So, the gym is going okay. We've been working out three times a week, for about 45 minutes. I hallucinated the shadow of a collar bone the other day, nad one of my biggest dreams is to have them, so I got really exited. ^_^;; I don't think it's doing anything to burn fat around my waist, but I'll give it time. If I haven't lost anything by next month I can rub it in my doctor's nose anyway. ^_^;;

So, I guess I got in trouble at work? Someone complained about me, saying I'm slow and that I'm burning out the rest of the staff. Which is utter bullshit. The aide on the floor that's been there the longest is the only one who helps me, and I help her equally, and she thinks that my side is hell as much as I do. So she certainly doesn't complain. Her side is hell, too, and the people with the easy sides are only out for themselves, and take three breaks while the two of us don't get any. How fair is that? But I got spoken to by the big boss, and it was really crushing cause I work my ass off every night. >_<;;

I managed to write a page the other day. ^_^;; Which is def an improvement. It's a complete scene, but I can't post it right away because it actually has a plot point that can't happen in just one scene. It's just a cute little romantic thing, but whatever, it's something.

Lately I've really wanted to rp Quill. I love him soooooo much. I think while I was working at McDonalds and going to school I was seriously going crazy, because he was always with me, and I had conversations with him just to get me through the day. I wouldn't have made it through without him. I used to imagine we were curled up together trying to fall asleep, and it was the only way I got any. The only way he got any, either, and if he didn't sleep neither did I. ^_^;;; But I stupidly let him get all tied up with another person's characters, and she doesn't want to rp them anymore, so I can't really do anything with him on my own. And he's so attached losing those characters would hurt him so badly. He's been through enough, so I don't want to do that to him. Sometimes I think I can't write because it's him I need to work with, but I can't. ;_;

So, I joined a gym with one of my coworkers. It's kind of fun, even though we only used the tread mill and the olypsis(sp?) machine. I really want to go back, I have a goal to be able to jog without getting out of breath, and I'd really, really like to last longer than 3 minutes on the olypsis machine. It was really... weightless feeling. I pushed it to five, but at that point I was dripping sweat. I felt bad to be so out of shape, but I burned about 100 calories in 5 minutes, so I guess that's good? ^_^;; It was more than I burned on the tread mill for 15 minutes. You can bring in headphones and watch tv while you're excersizing too. I'm excited about it, cause my coworker has had success, and I would really like to lose at least 70 pounds. Although my current goal will be fifty. I want to be below 200 again. I haven't been since junior high. >_<;;

As for work, I still hate it. I dread going in. ;_; All my beds are filled with people who take a lot of care, and even the resident that loves me was really mad at me yesterday. But whatever. Im doing the best I can, and she likes to go to bed at 10. I can't put her before the residents that want to be in bed by 8. I already don't take my breaks. What do they expect? A miracle isn't coming from me.

In other news, I was thinking of going back to school. Or at least trying to. This time for the right thing. The local college SNHU offers a major in creative writing. It looks really interesting, but it'll cost 90,000 if I manage to get out of living on the dorm, won't have a good job hanging around the end, and I'm afraid it will have too much focus on journalism and research writing. But it's in Creative Writing. So hopefully it won't be. I need to go talk to them, and I guess we'll see. After all, there's a chance they won't accept me into the school after flunking out of UMass. I guess we'll see.