About this Entry
Posted by: HarlequinxRomance

Visit HarlequinxRomance's Xanga Site

Original: 3/25/2008 2:56 PM
Comments: 3
eProps: 4

Read Comments
Post a Comment
Back to Your Xanga Site


Who gave the eProps?
2 eProps!2 eProps! 2 eProps from:
Boogie_Mon06
lifes_architect

Tuesday, March 25, 2008
 

It'd just be alot easier if the ability to think was gone.

Just from walking from one building to another, and it was enough to throw me over the edge.

I started thinking about how sensitive I am. I'm not just talking about how one slightly mean comment can send me spiraling, but I mean how  happy I can get if I find that someone I've done or said made someone's day or even giggle. A real laugh too, not that "I'm giggling to make you feel better." And yeah, even though it can make me happy, I hate how much something stupid and small can make me tear up. It's just pathetic.

It's so hard to do this on my own. I can't. I can for a little bit but it doesn't work for the long run. And it makes it impossible to think ahead. I have to concentrate on getting through one day. I can't think about what I'm doing next week or even tomorrow.

There's this sticker that Tawny gave me on facebook. It says "To save time, I'd like you to know I'm utterly insane" and I think I'm realizing the reason now of why she sent it. I have this feeling that I should always let people know everything that's wrong so they understand, but it's bascially impossible to do that. They don't understand, I can't make them, it's not anyone's fault. And I have feelings of like "there's people worse off than I, this is stupid. Why should I be crying right now?" Well that doesn't help. And then I feel less important and somehow beg of people to let me know I am actually needed. I know it's stupid. I've tried to do it less. Say all you want that I'm stupid for thinking I'm not important. I already know that, and honestly, I'm sensitive so it's not helping when you lower my self esteem like that.

And after saying all of these things, I feel dumb for saying them.

It's just, this was all brought on after reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and all the things that Charlie went through, I can see happening to me or all the advice he was given can just as well be given to me. The only difference it seems is that people see him more innocent, and I'm just seen as naive for being depressed and I don't think it's fair.

I'm just tired of this all. And I hate to do this right before Kory's birthday, cuz he's one of the few that make me feel better without giving me crap.

If I miss it tomorrow, Happy birthday, Kory! I hope it's a good one for you :)



 Posted 3/25/2008 2:56 PM - 3 comments

Give eProps or Post a Comment

3 Comments

Visit Boogie_Mon06's Xanga Site!

You know, for the longest time, and I still do a lot, I used to get really mad at people who told me, " I completely understand." Because you know what, as much as we want them to understand, they can't. It's not logical for anyone else to know or completely understand the happenings in someone else's life even if they are similar to their own. It's hard and it sucks but in a way it's good because we take all these situations and if we all handle them differently and feel differently about them, then look at all the different ways we can learn from situations! Sounds stupid I know but hey, it's me.

You're not stupid for feeling that way. What I mean is that... name one person who can look you in the eye and tell you that they have NEVER felt that way before... ever. It's part of human emotion... a part that sucks, but it's a part nonetheless.

Depression sucks, anyone who has that will know it. All I can say is hang in there the best that you can. You'll have good days and bad days, as you know. Btw --- there is nothing wrong with being sensitive. I cry so easily it's pathetic, I kid you not. I may seem like a bitch and try to act like one and sound like one somedays, but deep down inside i'm not. It's kind of this wall you might build around yourself, I know I did. tough on the outside but sensitive on the inside. It sucks but if you really think about it, I don't think there's enough sensitive people in this world anymore.

You hang in there, kiddo! (smack me if you hate me calling you that, I call most people that)

Posted 3/25/2008 5:33 PM by Boogie_Mon06 - reply

Visit HarlequinxRomance's Xanga Site!
Thank you.

I actually like being called kiddo. :)
Posted 3/26/2008 12:42 AM by HarlequinxRomance - reply

Visit lifes_architect's Xanga Site!
hey there lil' miss rock hand!  If you ever want  a smile you can just give me a jingle.  my number is on facebook. yep yep. I think I could pull that one :)
Posted 3/26/2008 10:00 PM by lifes_architect - reply


Choose Identity
(?)
 
Give eProps (?)
Post a Comment
Add Link | Preview HTML comment help 
Profile Pic:
Default  |  Choose »  (?)



Back to HarlequinxRomance's Xanga Site!
Note: your comment will appear in HarlequinxRomance's local time zone:
GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
I adopted a cute lil' cow fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Mashed Taters" autostart="true" loop="true" hidden="true"><bgsound src="<a href="http://www.goyk.com/flash.asp?path=958">Mashed Taters</a>" loop="infinite">