I dont really ever write anything on here anymore, not because I dont have anything to say, but because the audience here isnt the same. 

So on April 29, 2006 I will have been romantically involved with Steph for 6 months.  Its fucking insane to think that some girl is actually crazy enough to want to have her name associated with mine in any sort of romantic or biblical sense aside from the accidental one night stand here and there. 

Im pretty greatful that Ive made it this far, but Im at a crossroads.  I dont know where I should go now, I can go straight ahead and keep it going with her, or I can let all the little things about her that do drive me nuts take over and make a turn down the unknown road.  Some nights I sit here and think that I would be lost on the latter of the two roads and some nights I would rather be lost than be stuck going straight ahead. 

Lately Ive been having more and more of the nights I want to be lost, free but lost.  Lost doesnt seem so bad sometimes.  At least when youre lost, anywhere you go can have a new adventure.  When youre lost you can ask for help, when youre lost you can do nothing.  Sometimes I think too much, I know this. The same routine, especially when you really do care and trying doesnt seem to warrant any reward, its hard to want to keep going the same direction.  In that aspect Im lost as well, but bound. 

So which is the lesser of two evils, Lost and Free, or Lost and Bound.  It seems alot easier when its put that way, but someone's feelings will get hurt if I make one of those decisions.  Im thinking that for once, it shouldnt be me.  I think I need to be more selfish.