Dear God...

Encouraging Your Family

This seemed like a good opportunity to brag on my man- and I can't resist that……especially since he, or a conversation with him, provides the inspiration for most of the articles I write these days.  Encouraging those around us is a conversation we’ve had many, many times.  Ben is incredible…and amongst many other things, he’s a wonderful encourager.  Of me, yes, everyday- the biggest encouragement in my life…but it doesn’t stop there, as he continually encourages others, as well- and was a blessing to me many times long before either of us had any idea of what God was up to. 

Encouraging Your Family

            We take our family for granted so often.  Since we live with them, and they’re always there, we often forget to take the time to thank them for all they do for us.  Our family is so vital, and needs our encouragement.  They need to be reminded that you appreciate them- don’t just assume they know it. 

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            Our parents- they’re amazing!  They pour their lives out for us.  Have you thanked them recently?  Have you named something you really appreciate about them?  It’s such a small thing, but it can really mean a lot.  It could be something really small- thanking your Mom for taking the time to talk to you, or your Dad for providing so well for your family.

            You could also offer to take care of some of their work for them, which is another aspect of encouragement.  You might tell your Mom that you really appreciate all she does for you, and so you want her to take a break while you take over her duties for that day.  Or offer to clean out your Dad’s work area.  You could spend a Saturday filling the freezer with meals.  Or wash the cars.  You might write a note of thanks to your parents.  With a small amount of creativity, the possibilities are endless.    

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            Our siblings need our encouragement, too.  Not flattery- not just making something up.  Each and every person has some good in them- and generally a whole lot.  I’ve found it to be especially important to work hard at encouraging those who do have a lot of “more visible” areas in their life to work on.  I have a few siblings like that, and when evaluating, have found that I’m not encouraging them very much.  It’s all too easy to point out some of their problem areas, but say nothing of the good in them.  A little bit of encouragement would go a whole lot further than constantly tearing them down! 

            Here’s one example: suppose you have a sibling or child that really struggles with math.  You could constantly focus on math and improving in this area- but if you just focus on what they don’t know, it wouldn’t take much to make them feel like an academic failure.  If, however, they really excel with another subject, balance it out- and don’t forget to tell them how great they’re doing in other subjects.  Maybe your sibling loves to write, but has horrible grammar or spelling.  Leave it alone!  Encourage their creativity, and wait a while before you begin working on grammar.  You can turn a writer into someone who despises writing pretty quick, just with marking up the whole page, pointing out every grammatical error.

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            Some of you are married, or engaged.  It’s been a great joy to devote my life to trying to be an encouragement to my man.  What a privilege to be his primary encourager, to love him through his battles, to support him, to lift him up.  As your husband’s helpmeet, you get to share the journey with him- you get to hear about his ideas, and follow where he leads your family.  For the guys reading this, some of the ideas get flipped around, but the principles stay the same- my man is an amazing example of an encouraging husband(-to-be).  Encouraging your spouse could come in many different forms- sometimes it might be words, while others it could be through serving, or through listening to and loving them, through showing how much they mean to you.  The person you commit the rest of your life to is the most important person in your life.  You’ll spend every day for the rest of your lives together- so you’ll encourage- or discourage- this person more than any other in your life.  Together, you can stand as a stronger unit than you were on your own, if you build each other up.  If not, you’re not going to have a lasting impact on anyone in your life.

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            Your kids…most of the same principles from the sibling section could just be inserted here, so because of that, and the fact I’m not a parent, I won’t say much on this aspect.  I did want to add, though, that your kids need your encouragement.  They thrive on it.  It presses them on to great heights to be told they’ve found favor with you.  The most important encourager in a child’s life is their parents.  If they can’t find favor with you, and you let peers and others outside the family be their encouragers, who do you think they’ll turn to when they’re in trouble?  When they’re hurt?  When they’re confused?  They’ll run to those they know won’t condemn them- those who’ve encouraged and accepted them. 

            You can make your kids obey you for as long as they’re under your rule.  But you can’t have their hearts unless they’re absolutely certain you love them just the way they are, and that you can see the good in them.

            A “good parent” won’t go to the other extreme, spoil their children, and act as if they could do no wrong.  Real love gives room for error, and loves in spite of mistakes, but it also spurs you on to greater heights.  An encourager will make you a better person.    

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            So often, having an impact on people outside of your family is viewed as much more important.  That’s why we have this ministry and that.  Some of them are good, or can be- but not if for one moment, they put your family down as of lesser importance.  It’s your family whose lives you’ll spend the rest of your life involved in- and it’s your family that you’ll have the greatest impact on, for better or worse.  It’s a choice that’s up to you- will you build your family up, or tear them down?  If your little brother is always being put down at home- if he’s told he’ll never succeed in life, just because he’s mischievous and has an adventure streak, what do you think he’ll end up being?  There might be some, who are very rare, that will succeed anyway.  But most?  They’ll just be what you expect them to…people that aren’t good for much, and won’t bother trying, because there’s seemingly no use.  What about your husband?  How can he follow the dreams God’s given him with a nagging wife, always tearing him down, and using every failure to remind him of why it wasn’t a good idea in the first place?  How about the workaholic husband, who doesn’t have time for his family?  A wife needs her husband to be there for her, and kids need their dad.  There’s the daughter, too…the daughter who just isn’t there academically.  The daughter who grows up assuming she can’t learn anything…and will eventually stop trying.

            Amazing people, each with tons of potential…but they need their family to see it in them.  They have to know that they are worth a lot to you.  It’s simple- it takes a very small amount of time.  In fact, after constantly focusing on in for a while, it’ll eventually just become a way of life to build up, instead of tearing down.  I know I still have a long road to travel- it’s been a journey.  None of us are perfect or ever will be- but we can still be used for the better in the lives of those closest to us.  Are you ready to join me?   

The Miracle of the Cross

The Miracle of the Cross:

What Jesus Did For Me

          I was listening (via radio) to a sermon delivered to a tribal group, with the help of an interpreter.  He shared something that really stuck out in my mind- “The miracle of the cross is that there was no miracle.”  Wow….simple, but profound.  Have you ever thought of it like that?

            Jesus raised the dead to life, healed the lame, blind and deaf, and turned water into wine.  He could have called a host of angels to bring Him down from the cross.  He could have never allowed himself to be captured.  He could have never come in the first place.  He could have condemned us all to hell (what we deserve).  He could have, but He didn’t.

            Have you ever thought about how much physical pain and emotional torment Jesus went through for you, and for me?  Having to be separated temporarily from God, because He was so laden with my sin.  The beatings.  Being spit on in the face.  Having a crown of thorns smashed on His head.  When He was so weak He could probably barely move, He was forced to carry the heavy cross through the town (till all physical energy gave out), with people jeering at Him, and probably throwing things.  Then, having nails pounded into His hands and feet.  Can you imagine having all your body weight held by the nails in your hands and feet?  The severe pain?  Because of my sin.  Because of yours.

            Have you thought about it lately?  Would you go through all of that for someone who hated you?  Not your best friend- someone who hated you.  Someone who wanted to see you dead.  And with your dying breath, would you say, “Father, forgive them”?  He was forgiving you and me, as much as He was forgiving those there at the cross.  It was our sin that put Him there.  Jesus didn’t do it for the perfect man.  He did it for me- someone who, before redemption, was too sinful to touch God.  I John 4:10 says, “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”  This was love in the most tangible way.

He did it for me.  By choice.  He didn’t have to, but He did…because He loved me, and because He loved you.  He’s given us a free gift- the gift of eternal life spent with Him.  Paid in full, sealed with His blood.  It’s the costliest, most beautiful gift we could ever receive.  We’ll never be able to pay for it…it’s a free gift.  Ephesians 2:8-9 states, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”  

Most of you reading this have already accepted Jesus’ gift.  But maybe you haven’t.  It’s so simple, a free gift.  But it’ll change your life forever.  Once you accept it, you’ll never be the same.  The gift is already paid in full.    He loves you more than anyone else ever will.  Not many would go through the pain Jesus did, for someone who hates them.  The choice is up to you- will you take it or leave it?

Maybe you’re a Believer who’s forgotten what Jesus went through for you.  The excitement of being a “newborn” Christian has worn off.  You’re busy with your life, and it’s been a long time since you’ve given the cross much thought.  Has “the cross” become a light thing to you?  It’s time to look back, to remember.  The most wonderful part of the story is Sunday morning, when Jesus rose again.  It was because of this final factor that He was capable of giving us eternal life.  But may we never forget what He suffered to get there.  May we never set it aside as “small”.  May we never assume it was “due” us. 

We have the knowledge….now we must share it!  The price was too high for us to hide this gift.  I John 2:2 says, “And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.”  We have to spread the Good News, and “tell the world that Jesus loves them.”

Have you thought about the cross lately?  Have you made Jesus your King?  Have you shared it with others?  Never get so busy you forget what He’s done for you.  Keep pressing onward in Jesus’ Name! 

Just Life!

I'll continue to keep y'all updated on the adoption- at the moment I don't have any new news, other than our children's Father is ready to come in for his interview at any time, and Emmanuel, the one escorting our children home, is ready to do so once all the paperwork gets finished up.  I'll let you guys know when they arrive- and I will try, very hard, to post a picture (especially for you, Bethany ), but I won't actually promise it...   

Just Life!

            Sometimes, daily life gets drag-y.  As you fall into the monotony of daily life, the same thing over and over, in can become hard to see what good you’re doing.  Cleanup, prepare a meal, clean the kitchen, change diapers, cleanup, prepare the next meal, clean the kitchen, baths and bedtime for little ones, more cleanup, preparing the next day’s school, and on the circle goes.  I know, because I’ve been there.  I’ve gotten discouraged, and wondered if my life was counting for anything as I did the same things over and over again.  In fact, I was there just yesterday.  J

            It wasn’t long, though, before God started prodding, and reminding me once again of what’s important- that reading The Story About Ping for the millionth time was counting for something, because I was building relationships with my little brothers.  Preparing a meal, especially with a certain little “helper” was a good thing, because feeding your family nutritiously is a large part of nurturing and caring for them.  (As a side note: Obviously, nurturing the family is the mother’s primary role.  My mom plays a huge role in this, much larger than I, as the queen of her home- we share the workload, meals is currently one of my “territories”.)  Cleaning up is a good thing, because it’s turning the home into a haven, a resting place safe from all the cares of the world.  God works through the little things, like our attitude in how we do something. 

            I read a story once, about a family who had several small children.  At church, the youngest started getting fussy, and finally the mother had to take her out to feed her.  She was feeling discouraged because she really wanted to “worship God” but now felt she couldn’t, since she was stuck out in the hallway with a fussy baby.  Then God showed her that she could worship Him- that it’s not in singing and clapping your hands that you praise God (though that is certainly one facet!), but in having an attitude that glorifies Him in all that we do.  I love that picture of realizing that you’re worshipping God while you’re out in the hall, bonding with your baby instead of sticking him in the nursery so you can “focus on God”.  It’s the little things…and how we do them.

            It’s in taking two minutes to dance to a praise song with your preschoolers and toddlers that you’re worshipping God.  It’s in creating a peaceful haven at home that you’re worshipping.  It’s in letting the toddler help you, even though it’ll take much longer.  It’s in letting go of self that you’re worshipping God.  It’s in diving headlong into the task He’s given you- to care for your family- that you’re worshipping. 

It’s not going out and doing some great thing.  It’s not being someone great, whose name and works everyone knows.  It’s not in getting a bunch of things done.  It’s not even in being perfect. 

It’s simply in doing the small tasks Christ has set before you, with a cheerful attitude as unto the Lord.  It’s about having an eternal perspective- knowing what’s going to count in the Kingdom; what will last forever.  Your children will remember the time you spent with them.  They’ll remember the delightful smells of home.  They’ll remember the atmosphere, and the type of Mom you were.  That’s what matters.  Because someday, your children are going to grow up.  They’ll start families of there own.  They may raise up another Godly generation, because of your influence and their home life growing up.  Or, they may turn and run from it, because they saw how miserable you were, and don’t want their children to grow up the same way.  It’s a choice- and it’s not just choosing to get the laundry done, it’s choosing to affect many generations.

What choice will you make?                

Finding Peace

Discovering Peace in Chaotic Places

            But the fruit of the spirit is…peace.  (Galatians 5:22)  What is real peace anyway?  And how on earth can you find peace in a busy household?  Are you perhaps thinking to yourself, “Spend an afternoon here, lady!”?  Buzzzz…there goes the dryer signal.  Rrrringgg!...the phone’s ringing…again.  Beep!  Beep!...there goes the oven timer, reminding you that the casserole’s burning, and you still don’t have the salad made.  Don’t touch me again!...yes, another fight has broken out.  Waaaah!...you guessed it: the baby’s screaming, too.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that the house is a wreck, there are 5 load of unfolded laundry on the couch and the dishes are piled nearly to the ceiling?

            Most of us have been there, some of us frequently. But you know what?  As someone once put it:

Peace is not being in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work….it is being in the midst of those and still having peace in your heart.

And how true this is!  Peace isn’t based on circumstances…if it was, it couldn’t possibly be a fruit of the spirit, because few of us have “peaceful” circumstances, and there is not one amongst us who always has peaceful circumstances!

            Whether you have peace in the situation mentioned in the first paragraph or not is up to you.  It’s all in how you’ll respond…not what life throws at you!

            Several months ago, we moved our large table out of the too-small dinette, and into the end of the living room, which was right next to the dinette.  All my siblings were so thrilled with the extra hard-floor space that they decided to get their match box cars and race them through the dinette/kitchen.  All of this was about 5 o’clock in the evening, when I was making a salad, finishing the potatoes, etc.  It got very rowdy, as they shouted over the winner, and yelled that their car was sure to win.  But the house was so peaceful.  Yes, it was loud, but there was an atmosphere of peace, free from contention, strife, yelling as a result of anger.

            Another time, we were at a friend’s house for dinner.  They had a large family as well, with twin 8 year old boys.  Seconds within our arriving, all the kids were running all over the place, whooping and yelling, and having a wonderful time.  Yet again, it was wonderful…peaceful.  Why?  Because everyone was joyful.  The hostess didn’t mind all the noise and running around, and went throughout the final food preparation glowing as she served.  This is a peace much greater than a quiet house.   

            Recently, during the writing of this article, I was busy making last minute dinner preparations that I hadn’t gotten to earlier.  Mom was in bed, as she’s been dealing with morning sickness, and Dad was with her, as it was one of the few chances they’ve had to talk lately.  All the kids were screaming and running around, looking very much like wild animals.  In and out of the kitchen, down the hall, through the living room…everywhere.  I started thinking, “I just want some peace and quiet!”  Then the Lord reminded me of the very things I’ve been writing: you don’t need quiet to have peace!  We have a tendency to use the two words synonymously- but you can have one without the other.  Sometimes, quiet is nice…but during the rowdier times, it is possible to be peaceful, and make the times much more joyful.  In this situation, I would get my quiet later in the evening, and for now, could obtain peace if I chose to.  It’s not always easy- as I saw- but it is possible.           

Life is a matter of perspective- we can live under the worst of circumstances, and have a wonderful life- or, we could live under so-called “ideal” circumstances and be miserable.  I can look around me, see all the disaster, and despair, or I can see 7 growing children, who will one day be warriors and maidens of the King.  I can look around and smile, remembering that I came to serve, just as my Master did.  I can savor every laugh and set of dancing eyes- or sigh at the thought of how much work there is left to do.  If our actions depending solely on our circumstances and others, it would be a very trying world, would it not?  But it’s all in our attitude, not what others do!

I’m still not perfect….in fact, I have a very long road to travel before I reach anything like partial perfection in this area. 

One of the things I probably do most frequently is to go into another small room (the bathroom works great!), shut the door and pray, “Lord, please give me peace, because I can’t do this on my own!”  And He is faithful!  Then there are the times when I have to remind myself…“Deep breath, this won’t last forever- enjoy it while you have it!”  And lastly, I try to constantly remind myself to keep the right perspective- to see things through God’s eyes, in the big picture.  To see beyond the piles of dishes and into the hearts of each of my siblings. 

I don’t always remember to keep life in the right view…I’ve wanted to quit on more than one occasion, and I definitely don’t have it all together.  It’s a growing process…3 steps forward, 2 steps back.   Sometimes it feels more like 2 steps forward, and 3 steps back.  J  But someday we’ll get there.  And in the meantime- keep pressing forward, into the image of Christ…may God richly bless you as you keep on!