Ben signed with MNU today, I'm glad for him.....it's really cool he is getting to do something I have always wanted to do, play college football.
To the friends I have made through football:
The following has nothing to do with you guys, we were a family, I'm not saying we all liked each other, but we shared a common desire and goal, which bonded us like a family. A few of you were even like brothers to me, so I just want any teamates reading this to know it is not about them.
Looking back football was hands down the worst choice in my life. I should have never quit golf (something I was good at) and I should've not let my parents pressure me into football, which was against what I wanted which was hockey. The major lesson learned from all of this is that you cannot hold people to thier word because they will just shirk it off. So what I guess I learned is to stop letting people step over me and maybe stop going with the flow so much. I also now know what it truely feels like to be stabbed in the back. What I'm talking about is the 85% off season conditioning requirement, which I met and others that started over me and played over me did not. The varsity coaching staff is made up of morons, when you can explain how a team goes from 7-2 to 2-7 in two years, I'm ready to hear that explanation. The coaching staff was cowardly, if you were never going to play me than why didn't you just cut me? Instead you showed me as #2 in line through the whole season on the depth chart. I spent the whole year watching people you say I was better than to my face play in my spot. And lastly I might as well just say it, fuck you Coach Adams, seriously,
FUCK YOU COACH ADAMS.
You were an asshole to me from the team camp sophomore year until I turned in my equipment for the last time. You belittled me in front of the team, made a joke out of me and humiliated me in front of just about the entire school. I bit my lip and did what you told me to do hoping that I would still get some real playing time. You sure are a big person, never looking me in the eyes during our games as I wasted away on the sidelines. Everytime you turned around for the game to look for a player to go in and do that job we had practiced every day, I made sure I was right there, right behind you, so hopefully I was the first one you saw so I could get some playing time. And you never looked me in the eye.
Coward
Some how, though, I just have this overwhelming sense of comfort that even though you did everything you could to demoralize me and discourage me, I never gave up or gave in to you. Have a nice life, Coach Adams being an Elementary PE Teacher. And if I ever see you again, I dare you to look me in the eyes and say anything, cause I'm betting you don't have the strength to do that.
To the rest of the coaching staff:
Had I known football was going to end like this I would've have told you guys to go fuck yourselves on meet the coaches night.
Thank you for wasting a substantial part of four years of my life. Thank you for telling me I am no good and telling others I am worth nothing. You have given me the motivation to prove you and the ones that think like you wrong. I'm gonna be more of a success than any of you, and you will know about it. And once you know about what I have become ten or twenty years from now, you will know you were wrong about me.
Lyrics from a song I like:
NINE INCH NAILS
"Hurt"
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way...
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