Something Wicked This Way Comes

I'm working on an entry for my work's annual Halloween art contest...the theme is Something Wicked This Way Comes. Anything artistic goes. Here's what I have so far. I want to add mini poem snippets on top, in the magnetic poetry style. The first poem would start "Something," the second "Wicked," the third "This way," and I would either add a fourth that would start "Comes" (and add another storm/carousel horse) or end the third with with "comes." I haven't decided yet. I love photoshop.

Person #138

Only about 140 people go to heaven, and I'm person #138. I just got my ticket in the mail. Do you have yours?

I'm watching the documentary after the 2:00 Saturday session. It's about the making of American Mormon. One of the filmmakers said that people commonly "misunderstand the misconceptions." If there are going to be misconceptions, we want everyone to be perfectly clear one them, dangit! Don't misunderestimate the power of one film to change all of that!

One woman's answer to the question of how much she knew about the church, "What do I know about Mormonism? Oh...enough." Ha! Enough for you obnoxious people to get the bleep out of my face!

The funniest were these women who obviously had us confused with the Amish. The interviewers revealed themselves as Mormons during the interview. These women said that Mormons use their own technology, as in no computers, no phones...he prompted her, "no microphones?" He was holding a microphone in her face. "Nope, they even churn their own butter." They should totally flash "IDIOT ROTFLOL!!11!!1!!" on the screen during her interview.

Oh, and we only eat nuts and berries and chocolate. Ha. ha. People are stupid. Always a funny joke. Not! (I miss saying Not! at the end of obvious sarcasm. Ah, 90's middle school lingo.) Ok, maybe some of them are a little funny.

It slightly bothered me that I only saw the guys attempt to correct someone once, and even then, it was only done for a laugh. Though it did seem like they planned to set the record straight once the cameras stopped rolling.
Hilarious Ignorant Heathen: "Mormons don't dance. (uncertain pause) Right?"
Interviewer: "Well, we don't dance during the church service."
If the HIH meant "can't" when she said "don't" then the interviewer wasn't really being completely honest there. Has he seen Napolean Dynamite?

Speaking of the church service, Mormons stand up and confess their sins to each other, unlike Catholics who sit and confess to a priest. Those confession meetings take like 5 hours too, according to the woman who went to one once. I hope she was wearing comfortable shoes. Man, that is brutal, why wouldn't they let her sit? When I go to my ward's member-confessional meetings, they let us sit.

Overall it was funny, but I just am uncomfortable seeing people being led  to look stupid. I hope they at least handed out some Book of Mormons with all this mockery. Thanks for letting us laugh at you! Read our scriptures!

Currently Reading Step Across This Line: Collected Nonfiction 1992-2002 (Modern Library Paperbacks) By Salman Rushdie see related

Not Even Midnight

Oh yeah! I have a blog! It's about time for a new look & feel. I need to make a new banner.

Hello insomnia. It's been a while since we've talked. I guess I can't complain about not being able to fall asleep until it's at least 1 am. Even if it is 2 hours past my normal bedtime.

Movies I would buy to build my DVD collection if I had money to burn:

Wizard of Oz - I read an essay by Salman Rushdie about this movie that reminded me how much I liked it.

Some Kind of Wonderful - I just watched the second half of this Hughes movie on tv the other day. It's much better than other Hughes movies I've seen, mostly due to the likability of the leads. Maybe I in a special mood, but as cheesy and paint-by-numbers as it was, the ending just got to me.

Jersey Girl - The old one, not the Ben Affleck craptastic one. Also a cheese-fest, but a cheese-fest of the highest quality.

The Little Mermaid - The first Disney movie/musical I saw in the theater multiple times, probably the first movie I saw in the theater multiple times. I was 11 when this came out. I (as in my parents) bought the soundtrack, piano music, even a sing-a-long tape. I could sing and play every stinkin' song. I could even play that song that Prince Erik plays on the recorder while roaming the beach on those plastic recorders that most 4th graders are issued in elementary school and forced to learn to play.

Beauty and the Beast, Aladin, The Lion King - Might as well get the other great Disney musical/movie hits too. After Lion King they all went downhill, in my opinion.

I'm bored of this game so I'm going to stop. I'm sure you were bored of reading after the second sentence and stopped way before now. End transmission.

Currently Listening Survivor: The Official Soundtrack to the Hit CBS TV Series By Various Artists - Soundtrack, David Vanacore, Russ Landau see related

Survivor: 1950

Wow. Tribes divided by race. There will be a team of blacks, whites, Latinos and Asians. I guess Mark Burnett was sick of people not watching his show.

My first thought? How this would affect me, of course. If I didn't throw up at the sight of soggy cereal and could stand to sleep in temperatures higher than 85 degrees, I just might apply for Survivor. But if I got there and saw the teams divided by race, I'd be horrified. The reasons are purely self-centered, as usual. I'm sure editors will try to make people look racist, and with my limited to exposure to other cultures (Utah isn't the most diverse place in the world) I would probably act and sound really awkward, especially when placed in awkward, unnatural situations. Such as being on a team of four divided by race competing for a creepy looking immunity idol or flint or a fishing spear. While cameras are rolling. Always skeptical that reality shows are rigged, I'd kiss my chances of winning goodbye. (Since they'd be so high in the first place. ) What PR person is going to let a person from the white team beat out the minority teams? That's not good tv. I'd also feel like I was unfairly expected to represent the white race. Even more that, I'd feel like I was expected to represent how the white race interacts with other races.

Since I'm not on the show though, I can't wait to see all the other people squirm in awkwardness. PR minefields aside, it will be interest to watch and discuss. I predict that they will rise above the predicted pettiness that Burnett is hoping to cash in on.

I can't wait for next season. Survivor: Sexual Orientation. And when that fails to bring people to blows, Burnett will just have to finally start introducing human sacrifice as part of Tribal Council.

Currently Watching The Office - Season Two By Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B.J. Novak see related

No One Wears A Tie At My Office

I have a countdown to when Arrested Development season 3 arrives on DVD. I have yet to miss an episode of Big Brother All Stars. (Talk about opposites on the television quality spectrum!) Sometimes, when I worry that I spend too much time watching tv, I come across a link that proves to me that the world is full of others that make my mere enjoyment of television seem trivial.

Someone has graphed out the colors of clothing worn by Pam and Jim of NBC's The Office. Jim wears light blue 31% of the time. 32% of the ties that Jim wears are dark brown. Pam wears beige ribbed cardigans 14% of the time. Pam wears dark blue cardigans as often as she wears lavender cardigans, which would be 4% of her time at work. 35% of the time, she doesn't wear a cardigan.  I don't remember those episodes.