| i find it funny....how they have to read what you post before allowing it to be post.... thats new.
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| I find it funny how everything on Xanga changes beside the way you write your blogs. Just a little side note there. But beside that life is going pretty crappy but than again nothing is ever going so great for me.
People are starting to piss me off.... thats all i got to say....
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| As i sit here tonight. I wonder to myself if I am able to make it. If I am able to go beyond the "line" so much shit has been going on and I am not sure if I can make it. I get so upset with myself at times. I get so mad at myself. I wonder at time if I can really make it.
Or am I going to crash and burn like I always do?
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| I am strong? right? I think I am. I know I am. But why do I feel so weak? I know why... its the limits.... 7 more months thats all....
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| So there has been a lot of things going on. I got down my college list and i am still on a job hunt. I also already found a few spots for my internship and i got some meetings/interviews added in. I am on top of most of my work and i am trying so hard not to fall down below. I am trying so hard to keep everything up. I am trying so hard to push myself no matter what. I am keeping everything out and keeping my mind on one thing. I am almost to my half way point for my permit. I can't wait. I am almost to the big 18. It amaze me how fast life can go, it amaze me how much can change. How much can go back... I am sleepy. I am dead... i found out today i am scared of my dad. I am scared that my feelings are going to get smash again. I am scared therefore i turn around to hate.
My eyes... my mind.... everything....
I had some time before school to sit down and write something... i haven't had that in 2 years. Most of my writings comes from me sitting in my room... in 9th grd it use to be on the bus or just anywhere. I am starting to redo that again and i am enjoying it a lot. I don't have much time for myself anymore. Its kind of sad. But i am starting to make time for me again. I am starting to rebuild up my balance. My balance between me, friends, family, school and soon my work.
"Men do you harm either because they fear you or because they hate you"
this is so true.
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