a strange feeling.  My backside was soaked all the way up my back.  It was dark and I wasn't totally coherent.  I tried to use my best analyzing skills.  Did my water break?  (It's about 6 months too early for that) Did I just have a miscarriage?  Did I accidentally wet myself in my sleep?  Then I realized the source of the dampness was entirely behind me, rather than coming from me. 

I looked over at the 2 year old who slept in complete content on the other side of the bed.  The only possibility is that this little creature who crawled into bed last night with me had somehow peed a small pond in the bed.  I immediately thought of our over 6 year old mattress in immaculate condition and worried because it doesn't have the leak protection water proof pad that Emma's own bed has under the sheets.  I removed my sopping wet clothing and with a towel around me went to find Jeff who had to sleep in the guest room because of the pee factory who had taken his spot.  I told him I needed help removing the wet child and her clothing while I removed the sheets and dried out the mattress while applying stain remover. 

A lovely way to wake up for all three of us.

As a general rule, I can tend to suffer from a bad case of nostalgia.  Unlike many people, my nostalgia has less so to do with people and more to do with places and experiences. 

Last year I was excited about working at Northwestern and was enjoying Lake Michigan while I parked my car and walked to the Norris student center.  I loved walking down the slight hill on the Arts Circle and seeing the Chicago skyline.  I don't dislike these things, but I'm having a bit of trouble living in the moment right now. 

For the first time since moving, I have been thinking about dark winter and fall nights in the buildings on Michigan's campus where I worked for so many years.  I've been thinking about the Union and the room where we met for WCI meetings (over the fountain/cube area).  I love the feeling of being up in the trees and seeing the leaves outside the window.  I've been missing the walk from the Union past the fountain and cube to the parking structure (which is strange because it's not like I had a lot of fond memories there, but I guess that is the meeting place for all caravaning).  I've been missing Betsy Barbour Hall, which I never lived in, but I enjoyed a cozy Bible Study in my senior year.  I also ate dinner there a lot my junior year when I had the free RA meal plan.  That hall is so beautiful and I like being in the cozy lounge while the winter winds hit the windows.  It's like a small little safe haven from a cold campus.

I even missed the coffee shops of South University this week.  South U is the less attractive street on campus, but I guess it was the coziness and familiarity of those coffee shops that I loved.  Oh, I want to go to Amer's!  The one on Church Street is the best.  I also miss Cottage Inn!

I just wish I could blink my eyes and suddenly be done with this first trimester.  The nausea has heightened and the vomiting has been coming every couple days (not as frequently as with Emma, but still not pleasant).  The tiredness definitely seems worse this time because of the complexity of my life this time around.  It's sad living life as a sick hermit. 

Additionally, I have some food problems.  I am literally hungry probably every hour of the day.  I didn't have this with Emma.  I had a general loss of appetite with her.  The only foods that really settle well now are pure carbs and milk.  I've been eating a lot of cereal, bagels, bread, potatoes, etc.  It's gross, but it's the only thing that satisfies and stays down.  I had a salad the other night and felt so happy with myself for eating healthy and by the end of the night, I hadn't kept any of it down.  I'm reminded of all the same lessons I learned last time.  For instance, while fruits, juices, and vegetables are healthy, the acid in them is a horrible feeling when it comes back up.  Stick with things that are sweet and mild like carbs.