so friday at school i heard that my close friend got into a car accident. she already had a broken toe and is using cruches and then she got into an accident. Thank God she is fine but she stayed home on friday cause she was still shooken up. so on friday during lunch we were talking about what happened and what she might do cause she was in the car with another student from our school who was the driver. then someone said do you want to pray. she asked us at the end of the table if we want to join in with her to say a prayer. my friend sitting next to me asked why and said we dont have to cause she is fine. than the girl said well we should just pray and thank that she is ok. so i was fine with that but i never said ok. i was very hesistant. i see my friend talkin about the girl to another girl siting across from me and im just watching not saying anything. she ended up not praying. 
    was i ashamed? i dont know. it seems like it. i was afraid to be made fun of and say yes lets pray and thank God she is fine. why was i ashamed? again i dont know. its funny cause the day before the girl that offered to pray asked me if i was a christian and i said yea and she was like oh yea i forgot you were. do i not act like a christian in school? am i poser? i really dont think soo. i believe im the nicest person. i am known as a the "good girl." i dont curse and people know not to curse around me. but when that girl asked i was like what. i got confused. am i not acting like a christian in school? i thought i was. but i guess not. im afraid and ashamed of prayin in school. im not seen as a christian. i really guess i thought wrong.

so i've been learning a lot frm tito dolly's class every sunday morning before service. and i really enjoy his class. we use to learn frm this like magazine/book thing. but he decided to teach somthing else. he taught frm genesis 24 for like the past 3 or 4 weeks n i really learned a lot. i just wanted to share sum of what i learned.

we learned three things: willingness to show, do , and go. do and go were my favorite but show is basically about being chirstlike and that through our actions people could tell that if we are a christian or not. willingness to do is to actually doing. like in genesis issac's servant prayed that in order for him to kno who the girl is for issac she would offer to give water to him and his ten camels. and she would get the water frm like this well that you had to climb dwnstairs and bring the water up and camels drink alot. so wen he arrived rebekah did exactly that. and i dunno if u dont think that is like wow cause it is. just imagining it like i couldnt do that. and tito dolly was explainin how we should just go and do it. like if someone ask to help them or do sumthin we should do it and not hesitate. he also said that wen we pray we should be specific. he said we could start prayin for that guy or girl and you can be really specific. willingness to go is some wat like do. in genesis wen issac's servant asked if she would come wit him she said i will go. and if you tink about it she didnt even kno where she was goin or who issac was. she didnt kno if anythin mite happen to her and tito dolly was explain how one day wen we help someone or just do sumthin we will just realize like wow. this is wat i should be doing. and you'll kno that you changed someone because of wat you did and you kno that it glorifed God.

 i dont kno if that made any sense to you but if u read genesis 24 you mite understand. but like it really made me think. like im prayin that what ever i do should be chirstlike and that wat i do will make people see that im a christian which may make them interested and curious why. and i could tell them about God. n its funny but i also started prayin for that guy. and i was thinkin of what kind of guy do i want to get married to and stuff. i thought of different characteristics and stuff. and like i just realized you kno i dont need that like perfect guy all i need is that guy who is sold out to Chirst just like ate marchesa had explained. and thats wat i've been prayin for a guy who is sold out to Chirst, a guy who just loves God, and everythin he does glorifies him. i'd also prefer a filipino guy but other than that i really dont care. i've also been prayin that God continues blessing me and just usin me and that he continues to mold me. lately i just really like want to glorify him and like i really do love him. but yea i really liked the classes. and im just eager to kno wat God has instore for me.  i just cant wait wat God will  show me or teach me or do with me.