Was maybe close to 30 years ago when it all started. He was young the world was his to command and his alone. Though from a family that had nothing more than a house full of love, he always found himself wanting more.
Back then drugs was the thing. The dealers were the shit, and to be somebody you had to be one. School was for fools and being on the street corner gave you props, street credit. Seems they never realized that the street credit only acknowledged them in a big way to the other dealers. The people that I would call of sane mind, thought the harsh, selfish, stupid and a waste of space and a destroyer of a beautiful neighborhood. Then you had some that you would think would be the same but the love of money and the fear that these people instilled was a drug to them. To say I know so and so was the thing back then.
Well to begin he started about 15 or 16 and though with pleas from his mom and other family members to stop to stay in school and better his life, it fell on deaf ears cause he had a new family now. One that could supply all that he now thought important, money, cars, a girls, lots of girls. From the days of spending time in math class or art class or even everyone favorite class gym, went to spending the day holding down the corners making sure they didn't fly away. There had to be maybe 4 or 5 or each corner, watchers, sellers, transfers...calling out the shouts of on coming policemen....Maryyyyyyyy, was the name in the beginning for the police. Not hard to spot in the early years big blue and white cars with bright flashing lights. None of them over 18, to see such a waste was so sad. He was just starting out this was his first week. Curfew had gone now and the sighs and warnings of his mother no longer made any difference. From a 10pm curfew to coming in maybe one or two in the morning, to see her up waiting and worrying. Maybe at first it was a little disturbing to him, but when the first pay of the week came in it was over, over $800. To a 15 year old that had never had more than $20 at a time this was heaven. It meant name brand clothes, I think Lee's were the thing back then or Sergio's and Nikes had just come into the world, all more than his family could ever afford. He thought to himself no more days of bargain time clothes or hand me downs. This was it he was going to be ok.
First pay he put 200 dollars in the freezer for his mom, told her it was "cold hard cash", childish joke, as he laughed not a smile came to her face as she passed it back to him and said, she would have nothing to do with it. So what does a 15 year old do with $800? Make a whole lot of new friends is what. Those that didn't know he existed now hung on every word he spoke, no matter how dumb it was. Gave him props for little things that the average man does everyday. His eyes gleamed, he could feel it he was approaching the street credit he longed for, he had the kids now it was time to work on the adults. Sitting outside in the summertime for adults watching people go by and gossiping and criticizing was the thing to do. So how do you get them on your side, beers and cigarettes and little things all around. They sucked it up like a hoover. Now it was not so bad, as long as he was not pedaling to any of their family and he didn't included them in anything that would put them behind bars, to hell with their morals they can except a little of this and a lot of that.
This went on for months before his first arrest. Then all those that was by his side, looking out for his well being as long as he was supplying them with gifts and such, had a change of attitude..."oh I knew it would only be a matter of time" they said. "Oh he was reckless and should have stayed in school" they said. "Serves him right, they need to get them all off the corners", they said. "His poor mom" they sighed with crocodile tears. It was his mom that rushed out of her bed at 2 in the morning to run to the precinct only to be told that there was nothing they could do, he was going to be booked and she could be at the courthouse in the morning to see if there was going to be bail or not. Back home in tears and worry she wait till the sun came up and was out the door and headed to the courthouse only to find the bail set at $2000. In tears she left the courtroom, not knowing what she was going to do, they had nothing to sell, nothing for a bondsman, he was stuck there. On the long subway ride home, all she could do was imagine the kinds of things he would go through in jail. She feared him being beaten, molested or just scare because aside from camp when he was 10 or going to his grandmas he had never been away from home without someone he knew by his side. Only to come home to a phone call maybe an hour later saying his bail had been set and he was on his way home. A sigh of relief then a clash of worry when it was said that his uncle came down and bailed him out, being his only uncle lived a thousand miles away, she knew then it was his new family, and that though she wanted to help and she cared so much, now they would have even a greater hold on him cause they were there for him and she was unable to be, at least money wise.
He came home showered and said not a word, no thank you for coming down, no thank you for trying to talk to the DA, nothing. He was cleaned dressed and out the door back doing what put him away in there the night before. His mom didn't sleep, she barely ate, the stress was killing her and seeing that was killing the other sibling. She didn't like it when her mom was sad, she didn't like to see her cry, though a year younger she tried to talk to him but it didn't matter, she was brushed off told to mind her business, made to cry and walk away feeling shamed and upset. She knew he was gone....and that in just a matter of time he would become what she had seen all the rest become and it scared her at first, then she went into a world of her own...one that he would no longer be apart of, it worked for awhile till maybe a year or so passed and things got worse............
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