| will i get a second chance?so i thought about second chances all day.i do believe that people can change and do think every should get a second chances.but then i realized that wasnt the truth, theres 2 people in my life that i wont give another chances to.you can tell me thats not smart to do, but yet when you grew up with all lies, had the one person that you loved so much hurt you so badly and he keeps hurting you still, you will realize you cant give them one.i guess in away, i tried to give them another chance, to have them come clean with me, but no they had to yell at me and make me feel like crap, so thats it.i wont take that from people, ever.the letter still really pisses me off, i want to write back, but whats that going to do?nothing, all they do is try to get people to feel bad for them because everything about them.the hardest thing is, they dont get it!they dont understand why they havnt been apart of my life for the past 8 months, did they really think that i was going to just show up out of the blue, with some one else and have everything be back to normal...cuz that will never happen.their suppose to be my grandparents, why do they treat me like this?i have never been hurt so much by 2 people before in my life and i know i never will be hurt this much.
work pissed me off today.i didnt want to be there at open, but whatever, then mean people came in and wanted me to call my manager at 9...holy hell, its just tanning whatever, deal with it.that lady that was really mean, was made at something so stupid that was beyond anyones control, but since i'm such a nice person and didnt want to deal with her crap, i gave her free minutes.
study group for psycho tomorrow, should be interesting...hopefully i can pass this one and not fail another test.failing would prolly make me even more depressed then what i am now.
i feel as if everyone is going to myspace now....i've had one for awhile, but still dont really know how to use it...oh well...stupid online journals are so confusing....its just amazing how addicting this things really are....everyone changes journals thingys all the time, its kind of funny.
edit:
i'm so burned out...i cant keep going on right now.depression sucks and its taken over my life.i've just reached the point were nothing seems to be making me happy anymore and thats scary...i hate it...going to get help this week finally....the only thing is, i need to make sure i tell them the truth, thats the hard thing... |
