| | So, like I haven't written anything on here in forever, but that's because a lot has been going on. First Bogar and I were having a lot of problems. He was getting mean and I just wasn't happy any more. So I moved out in Sept. and we were going to try to fix things. Well, he just started to get meaner about everything. So I broke up with him. About a month later I started kinda dating someone else and well when Bogar found out he came over and basically broke every single thing in my house. Needless to say he spent the weekend in jail. SO the last few months I've been dating this guy. He's the nicest guy and I have a lot of feelings for him. Only he's married and has kids in Mexico. I don't feel to bad though because it's more of just a friendship with benefits situation. Nothing more, because I know he has a family but at the same time easy for me because I don't have to worry about any kind of long term commitment or anything. But then a few weeks ago I started to feel really sick. So I went to the Doctors, and guess what. I'M PREGNANT. Which sux because I was getting a shot once a month t make sure I didn't get pregnant. Well they think what happened was because I was on anti-biotics for strepp throat. Now not only do I have to deal with being pregnant, but there are some side effects that could happen for the baby. Nothing to serious though. But the guys married so I told him that I understood he had a family already and was going home before I got pregnant and that me being pregnant didn't change a thing. But that he was going to have to decide if he wanted to be involved or not. Well, he decided that it would be easier for him if he just didn't know anything. Yeah, that's nice but I understand that it's because he doesn't want to ruin his family. I think it just sux for me because this is the last baby I get to have and how many people are there in this world that are going to want too get involved in any kind of long term relationship with a 21 year old who already has 3 babies and also someone who they'll never be able to have their own baby with. And how am I going to explain not only to the baby but the other kids what happened? That I slept with and got pregnant by a guy who was married and already had kids? This sux and while I'm not angry at the guy because I can understand his point of view, I can't help but think how nice it must be to get to go home to your family and pretend like nothing ever happened while I get stuck here by myself taking care of everthing. But then Again he'll have to be the one wondering everday for the rest of his life about the baby he'll never know. |
| | Posted 3/24/2004 6:59 PM - 1 view - 1 comments
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