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I think one of the main reasons I don't write like I used to is because things have gotten too personal to just share with everyone.
Like I feel like four different people sometimes, and I didn't used to be.
I was thinking about this friend. She admitted to having a low tolerance of people recently, which isn't a big suprise, it just shows, you know? Well nevertheless, I love her to death. When we first started hanging out together and whatnot, way back my junior, her senior year, I was more quiet than I am now. I found out as I progressed through high school, I started off quite and just gradually got louder. Anyway, way back when, she was a friend I just had. Like, it just happened. Which is great. But now I kinda find myself trying to live up to standards I believe she would have for me, and it's tough because I never used to have to do this. I probably don't even have to, but she's one of the smartest, helpful (even though she can be really tough on me) friends i have. Like she understands for the most part, which is hard for anyone else to do. She seems really popular too. Like everyone wants to be her friend. And I kinda try to hang out when I can, but we kinda are on different schedules now. Last summer, we were together alot, and i miss that. It was killing me for awhile when she had plans to move to another state.
I guess what I need to figure out is how to just be myself again so I can relax.
On the upside, I have a friend who I have been getting closer to since about the fall. And it's great! I love her, she's sweet, hilarious and fun. But i think we kinda lack things in common so that's kinda tough.
I have alot of friends, but it's hard keeping up with everyone. I'm ok with the sporadic comments every once in awhile though, since it shows there's no real loss then. I'm hoping things will change come summer. It'll hopefully be easier.
Today is one of those days where I was forced into a thinking situation, but also one of those days where I'm in a optimistic mood.
So... GOOD :)
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| | Posted 3/20/2008 3:21 PM - 2 comments
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I adopted a cute lil' cow fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! 