I've come to the conclusion that pacifism just doesn't make any sense.

There are people in this world who are just too ignorant, or self-absorbed, or plain stupid to understand any sort of reason. They don't understand talking, or they just don't care enough about other people to listen.

Those type of people are why fighting HAS to be done sometimes. Sometimes, they only way to get through to someone - to make them realize that you're not going to back down like all the other people have - is to cause them more pain than they've ever been caused before. To make them hurt so badly that it breaks their psyche. MAKES them hear. Makes them realize that they hurt, just the same as everybody else does.

And quite honestly, if you're a pacifist, all you're doing is making the situation worse. If you won't fight back, they think they can step all over you. And they do. And then you say "Well, at least my conscience is clear.." while you're living a life of misery.

But see, I think THAT in itself is wrong. I think that if you don't care enough about yourself to say "Ouch" when someone is stepping on your toes, then you're disrespecting yourself FAR more than if you "stoop to their level" and fight back.

You think you're being "good" or holy or altruistic, but if you're going the holy route... isn't your body supposed to be a temple of God? So in essence, you're refusing to defend the temple of God. Refusing to put up a fight to stop people from misusing it. You following me here? Now, if you're a "holy" type, you've probably read the Bible. So you probably remember the part of the gospel where Jesus comes in, finds people using the temple like a marketplace, and starts yelling and flipping over tables. Sooo, you're all smart folk. I'll let you put those two together. Let me know what you come up with.

Don't pat me on the back, the altruism isn't what makes me fight. It's just that I care more about myself and the ones I love than I do about some jackass who's bent on hurting.

Maybe I even take a bit of pleasure in standing over some guy who thought he was the top dog. Someone who hurts because he can and because he enjoys it, being taken down by someone who fights because he has to, or to protect. I call that justice. And I don't think I'm LESS of a person for feeling that way. The only time I ever "stoop to someone's level" is to make their face easier to punch.

I'm sick of being nagged at for it.

Maybe I really was supposed to be Spider-Man, and Danielle has been right all this time.

I don't think GRCC has classes in superhero.

1-WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Kent City. Ugh.

2-SEX OR ICE-CREAM? I think I've outgrown ice cream.

3-WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? Blue

4-WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? This survey? Merrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

5-WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU WENT OUT TO EAT WITH? Ann. And in about five minutes it will be Ann again.

6-IF YOU WERE A TOY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A Spider-Man action figure.

7-WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON? I've said it before and I'll say it again...

8-WHAT'S YOUR RING TONE? It's on vibrate

9-WHAT DO YOU THINK A TOBLERONE IS? I assume it's chocolate because Sarah Welsh said so.

10-WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? Boxers, socks, jeans and a t-shirt. OooOoOOoOo

11-DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yep.

12-WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO YOU? "Shoot where they're going to be, not where they are."

13-DO YOU OWN A VEHICLE? Yep.

14-WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS? Get rich somehow, continue being rich

15-FAVOURITE FILM? I don't know. Too many to pick from.

16-LAST FILM YOU SAW AT CINEMA? Spider-Man 3

18-DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE? Meh.

19-ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK ANYONE OUT? Nah.

20-DO YOU SLEEP NAKED? On occasion.

21-CHRISTMAS OR EASTER? Christmas.

22-LUST OR LOVE? Love.

23-KISSES OR HUGS? Depends on who it's from.

24-WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Being headbutted in the face by a drunk guy.

25-WORST SOUND? Ann's annoying fucking cat.

26-WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP? Curse the dawn. I like the sound of that.

27-ROLLER COASTER: SCARY OR EXCITING? Meh.

28-HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET THE PHONE RING BEFORE YOU ANSWER IT? It depends on if I want to talk to who's calling or not.

30-IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Neither. The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

31- BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE? Mine? Or somebody else's? I wish somebody intelligent would make a quiz for once.

32-MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? Milk chocolate.

33-DAY OR NIGHT? Night.

34-SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer.

35-CAKE OR PIE? Cake. Unless it's a pie filled with tiny cakes.

36-DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? Ew.

37-SUNRISE OR SUNSET? Sunset.

38-HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE? Several. At once.

39-DO YOU HATE ANYONE? Yep. I've given up on being benevolent.

40-DO YOU BELIEVE IN FIGHTING? Sometimes it has to be done. And I think that to say otherwise is incredibly unrealistic. And I'll kill anyone who disagrees.

41-WHO DO YOU TURN TO FOR ADVICE? I don't ever really ask for it. But I always seem to get assloads of it anyway.

43-WHERE ARE YOUR FAVORITE PLACES TO SHOP? You need money to shop.

44-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WEBSITE? Meh. Facebook? Ooh, Neopets!

45-WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Rich?

46- WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN? You know, I've been asking myself that the WHOLE time I've been taking this stupid quiz.

Yeahhhhhh Monday night.

There's a first for everything...

1. Who was your first prom date?
Cassandra.

2. Who was your first roommate?
Joe. Good times.

3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
I think it was a screwdriver. A drunk person made it, so there was more vodka than orange juice in it.

4. What was your first job?
Burger Kind. Lasted all of three weeks. Haha.

5. What was your first car?
The Cutlass. Still running, but it's getting old.

6. Who was the first person you texted today?
Ann.

7. Who is the first person you thought of this morning?
Myself. Haha. This is a stupid question.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Neva. Biiiiiiiitch.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
Never been on one. I prefer to keep my feet on the ground.

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
I don't even know. I didn't really have to sneak out much.

11. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
Eric Severence. Still friends, but I never see the guy anymore.

12. Where was your first sleep over?
Probably at Eric's.

13. Who was the first person you talked to this morning?
My mom.

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
Some obscure cousin. I was 5.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Wake up? Get out of bed? What do you want from me here?

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
I don't know... Offspring?

17. First tattoo or piercing?
Nada.

18. First foreign country you went to?
Does Canada count?

19. First crush?
Meghan Fish. Haha. Yeahhhhhhh 1st grade.

20. First TRUE love?
Every love I've ever had has been different. I don't suppose I'll know what true love is for me until I get married.

21. When was your first detention?
As soon as we were old enough to get detention.

22. What was the first movie you ever saw?
Gee, let me think back to when I was 2 years old... dumbass. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU EVER SAW?

23. What was the first state you lived in?
Michigan.

24. Who was the first person to really break your heart?
I don't think it can be done. I'm too jaded.

25. Who will be the first to repost this?
Nobody, because nobody ever updates their fucking Xanga anymore.

I'm so against the mainstream.

And I'm freaking out the conformists with my individuality.

Nah, not really. I just noticed that while it was cool to update Xanga, I never did. Now apparently it's going out of style, and I'm doing it again. That's me being fashion-conscious, people.

Anyway, the Menard's thing is going pretty well. I'm not thrilled to be back in retail, but hell, they pay me extra to work weekends, so I'll take it. Although I'm new, so most of my conversations with customers go like this...

Customer: "Hey, where is (insert something stupid that OBVIOUSLY isn't in Hardware, where I work... drywall... flooring... toilets... you get the picture)?"

Me: "Uhhhhhhhhhh..."

<_<

>_>

>_<

"Well, since my ENTIRE DEPARTMENT is apparently on lunch break, I'll just take you to something that looks kind of like what you're talking about."

Customer : "..."

Me: " ^_^ "

Yeah, it's going well. Met a few people that Joe told me to look for. Met a few people that Joe told me to NOT look for. They found me anyway. I'm a people person, what can I say? Although Joe is way nicer than I am, so I may end up telling said people "I don't really like you. In fact I think you're kind of a useless fuck. So please go the hell away."

I'm so nice.

Anyway, there's apparently a warrant out for my arrest since I still have one more fine to pay... as long as I don't get pulled over for a few weeks, I should be fine.

Wish me luck.

Climbing out of this hole...

So I started at Menard's today.... went in for orientation and watched the obligatory "Don't be a dumbass" training video. Then it was pretty much "Ok here's a vest annnnnd GO", and suddenly I was on my own, trying to sell stuff even though I didn't know where anything was. Anyway, I work 28 hours over the next three days, and 44 next week... which means I am going to be out of the house for an extended period of time, which thrills me. I'll probably be moving back out around August, if all goes well. And it WILL.

Other than that, life is uneventful. Other than the fact that a girl I used to write to in Oregon in middle school is now a porn star.