HardcoreChic's Xanga

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 03:12:39 GMT

Wow today I layed out in the sun to work on my tan. Well... I am really dark pretty much everywhere, but I happened to burn my face a little. ouchie. I usually wear makeup when I swim that has some sunblock in it and I didn't have any makeup on today. oops. Other than that, today went real well. Work wasn't stressful at all and we actually got out on time and everything!

I am excited to hear that my trip is looking pretty good right now. Things seem to be going well for the moment. I just hope that everything works out for the best. My older brother and his family are moving out June 24 and I am going to be house sitting next week and then my trip. My parents are going to be so excited because the only person they will have left at home while I am gone is my little brother Caleb. Well I think I'm going to go dunk my head under some cold water and then put the fan on and watch a movie before bed. (the Rundown hehe) Love to all and goodnight.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:33:33 GMT

This Sunday we had a guest speaker who spoke on spreading the Word of God. It was amazing because I realized that if we saw the face of every lost person in this world per second, it would take over 37 years and if we slowed it down to one face every few seconds it would take over 170 years. This means that we have a lot of work to do. For every Christian there is about another 5 lost souls.

To think of how people can think that they can make it through this world on their own is a great task within itself because I know there is no way I could do it on my own. Without God I am nothing, but with him I am everything. With this I want to post my recent poem.

Broken In Your Arms

They cut me like a knife
Killing me with their words
They play with the emotions of my heart
Play with the shadows of reality
I try to liberate my mind
Release the anxiety of my stress
Blocking all unhappiness
My tear-stained smile is my plead
My heart laments like a flute
Crying out to be heard
Take my worlds apart
Bring me to my knees
I long for this place of rest
Broken in your arms

I was inspired by this poem when I was thinking about how people stab you in the back and how no human being could possibly ever make you 100% happy. People are going to leave you hurt and upset, but there is someone who is never going to let you down and His arms are where I turn to run when I have no place else to go.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 03:59:36 GMT

"Then I asked have you ever felt abandoned, felt so lost that you were stranded. Just like all the walls were closing in and you were left inside. Have you ever felt like your days were numbered, stuck under a tree in thunder. Seems to be no way out, but there is one when in doubt."

This song is so true. Often when I am at a low, I try to do everything I can and then when I have come to the edge then I finally turn to God. Why is that? I should know to count on him to work things out for the best even before I try to solve the problem myself.

Anyway I'm struggling with some decisions I need to make. I had planned to fly to Wisconsin and drive to Ohio with a friend, but as of right now it doesn't look like Ohio is in the question, but I am going to try my best to find a way. There are some other "life" decisions I will have to make after vacation, but I'm hoping God will reveal His plan for my life. Right now I feel like I'm the puppet hanging by the string waiting for the puppet master to pick me up and put me on the set.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Fri, 20 May 2005 05:11:30 GMT

Today was kind of blah again. Well I worked like usual and then swam in the pool for awhile. Then I worked on the stupid computer for awhile and afterwards I went and sang at church (I joined the worship team!) Anyway tomorrow is girl's night out. I'm quite excited! Gonna stay up all night and then go out for breakfast. It's silly cuz we are all like between the ages of 18-24 but I'm excited. Most of us haven't had a sleepover party in awhile. hehe. Then of course Saturday and Sunday are same ol' same ol'. Can you believe it just a little over a month before I head up north. I'm excited.

"and I wanna believe you when you tell me that it will be okay. Yeah I try to believe you but I don't. I don't know how I feel, tomorrow tomorrow. I don't know what to say, tomorrow tomorrow is a different day."

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Tue, 17 May 2005 01:36:56 GMT

Not too much happened today. I was scheduled off so I offered to watch my neice, but then work called me. Oh well. My sis took me to Olive Garden to make up for it and I got some amazing lotions at Bath & Body works. Frozen Daquiri yum yum. Tonight I am in just a very calm mood as opposed to the last few days. So I bought two cds the other day. "Set if Off" by TFK cuz I never actually really had it other than the burnt that didn't have all the songs on it. I also got Stellar Kart. These guys are off the hook! I really really like them. "I can't stay awake cuz you know I'm thinking, always thinking of you. I can't fall asleep cuz I'm always dreaming, always dreaming of you. :) I wish someone felt that way about me. *sigh* I guess right now I am going to go try to read, do some stomach crunches, and relax for the remaining of the night. Love and peace to all. :)

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Wed, 04 May 2005 12:53:28 GMT

Things have been so-so lately. I found out my friend Michelle might be getting a new job which will help provide for her financially, but I just hope she'll be able to get off this summer to go to Ohio with me. There is so much going on in those 2 weeks that I am up, so I am hoping that I'll see everyone I wanted to see. Not too mention I am going to be seeing someone that I've been waiting to see for over a year now! I am mucho excited. hehe. I wanted to lose all this weight before summer too and so lately I haven't been doing too well, so I think I need to pick up the pace and try something new. And Aud, we need to spend somet girl-time together. :)

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 14:10:13 GMT

I haven't written on here forever so I would be surprised if I get any responses. So much has happened since I last wrote, but it is all pretty much updated on myspace you will see. I am doing much better than before. I have made some friends so that loneliness I had for the longest time is started to fly away. Right now I am working on saving up some money so I can take a vacation this summer and see all my buddies! I am also working on a diet. I have lost 20 pounds since I moved here and I'm trying to lose 15 more before the summer so we'll see how that goes. I have also been writing a lot more poems and such. If you dare read this, maybe I'll try to keep this updated as well.

*Jess*

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 12:46:02 GMT

I haven't written in here in over a month, so I wouldn't be surprised if nobody reads this. Last night I was the only one in the house for most of the day and I was rather lonely. It made me realize how lonely I really am when I'm not with my family. :( On another note, I have just 2 days before I fly up north! Yay. I am so excited that I am already halfway packed! I took tomorrow off of work so that I can finish up everything too. Oh and I lost 3 pounds so far from my last weigh in, so I hope I can keep up with that. Talk to you guys later and remember to check for updates on myspace! *Luv* Jess

Friday, October 15, 2004

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 03:16:41 GMT

Okay, just wanted to let the whole few friends I have on here that I have moved on to bigger and better things. I have moved to myspace.com, so if I don't write in here like forever, that is why! Here it is!

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user&Mytoken=20041010211833

Anyway, I'm so excited and bouncing off the walls lately. I ordered my ticket for my flight to Green Bay during Thanksgiving. I am so excited! yay! But I think I'm gonna go to bed now. I wanna read and I'm tired.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 13:37:38 GMT

Last night was a bad night. I slept well, but that was about it. I don't really wanna get into a lot of it because most of it was just personal issues and relationship problems. Anyway, I wake up today and we have no water! I can't shower, do my laundry, or even brush my teeth! I hope this won't last long. I got a call for this job to do today (answering phones for a company)and the only reason I turned it down is the fact that I couldn't get clean! Grrr.....On a better note, my bro's football team won last night 12-6. It was a pretty exciting game I must say. Well, other than that, my life is rather boring, so I am going to go try to figure out what to do with myself. Talk to you all later. Luv, *Jess*