Currently Playing The Young and Hopeless By Good Charlotte Hold On see related

Have you ever just felt completely alone? I lost my best friend because I told her I was worried about her and now I'm a "slut". Oh yea my other friend and not just a friend, a best friend since 6th grade won't even look at me anymore. She looks through me. She moved everyone at our lunch table to a new one away from me and when I walk by they all just stare at me. What the fuck did I do? Why does everyone have to hate me? I've been crying all night cuz I want to get the fuck out of school. I hate all these people around me. I mean most of the time I fucking hate myself enough y the fuck do other people have to make it worse. I do hate myself. Idk if its been finals but I've been stressing so fucking bad and the food has just been piling in. I put the scale away. Right now I'm absolutly petrified of it. Fuck ok then last night my BEST GUY FRIEND Bobby came over to study. And yea if any of u knew my old s/ns b4 they got found u might remember him. I liked him a lot and I just kinda put it behind me cuz I knew we could never be nething more. But then last night I had to fight to get him out of my pants. And its not just that he was playing with my hair, rubbing my back, kissing my finger tips. But then he's kinda seeing this other girl. I wanna just cry. Oh wait thats what I've been doing all night. Idk what to do bout nething in my life. Like with the friends fuck em I guess I mean I can be alone all summer no big. Then Bobby idk all my feelings for him came rushing back but what if this just blows up in my face again and tears me apart (again) But then a new breakthrough with him like last time he wouldn't show any feelings for me at school but like today we were sitting watching a movie with a bunch of people and he comes up behind me and starts playing with my hair and like a couple of guys were teasing him and he didn't even care. And he tells me he loves me and we were leaving the parking lot at the same time and he blew me a kiss out his window. But he's never kissed me, well a long time ago but yea that was then. Ugh ok rambling. But yea this summer I'm gonna be a rockstar. I need to get back on track. Just took sum laxies. I figure I should do a fast tomorrow. Fast of neg cals Sat then maybe liquid fast Sunday to try to flush my system so I can start off good monday. Plus then I can start running again. Fuck yea I have TIME! LoL! Well sry this is so long its just I've got a lot on my mind and no one to say it too. I honestly love all u guys! U make me strong! Ana is a Goddess! *muahz*

                                                                       LiLy