2005 is finally drawing to a close... and since I doubt I'll be able to update tomorrow this is probably my last chance to recap on the past year.

This year in review...

It's quite amazing... it took 4 months of work at an actual job... and not babysitting kids with math... to completely destroy 20 years and 2 months' worth of my perspective of how the world works.  My life has always been based by what's been handed to me, be it school, friends, money... etc.  Now, it finally dawned on me that to get anywhere in life, you actually need to step out there yourself, cuz no one is going to hold your hand and guide you down the path to success.  Thinking back to my first 3 years in university, if i had an ounce of initiative things would probably be quite different.  But then things can actually be classified as success for me now... marks-wise... well... not stellar, but tolerable?  I have post-graduation plans... and they still haven't blown up in my face yet... but I should probably have a backup just in case Michelson realizes I know nothing about propagation... and yeah... the third thing... most people can guess, so yeah...

New year resolutions??

Well, I guess the main thing is time management... as the new year dawns, new challenges will arise in the form of projects and other coursework, and undoubtedly time will be a big issue as I will never devote most of my time to school commitments, but must still finish somehow... yeah... some things I'll never learn... hence the marks... meh... And I really must learn from my mistakes.  Making mistakes the first time, well you can attribute that to being naive, but the second time, you really have no excuse...

Anyways, a Happy New Year to all.  Lastly, may everyone who wishes to lose weight lose it, and the people who want to gain weight find the weight the weight-losers lose! 

Greetings, it's been a while.

Really should be sleeping now, but my relentless pursuit of finding excuses to sleep just kicked in... Turns out that I can't bullshit 15 pages of material in 1 night... brain kind of died at around 1400 words... and sputtered until I got to the end of page 8... 2000 words will have to be enough I guess, no point continuing to burn whatever functional brain cell I have left on adding additional bluff for a rough draft that does not need to be handed in... I have no idea why Michelson expects us to write 25 pages on our 496 project... maybe to him it's doable, but for the rest of the population, a project can be summed up in a couple pages... double spaced... with widened margins... in Tahoma... font 15... ... but yeah... 17 more pages to go, resorting to adding random diagrams comes to mind, and half-page Matlab plots are also useful in these situations... hmmm........ maybe I'm not as dead as I thought  mwahhahaha... cheap shortcuts always exist for precisely these purposes~~

Ironic how I'm typing stuff up to get away from typing some other stuff... go figure...

Anyways... 3 cheers for shortcuts~

Behold the random rantings of a mad man (as opposed to a madman) who is currently on a sugar high... no thanks to the poor excuse of concentrated sugar water they serve at Tim Horton's which they loosely call hot chocolate...

As my current MSN name temporarily states... "Being naive is only a blessing to those who don't realize it".  Realizing how pathetically clueless you are pretty much brings you down to earth... I unfortunately have gone through such a realization and the future looks pretty damn grim... 1 month into the school term, and that apparent light at the end of the tunnel I had desperately tried to reach is dying down to a tiny flicker waving in the wind... 

It was probably a mistake to take 496 amidst a moderately heavy schedule... but... blinded by my own expectations to graduate this year, it's coming back to bite me back in the ass... The next 2 months will be a frantic attempt to prevent the bite from infecting and scarring me for the rest of my life... as a bad mark in 496 pretty much kills whatever post-graduation plans I had... argh.... frick frick frick!!!!~~

I'm going mad~~~

Maybe it's that I'm at the office at 11:34pm, or maybe it's that it's been basically 13 days straight that I've been working this late, or maybe it's that I still haven't had dinner yet, or just maybe it's all of the above, and maybe perhaps more, that I'm becoming crazy...

It's really quite depressing, OTing everyday with no compensation... the only motivation to continue working is merely the fact that there really is that much work to finish and time is not a luxury... You really know it's about time to stop, though, when your stomach makes more noises than your mouth, your neck and head are locked in a forward-looking position, your eyelids require mechanical mechanisms to be lifted up, and your finger muscles are immensely developed while all the other muscles in your body are more or less redundant...

Anyway... I'm forever off next Wednesday!!!!!  Only 9 more days to go... yes... I'm counting Saturdays and Sundays too... >.<!!!!!  I basically have 2 days to spend all that money I made... yeah... all 40 bucks CAD of it... on whatever  the hell I want... 9 more days...............................

Choices...

Basically 2-3 weeks left in my work term, I'm still contemplating extending it to the very end of August and just spent the last 3 or 4 days in Hong Kong making up for a lot of lost relaxing time... seems kind of a waste of my summer, but haven't regretted it (much) yet, so we'll see if I can last a couple more weeks... or more like finish all the stuff that I've been assigned...

Also really stuck on what I want to do this coming year... I've been gathering opinions on whether spending 1 more year to finish my bachelor's is a good idea... as the stupid commerce minor requires me to stay an extra term.  If I want to really kill myself and finish my credits, including the 2 insane project courses, I'd be taking 6 courses each term... it's doable... but I'd be sacrificing my grades, what remains of my social life, and basically a chance to go to grad school... but conversely staying 1 more year will just give people the impression that it takes 5 years for me to complete something that should only require 4 years... not only does that imply me failing courses, but probably it means I slack off... Ok fine... 1/2 of those assumptions are correct, but avoiding those assumptions arising based on 1 line on my resume should justify my 1 year choice... right??? 

If there's one thing I haven't learned in my current job is the ability to make correct choices... not like these are life-changing choices that I may regret 10 years down the road, but at least in the short term it's going to somewhat change my life... what to dooooooooo~~