The first word that I wanted to write was, So. Ever since school ended I haven't missed it much. Everything ended really fast and it was not as climatic as I thought it would be. By the end of school, my senior year I was so tired of everything. I was tired of everyone and I can even go as far as saying I was tired of myself. My friends were/slipped right through my fingers like water. We were once a big pool, all of us, and then something went wrong and thing fell apart. Andrea went a little crazy and left us, she didn't say much. Then she had some drama with Megan, which ended in tears. Then I got caught somewhere in there and we drifted. It's really sad how everything happened. I thought senior would be better but I don't regret it. I had a blast. I wish everyone well, I know some of us will do great things. Goodbye high school. I will miss a lot of people. But I know that once the year starts everyone kinda forgets about the past and everyone moves on. <3

This summer I have began working at this restaurant called Le Peep Grill in Plano. I'm a host which means I sit people and I started working there at the end of June. It's not a glamorous job and it doesn't pay well but any little bit counts for my college expenses. I hate the food industry. People get so nasty when they have to wait on food or sitting. I hate it, they look at me like I'm retarded and I get all nervous when people who thing they're so much better than me want to sit at another table, when they clearly know that we don't have much room. But its ok, only about 3 weeks till I'm done.

This summer I also attended Orientation at Texas Tech. I guess you could say I feel in love with Tech once I was there. Sure Lubbock isn't the biggest party city, or should I say hick town, in Texas but it does have its perks. Did I mention it smells like cow poop in the morning. I guess the good thing about living there will be that the air is a little cleaner. Living on campus will be amazing though. Everything is so big, there is so much to do, so much to see, so much to experience. I think I made a good choice by going there. I feel like people there are looking out for my best interest. I'm scared though, scared of failure. "What you think, you become." I think I will be an amazing violinist. Thats my attitude so far. I think the only thing I can do is meet people, make friends, live my life, I almost put "live safely" but as i thought about it, those who always live "safely" never get anywhere in life. I think i'll live to the fullest, maybe a little wild and crazy. hey, its my college years, its my life :) Everything will be amazing. I can't wait. August 17, 2008 my new life begins.

August Seventeenth Two Thousand Eight. That is my reason for the deletion of my facebook and myspace. I want to start completely over. I want a new me. I'm changing my style, changing my hair, changing everything to what I want to be. The chains that tie me down are beginning to weaken. I can feel them breaking. I will be who I want to be. I will dress the way I want to dress, and I will have my hair the way I want it. I'll make a new me from everything and anything that life has thrown at me. People have said that I'm trying to forget my past but I am not. I'm only using it to my advantage because the past is never forgotten. I'm still that same kid from Mexico who was running around dusty streets. I'm that Kid who didn't know English in second grade. I'm that kid that plays the violin. I'm that kid that dyed his hair blonde. I'm that gay kid. I'm that kid that has deathly blonde moments. I'm that kid that likes guys he could never have. I'm that bitchy kid. I'm that nice guy. I'm still José and I'm still Joe. But from that I have a new concoction up my sleeves. I want to go to Lubbock like a brand new shoe hott from Vietnam or where ever they make the shoes. I don't want anyone to know anything about who I was or who I am. I want to be a mystery. I want a clean slate. and so on August Seventeenth Two Thousand Eight, I will go go go far far far and no longer will I be José or Joe, but will be Joseph.

Hello, my name is Joseph.

Today was Sunita's graduation party at this one restaurant. It was great! The food was awesome except it was kinda hard serving our selfs since they brought out the food in these huge plates, with some tiny spoons to serve ourselves pasta. The waiter was kinda creepy too. But anyway, I had a great time having fun and laughing. Near the end of the party I made a complete ass of myself. As one of Sunitas friends was leaving, she walks towards the side of the table i was sitting on, next to Sunita's sister. So she stands over Sunita's sister and I notice that she extends her arm s out and i quickly extend my arm out and grab her hand. Her face turns into this weird shocked face because she wasn't going to shake my hand like i thought, but instead she was going to extend her arms out and hug Sunita's sister who, once again, was sitting next to me. I felt so freaking retarded. I quickly took my arm back and covered my face because I couldn't just play it off, I mean that would be even worse. So I start laughing histerically as I covered my face with my shaking hands feeling oh so very akward and stupid. I mean, thats even worse than when you wave at someone who is waving at someone behind you. It was so embarrasing. The other girl said it was ok not to worry about it, but i just told her to leave and not to look at me. So embarrasing. Overall it was fun and I'm glad I went and had a great time :)

-Joseph