so i was searching for wedding quotes to put into a movie i'm making for my sister's wedding.... and here are some funny ones i found...

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.

They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another."

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and SOME of your spouse's family does too.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

-(all were unknown authors)

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband.  I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.  The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy - If you get a bad one you will become a philosopher - Socrates

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him - Oscar Wilde

The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake- unknown

Woman like silent men, they think they are listening - Marcel Achard

No man should have a secret from his wife. She invariably finds it out - Oscar Wilde

overrated

so is xanga just ovverrated anymore?

b/c honestly...i don't use it...and i don't read my subscriptions...

myspace is the new buzz...and at least it lets me play movies, and have some good music playing!...goodness...what has become of the world!

hmm...

i'm in Canada....

yea.

o i got this from teal.

At a computer expo a few years ago, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (partially reproduced below) stating: “If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3.Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before deploying.

7. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned  the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

8. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.  Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.”