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| i really kinda wish i'd had more fun
this birthday was fun but not nearly as much as the last one and it has nothing to do with the subtraction of a makeout session. I had friends that love me and wanted me to have a good time but i just wasn't feeling it. i write that here so as not to hurt anyone's feelings i know they don't have xanga and wont read this. i really did want to do the things that i did tonite the dinner the attempt at clubbing but i wanted a bigger group. i guess even tho i'm 25 i still want to be the popular girl. i want to be the one who has her tight knit bunch of friends but also hangs out with everyone else from work. i guess i want to be the one that not just gets the hi or a smile and wave from everyone but also gets hugs and flirted with. a really big part of me wants to be th center of attention every so often and to have the need for a spot light because you just can't seem to find me in the sea of ppl wanting to be close to me. i know that they say popularity isn't all that great, but i'm pretty sure that comes from ppl that were never very popular. i've always been someone that everyone knows who i am, but so few ppl know me. part of it has to do with my shyness, i know you prolly don't see me as shy but i really am i'm terrified at times to talk to ppl. but i think part of it is that some ppl don't know how to approach me. some of it is possibly because i feel as though in my 25yrs i don't feel like i've accomplished much i feel as though i've not touched anyone's life. like these weeks i've not worked, i feel like i wasn't even missed like i never mattered. i guess at 25 i just want to feel important. if not to my job to someone. oh well i'm too tired to go on right now. good nite.
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| Is it wrong to be some what in love with a fictional character from a movie......but he's just so damn charming...... and it's not even just that i like the actor. I like it when he's charming me at work too. i wonder what's a girl to do what a pirate has stolen her heart.......
and just so you know I'm talking about the one on the right, Capt. Jack Sparrow, not Barbossa.
love and overtly sexually charming pirates
Natalie
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|  | Currently Listening
Bubbly
By Colbie Caillat
if this isn't my rection i don't know what is
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So about thatI wrote yesterday that I again got passed by for another girl. This, if you know at least some of the story of my life, happens often when I crush on boys. But in a twist of i dunno something, even though it hurts like hell I am ok, and I can't believe I'm saying this b/c i don't talk like this, I can see God's hand in it all. I promised myself, God, and my future husband (whoever he may be) that I was going to wait until marriage to have sex. Now lots of girls say this and don't mean it but I really do want to wait. Then this boy here happened to me. He's good lookin, and smooth, and he actually finds me attractive, and not just attractive but HOT. Now if you have no idea what I look like you can picture some one that looks hot and say now why wouldn't she be hot. But take my word for it I'm not what the general population would call hot. I'm someone who is called cute, adorable, and sometimes pretty, but never hot. with the exception of my friends who see the real me and can see passed all the fat. Now this boy knew from the first time we spoke that I had this plan. And yet he did persue me. For the first time ever a boy actually WANTED me. he didn't just say oh your cool to hang with he wanted to be with me in a physical way. I'm gonna be honest I wouldn't mind being with him. And we made out a few times and I really like him, to the point of my body reacts to his looking at me. I have never before in my life had a hard time of keeping my virginity, trust me boys don't ask me for sex they ask me for a light. I wanted so much to tell him that I had changed my mind and broken my promise and I hate breaking promises. I wanted his hands on me. I wanted to be his and him to be mine in a very physical way. And it may have happened if he didn't get himself a girl who would do all that he wanted. And that's where I see God's hand. I still really like this guy and I think he still likes me, but I know that God was looking out for me. And although it still hurts that he's with someone and I sit here alone. I'm more ok then I've ever been with it. because he's still a friend and we still get to see eachother at work and flirt a bit. I know I don't usually pour my heart out to the Xanga world but I needed to say this to someone, anyone even if it's just the internet itself. I find it funny that for 4 and a half years I went to a christian college and never once did I see God's hand in my life as much as I do now working at Disney. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here and I would have never met this boy who has made me more confident then ever in my looks and just myself in general. Now i'm gonna try and see my friend Mandee who I haven't seen in over a year. then get what little bit of sleep I can for work tomorrow. Thanks for taking the time out of your life to read my thoughts. True Love and God's hand Natalie | | |
| Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!!!!SO quick question: Is it wrong that it is already an awesome birthday. Just a quick list to help all y'all catch up. Had to work last night till 10:30.....whatever FINNALLY got to PI and saw that guy... you know...the guy I'm kinda crushin on. Said guy dances with me walks me home talks a good bit of the night wait what's this he's interested?!?!?!?!?!?!? I think I may have made out with him.....wait...yeah that's right Natalie got a lil birthday action LOL who knew that I had to leave Milligan o find a guy that thinks me attractive. Peace and more birthday stories to tell, Natalie P.S. that's right this day just started.......... Oh and a BTW I'm 24! | | |
| A Milligan Tradition.....The Buff RunOne of them wore a sweat band. I think one of them was wearing a tie. One carried a stick. But they were ALL naked! Ladies and Gents I have witnessed a fabled Milligan Tradition, the buff run. I had an inside source that told me that he and a big bunch of guys were going to be completing the last and final leg of the buff run so as to become members of the Buff Club. Most of the time when those who wish to join this group do so spur of the moment. They show up on Webb porch strip naked and start runnin. This group was organized though. They got together a pretty good number of guys I would say about 10 -15 and they even scheduled a time. So to clarify what the Buff Run is, there are three legs in which a person, male or female, run from Webb porch to a location on campus and back. Now these boys ran from the porch to the post office, the final trip, but they didn't run back. Tina, my accomplice and I say that they cheated. It's doesn't really matter, but we still say they did. They jogged to the PO and hopped in a truck on the way back. Tina and I were laughing so hard to be witness to this that we didn't see much. And we were hidden so well that the boys didn't see us. My favorite moment though was when Tina and I were headed back up the hill the boys came by and I told them that I had photo proof.....The look on their faces LOL! They started yelling "get her! get her camera!" They didn't get my camera. And I'll come clean I DON'T HAVE PICS OF YOU GUYS DOING THE BUFF RUN! I don't so boys your secret is safe with us, we won't name names, it was all in good fun. You're all good sports for playing along. There is some debate as to if you have to run back or not. We say you have to run there and back. The boys say that you can run down and take a ride back. Do you know anything about the Buff Run? What are the Rules as far as you know? Leave me a message and let me know. Love and Glairing white butt cheeks Natalie | | |
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