Dont belive everything you hear...

So ladies I have decided to blog again kinda cause I have a lot on my mind and I don't want to let all this remain bottled up. The second this become drama I will stop. I'm very anti drama these days, I want to distance my self as far from it as possible. I'm really happy with the new and improved me and I like working to be a better person.

I'm really happy how everyone for the time being and for the most part is getting along! Go us! Lets keep it up

I am also not believing anything I hear from anyone anymore if I hear anything about anyone I will most likely ask you about it. I hope that doesn't bother you, because I would rather help spread the truth than allow lies to go around I just feel like if all its going to do is cause hurt someone should stop it!

I hope you don't think I'm trying to be holier then thou or something because I'm still me I still say inappropriate things and I still say what everyone is alittle afraid but wants to say.

That's all I got for now hope you love it!

Ok this is probably going to start drama, but here goes aginst my better judgement to stay out of this. I just cant fucking take it anymore! Some of us moved here to be close with people we consider to be good friends and we wanted to have the best summer ever. That is quickly going down the drain. I have been very un-happy since moving here and I'm doing what it takes to change that I just expected this to be different here and if I wanted to be consumed in drama I would have stayed in omaha. So here it is I want no part of this stupid shit anymore. I dont want to talk about it even. I'm just sorry people who are soposed to be friends cannot respect thier soposed friends feelings! That's what it truly boils down to were all just looking out for our selves and not thinking of other people, not just any people ethier were not strangers were friends. People are throwing thier friendships away over boys and if you feel like that is what is most important to you fine I think your making a bigger mistake by killing a friendship for something that propably wont last 3 months tops. I have come to the point where I have remained quiet about my feelings because I have been afraid of who I might hurt in the process. Right now I think everyone needs a serious wake up call and I hope that you can look inside your self and see what your doing wrong. If not I'm more than happy to tell you how I feel about it....then again when have I not been. Things need to change before they fall apart and there already on that path of destruction. No one wants to be a group devided. Although its begining to feel that way. People may feel that I am apart of this problem with certian feelings I have towards certian people. Well its not that I dont want these people around its that I need space to deal with certian issues I have.( I have gone to these people and said so, so not to create confusion yeah that right thats me being mature about something) I did this in order not to loose vauable friends. I hope they understand that and realize that its for the best. I also feel like certian people have alienated themselves from the group now saying that they feel outcasted. In actuallity I belive they outcasted them selves. So we all feel like were on the outside looking in. Why dont we all just go inside togther it was much better when we were on the inside making fun of all the people looking in, and we all know I love to mock and make fun of the less fortunate. So here is your chance party at Tsk! Saturday 10:30- ? oh yeah thats a ?  were going to party all night who knows when well being going to bed probably when the people who live at Tsk are tierd. We could dare I say even go running! This is for us pulling our shit together and proving that we can put everything aside and still be friends and still have fun! First one to start drama is out the door cause the new rule at Tsk is if you can't be drama free you can't party!

P.S. I met a boy!

Thats Haute! Khay~

Currently Playing So Stylistic By Fannypack Hey Mami/Camel Toe see related

Tsk! Is where its at, and if you have to ask what Tsk! is you may never know. Last night was seriously one of the best times ever why cause it was drama free. Everyone just got along so well and I was happy to see some familiar faces that havent been making it out so often, and some lovely new ones that I hope to see again.

To Mitch Khol: I'm so glad we bonded I totally love our honest convertations. Its really great to have someone who just knows what you mean when your being rubbed the wrong way. I'm looking foward to our trip to the MAXX  and we will have to have that slumber party we talked about. We can watch movies all night  give each other facials and maincures and pedicures! It will be the best "gay" time you have ever had. I think your ready to go balls out into the gay community!

Also yesterday I got my poodle groomed for summer. It was getting a little too hot to be walking around with that thick fur coat on.

After the weekend getting ready for swimsuit season!

Currently Playing Willa Was Here By Willa Ford Did Ya` Understand That? see related

So I havent been writng in here.....I guess cause I have been too sad to want to share anything with anyone. Everything has felt so small and my depression has consummed me. I allowed it to take over me and eat away at who I am. Thank you to all the people who have been there for me trying to help me find my way back to myself. I'm still a little lost but I'm working on trying to get better and I know things can get worse before they get better, belive me there are getting worse. Today I took my first step to trying to make things better for my self. Cause I'm the only one who can do anything for me is me, I cant rely on others for my own self worth. I just have to stick with this I cant allow others to bring me down, or how certian people treat me to affect how I feel about myself. This is like at diet of sorts you can only have some much of something before it becomes bad for you. Its like trying to cut out carbs when you do that your just going to want them more so I'm only have carbs a couple times a week.  I have to start looking out for me and putting me first and I'm sure you all think I already do that. But its time to put me first time to bring back an old friend.......so will the real FABULOUS KHAY please stand up! So watch out I'm comming back with a vengence same packaging with a new an imporved flavor if you will muy caliente!

I will all always rise up with my head held high like a real diva dose

Do you love it ? Khay~