Currently Reading Safe People By Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend see related

smitten

so i'm dating the most amazing guy & i'm totally smitten with him.  i would say he's quite hooked himself :)  he comes from a land down under down under...that would be NZ for those of you not in the geographical know.  i'm thinking i should probably post info about him to describe him, but its kind of weird to describe someone you feel like you've known your whole life.  i mean, how would i describe my mom or my dad or my brothers or my dearest friends?  you don't.  they just are and you don't have to describe them, they are just a part of your life.  that's the kind of guy chris is.  he just is.  he's a part of my life and has just absorbed into my life so smoothly.  how did this happen?  it kind of snuck up on me.  when i met chris, honestly, he wasn't even on my radar.  apparently i was on his.  my relationship w/chris is much like my relationship w/God.  when God first drew me to himself, he really wasn't even on my radar, but apparently i was on His.  i mean, i knew Him, knew about Him, had been introduced to Him, but wasn't really pursuing Him. i'd hang out w/Him, but wasn't truly interested.  then as i hung out w/Him, got to know Him, i started realizing, WOW...He's a pretty amazing God!  i started to see His character & what He was like and how awesome He was.  then i started talking to Him, getting to know Him out of a newfound interest, and the more i got to know Him, the more amazing i found Him to be.  now my heart is smitten w/this amazing God who, for some reason that  i don't get, has totally pursued me and won my heart.  i won't lie, chris has done the same thing - pursued me & won my heart.  the parallels between my relationship w/God and my relationship w/chris are extraordinary.  God is teaching me much through my relationship w/chris. i can't even believe that God would put someone so amazing in my life.  every single circumstance in this newfound relationship are not ideal, but we don't exactly live in an ideal world. and i've scoped chris out w/God & gloria & it seems like God has given me the go-ahead.  now will he pass the irreverend karen davis test?  (insert fear & trembling). as i keep seeking God on this new relationship and asking what He thinks (really, more like bemoaning, "am i doing the right thing? it feels like the right thing, but God i really really want to do the right thing!"), i keep hearing Him say "Walk. Just walk."  When Abraham was 99 years old the LORD appeared to him and said "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless."  I've been looking at some of the Scriptures that have to do w/walking and i'm seeing that we are instructed to walk blameless, walk in liberty (ps 119:45), walk in love (eph 5:2), walk as children of the Light (eph 5:8), walk by the Spirit (Gal 5:16), walk by faith (2 Cor 5:7), walk in a manner worthy of the calling w/which we've been called - w/humility, gentleness, patience, tolerance, diligence... (Eph 4:1-3).  so i am going to do as God has instructed and walk securely in my way, knowing that indeed He will keep my foot from stumbling and He will keep my foot from being caught (Prov 3:23, 26; Jude 24).

ok, so i'm walking...and i happen to have some really great people to walk with - chris being one of them.  i want to gush about him a bit, but i really don't have any time.  just know that i'm internally gushing about all the little things he is and does and how taken i am with this guy.

Currently Reading How Do You Know God's Your Father? By Kay Arthur, David Lawson, B.J. Lawson see related

i think He likes me!

and no, i'm not referring to the guy who sent me roses today!  yes, that is right, i received flowers at school from saturday chris with a long note begging for a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression.  argh.  i turned all red while the ladies in the office watched me read the attached note. i was so embarrassed and one of my students was standing right there.  i think she thought it was kind of cool that her teacher had a suitor, but i was simply mortified.  it made for great lunch conversation though.

my title refers to God.  i think He likes me!   yesterday morning i was praying about some things pretty intensely and He totally heard me and responded to my prayer starting w/an 8 yr old.  got a random call from my friend's kid last night at her bedtime.  she was so adorable b/c she said "Heidi, I want to read you a pa-salm."  that just melted my heart that she would call to read me a Bible verse that she found that she wanted to share w/someone.  then she starts reading my BIRTHDAY psalm to me, which is basically the one about how much God loves us and how His thoughts toward us outnumber the grains of sand (ps 139). in some relationships people have their "song".  well, God & i have our "psalm".  THEN this precious 8 yr old goes on and says "Heidi, do you know what that means?"  and proceeds to explain to me that God loves me so much and thinks about me so much its more than there are grains of sand.  i could not get off the phone quick enough b/c i thought i was absolutely going to lose it.  in that phone call from this child, God had answered a very specific prayer & just did His thing again.  i'm pretty sure He likes me

i had to blog that to remind myself of how awesome my God is b/c today has been a spectrum of emotions.  my sleep deprivation levels are peaking.  then i find out ben's base has been hit & their ammo dump is being blown up. then i got rattled w/the whole stupid flowers thing. and some awkward tension w/a dear friend has me perplexed.  and then preparing for Bible study while i've been under the worst spiritual warfare in the last 6 months.  Bible study was awesome tonight though, but its hard teaching about something when God's working on your own heart about issues.  i hate having issues. 

i'm tired & cranky & emotional & feel like my head is swirling today. therefore, i must sleep.  after all, tomorrow is grey's anatomy night & i will have to hanker down w/a box of tissues & some ice cream to see who meredith chooses...mcdreamy or mcsteamy?  hmmm...

Currently Reading Habibi By Naomi Shihab Nye see related

blah blah blog

Brother brought it to my attn that I haven't blogged in a minute, so I shall give an update.

à     Just finished my first course toward my Ed.S. program this evening!  Yay!  I was up until 4 a.m. working on my papers.  I would like to think I've grown up significantly since I was 14, but no, I still have the same habits of procrastination. 

à     Had an awesome time Saturday afternoon hooking up with some friends from Nebraska who I met in India.  It was such a good thing to be able chat & process some of my trip.  I haven't had a lot of time to process & there really hasn't been anyone who has been able to understand my experience over there – cultural shock, cultural adjustment, cultural stress, & re-entry – and the wide spectrum of emotion in the last 6 months, so it was so awesome to reconnect w/part of the Nebraska team and have a chance to share.   It was a blessing from the Lord for sure!

à     I have fallen in love!  His name is PJ and he's from New Orleans.  Every Friday night I have a guaranteed date w/my friend Chris. Much needed girl time fo' shizzle!  Friday was especially fun b/c we went to PJs of New Orleans, a new coffee house much classier than the 'bucks.  I think I'm going to start cheating on Starbucks w/PJ.   The ambiance is better & after all I am a klassy girl  

à     Had a date Saturday night.  First one in a while.  Don't get excited.  He was a dud.  Totally underwhelming.  But I had scrumptrulescent steak & since the date wasn't going anywhere, I ate like a pig & had a great meal.  Does that make me a jerk to say that?

EDIT:  As I'm sitting here typing my blog, my girl Bernadette calls me & tells me that Saturday night date boy is bugging the fire out of them for my digits.  Apparently he told them to convey to me that he wants a second chance & really wants to take me out again.  Gosh, how do you tell someone you really don't want to go out with them?  I haven't had this problem in a while.  Its kind of fun being pursued, but now Saturday night date boy is starting to get on my nerves.  I'm going to have to increase my running so I can be like a gazelle & escape this pursuit J ha ha. 

à     Other than all that, I'm a boring school marm doing my teacher thang and absolutely loving it!  My precious homeroom babies were so good today that I almost cried.  Perhaps the 2 hours of sleep I got last night made me a bit emotional, but the kids were so sweet ( a rare occasion w/7^th graders).  One of my boys said, "Ms. Davis, you really work hard to do things for us to be a good teacher.  You're not like most teachers."  I really almost lost it right then & there.  I felt like having a great big group hug, but then my reason returned to me and I became my calloused self and made them work!   I had to share my sweet story of the day because it was like a blessing from God sent to me just to let me know He loves me and He did it through my precious ones that He lets me love.  Those stories are few & far between when working with middle schoolers, but that is what will keep me going for the rest of the week!

Here is an update in pics from the last few weeks:

This is why I only work in the nursey when Dawn is in there b/c I hate changing diapers!

I had to go old school on a few pics for Amanda this week for a little pic-me-up for her

New school or old news?

Like mother, like daughter...

Currently Reading Israel, My Beloved By Kay Arthur see related

My Life as a Barbie

Its been said that I'm more fun than a Barbie head...ok, so it was an 8-year-old that said it, but still....

Currently Reading Sadako and the thousand paper cranes By Eleanor Coerr see related

Lessons from my Tooth

Lesson #1 – Getting to the Root of the Problem

I went to the dentist this week because of some pain in one of my teeth that has already been crowned since I have such a regal mouth.  I ended up having an emergency tooth extraction. Definitely wasn’t anticipating that, but I didn’t care after 3 days of pain.  After I had a day where I took 6 Aleeve just to get through the day, I realized I needed to actually do something about the pain so I made the appointment.    The Aleeve was not addressing the problem – an infection from cracked posts in the area from the root canal.   The problem was there was infection trapped in my gums and the only way to remove the infection was to remove what was left of my tooth.  I am reminded of how I deal with my emotional pain & even sin at times.  Often I fail to deal with my pain or sin and the root problems and I’d rather just mask it.  Its too hard to deal with it or I “don’t have time” to deal with it.  I’d rather pretend its not there.  Yet what happens is the infection just gets worse and worse and will cause a much larger problem in the end.  Right now my gum hurts where they extracted the tooth on Wednesday.  It woke me up much earlier than I would have liked.  I’m proud of myself because I haven’t even got the pain medication prescription filled.  I have taken an Aleeve this morning to help with the pain, but dealing with the pain is part of the process.  I’m going to have to remember that as God helps me deal with emotional pains & hurts as well.   Also, when God shows me there is sin in my life, then I need to remember that the sin needs to be removed, extracted immediately or else it will cause pain and infection in my life.

Lesson #2 – Small Things Make a Big Difference

My dear cousin wrote a wonderful blog this week about being faithful in the little things.   It was such a good reminder to me.   I think I may have simply read her blog and moved on except my tooth extraction made me stop and ponder some more.  I would like to add to her blog and say that the little things, the small things make a big difference.  I did not realize what a big pain such a small tooth could cause until I spent 3 days in pain because of it.  The infection that had gotten in where the root canal posts had cracked was actually quite small… “no big deal”.  Yet, it caused an immense amount of pain.  When I went to the dentist and we discovered the “root” problem (pun intended) I thought he was going to have to do some big surgical procedure to remove the tooth.  However, after sufficiently numbing me, all the dentist did was take a pair of pliers, grab the tooth and yank it out by the root.   (Btw, when you’re mouth is numb & you’re bleeding out the side of your mouth, not cool.  Its one thing to have drool running down your cheek, but to have blood running down your cheek kind of grosses people out.)  Anyway, its been 3 days yet the last few my mouth has been really achy.  This morning I woke up because of the pain actually.  There was a hole left in my mouth.  The hole is trying to heal.  Its only one tooth in a mouth full of teeth, yet I failed to realize what a big difference this small thing makes.  I have had to eat soft foods, I’ve had to avoid brushing my teeth on the left side of my mouth, I’ve had to gargle with salt water, I’ve had to quit chewing gum (schnarf!).  My jaws have even had to re-adjust & my muscles are sore because this extraction has changed the shape of my mouth.   Point being, the small things make a big difference. 

Its funny how God gets my attention and my life has to be affected somehow in order to teach me lessons.  I’m going to try to remember this lesson as I deal with people.  I’m a small thing and I want to make a big difference in a positive way.  But I see so often the small things that I do to my students and people I’m around can be negative – I can either be like an infection and cause pain just in the smallest things I do – a tone of voice, a look, etc.  or I can be faithful even in the little things as Cousin Leah talked about and hopefully make a big difference.