Every time I sit down to try and write something I get overwhelmed with all that I have to do and should be doing rather than sitting here writing and reading blogs. My friend Giggles had a fabulous idea (that she got from someone else) to update her life in a series of three sentences. Here is my attempt…

I am completely enthralled with the Olympics, especially men’s gymnastics and the synchronized diving. I have been watching into the wee hours of the morning. Have you noticed that the caps the water polo players wear makes them look like Princess Lea?

I am whitening my teeth with the free stuff I won at the Mallard’s game. My teeth are whiter. My lower teeth are very sensitive to the stuff so I can only use it every other night.

The kitchen filled with smoke again as I attempted to cook a frozen pizza. Unbeknownst to me, olive oil must have dripped all over the bottom of the oven in my attempt to make Terry’s potato packs the night before. I either need to eat all raw food or hire a cook!

In an attempt to bust some debt, I’m going through closets and drawers. Anything that has been sitting in a box since we moved in four years ago is up for grabs. CDs, DVDs, and books are all going on Craigslist and Ebay and in a ginormous garage sale.

Speaking of debt, one of our credit cards just raised the interest from 16.9 to 29.9%. When asked why, they claim it is the variable rate. I say “%&%&(@*^^ @)&@*&(*&$)@&(^$*&%@$)$_)*%_()@)$^()*$^)@%&@_(*&_(&@)^$)^%)_&%_%*!!!”

Today is Friday (it’s now 12:02 a.m.). I don’t have a clue what I am preaching on Sunday. This could be interesting.

We’ve been praying about a great need. A need so great that only God could orchestrate its fulfillment. I’m completely blown away by the ways in which he is conducting the orchestra.

I’m going to bed now. Have a blessed weekend. Don’t forget Jesus!

In case you were wondering: I have always loved and respected Brett Favre as a football player and as a person. But this whole “I’m-retired-now-I’m-not” ordeal has really chapped my hide! He has proven to be an even bigger diva than Eli Manning could ever hope to be! If Green Bay makes him starting quarterback, I pray they lose every single game (THAT comment could get me booted form the state!). Aaron Rodgers is being treated dirty and no one seems to care about that. “It’s all about the winning” folks say. Sorry… I’ve not seen Green Bay have a winning team in a while. Trade him! Trade him, I say!

Okay. Now that I have THAT out of my system… I have a great critter story, just for Julie, since she has been praying for another shrew in my house :P

I spent Saturday afternoon mowing the grass. I’ve been on a mowing strike of sorts, and after six weeks, the Lord said, “Stop it! You’ve made your point”. So, I obediently went out to mow the knee high grass.

I started with the front of the church and as I came around the side of the building to start the back yard, a car pulled up on the side of the property and a guy about 18-19 got out. He came across the field carrying a backpack and a blanket, checking out the angle of the sun and where it would be best to set up camp. He set the blanket out, took bug spray out of his bag and sprayed all around the perimeter of the blanket.  Then he took off his shoes and socks and his shirt and lay down on the blanket.

Now, if you recall, I am mowing. I thought it strange that he would set up camp in the middle of my mowing, but since I was a ways off, maybe he didn’t quite grasp that I was about to invade his space. I was also trying to inconspicuously take his picture with my camera phone, so I could prove once and for all that people really DO think our yard is a public park put there for the neighbors’ sunbathing/kite flying/football/Frisbee playing pleasure by the Church of God. It was a bit hard to be inconspicuous on a big, green, roaring machine, so I kept the phone in my pocket.

As I made another pass, the guy jumped up at the speed of light and started flailing his arms while jumping and running through the field. If I hadn’t known better I’d have thought his pants were on fire! He ran over to the sidewalk and stood there panting. He would take off running toward the blanket, grab a sock or a shoe and run back to the sidewalk flailing all the way. This went on four or five times, until only the blanket that was left in the field. I was trying very hard to “look” busy and not let him see that I was laughing hysterically and about to fall off the mower! It was then that it registered in my head that the entire field is full of clover! He was being attacked by bees!

I wondered how he would actually get the blanket off the field. Just when I thought he was just going to leave it there, he ran out, grabbed a corner of the blanket and began running through the field waving the blanket over his head, twirling and flailing all the way. I remember thinking that he should try out for the flag and ribbon dancers in the marching band, and that sent me into fits of giggles as well.

He finally had all his possessions on the sidewalk, and he stood and shook everything out some more before throwing it all in the trunk and peeling away from the curb. If you happen to see a silver PT Cruiser flying through your neighborhood, watch closely… the colony of bees will be close behind!

My new motto:

“Those who lie down in fields of clover will soon be dancing with the bees”

Wisconsin has been known for it's serial killers.

Ed Gein, who was the inspiration for ovies like Psycho, Silence of the Lambs and Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Jeffrey Dahmer, the Milwaukee Cannibal, who killed and ate his victims.

The Smiley Face Gang, yet to be found/caught/hanged, thought to be killing young college men in Indiana, Ohio, Minnesota and Wisconin.

Now there is a new killer. Meet Keith Walendowski, 56, a Milwaukee man was accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn't start.  

And you thought YOU had problems.

 Thunder is pounding
No. Wait! I think that's my head
Vicodin is nice

(Written on day 10 of the headache from hell)

I snapped this with my phone's camera while the squirrel was charging by me. A big shout out to anyone who can figure out what he is carrying. I originally thought he had a goiter!

I am becoming increasingly aware of just how unaware I am. One of my friends told me yesterday that she loves listening to me talk because "you are just so naive and clueless sometimes".

I admit it. I am clueless.

There have been many time when I've run to Steve with some juicy bit o' news only to be be told, "That's old news, Babe!"

Just yesterday, the Madison PD announed an arrest in a high profile murder case. This was the third of three unsolved murders in the city. I did know about the first two, but this one passed me by somehow. I remember thinking, "Are they talking about Madison?"

Then another friend was annoyed with the Plan Commission for wanting to ban all drive-thru resteraunts in MAdison. I remember hearing something on the radio about a drive-thru, and I remember thinking, "Are they talking about Madison?"

Even during the flooding earlier this month, I didn't know about the worst of it until family in Indiana and Oklahome called and told me Lake Delton disappeared.

This whole clueless thing started when I turned 16. It is one of my mother's favorite stories, and a favorite of my friend, Megan, who dissolves into a pile of giggles just thinking about it.

On my 16th birthday, I had a slumber party with me and two other "Tinas" who were both born at the same hospital on the same day. We all ended up going to junior high together. On Saturday we were dropped off at the mall and we made a bee-line for Spencer Gifts. I found the cutest little buttons you ever did see, bought them and put them on immediately. We spent the rest of the morning hitting every store in the mall and being silly and all that teenage girl stuff.

When we walked out to the car, there was a mortified look on my mother's face and I thought I was unzipped or that I had a booger hanging off my nose. Oh that it could be that simple! As soon as Tina and Tina left, we sat down for a "talk".

Mom: "Do you know what those buttons are saying?"

Me: *DUH! I can read* "Um.... yeah...."

Mom: "Tell me what they mean."

Me: "Well, the one with the cute little chicken still in half of the shell means just what it says, "I just got laid". And the little devil one has a pitch fork and horns on his head which makes him "A little horny".

Mom: *mortified again* "NO, that is not what those mean."

And she proceed to tell her newly sixteen year old daughter the message she had been wearing on her chest while parading around the mall. Now it was my turn to be mortified! I really had NO IDEA!

Do you know my mom still has those buttons in her jewelry box?

So, at least I didn't get clueless with age. I have been clueless from the beginning.

Why stop now?

*Tap... tap... tap...

IS THIS THING ON?