| America the AmbivalentI don't much care for political talk show hosts. The inherent problem that often comes with having your own show is that you get to project that your ideas are infallible. That being said, I recently read an article written for CNN by Glenn Beck, a renowned conservative radio host. He tried to define a conservative by making a list of core values, and I have to admit that I felt he was right on the money with many of them. Here's the link: http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/06/25/beck.conservatives/index.html?iref=newssearch That got me on track to pondering something I've pondered before: there is no agreement on what the United States as a nation is. You ask some people to describe America, and they'll describe people from hundreds of cultures cheerily working together as one in the name of pragmatism and a better life (imagery: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8H5263jCGg). Others will describe a nation of European settlers who came to a new land (nevermind the natives we pushed out), tamed the wilderness, and created a suburban paradise where a better life meant more goods, a well-manicured lawn, and no "unpleasant surprises" (imagery: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oEUvP7tAi4). Still others see America only as an entire nation, a faceless entity with a mighty miltary and global influence whose role it is to keep the world from spiralling hopelessly into chaos (imagery: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq2_YKQGE_U&feature=related). Maybe all of these people are right; maybe none of them. The point is that no one agrees on what America is or what it should be, so I decided to itemize my hopes for my homeland in a segment I call -- dum da-da-dum -- ==== MY AMERICA ==== 1) In my America, parents, and no one but parents, are responsible for their own damn kids. If a 14-year-old robs a drug store with a gun on a Wednesday afternoon and gets shot, it's not the school's fault for his truancy; it's not the clerk's fault for keeping his own gun behind the counter; and it's not society's fault for misunderstanding the boy. The kid was an idiot, and his no-good parents need to learn to act more mature than him. Furthermore, kids learn how to fail, and they learn how to learn and bounce back from a bad experience. 2) In my America, gun laws vary from county to county. Farmers need rifles because the police are 30 minutes away; no one in a city should need more than a pistol if the police are doing their job. Gun registration requires a 2-week background check and a 3-hour seminar on proper handling. People caught with an unregistered firearm receive an automatic prison sentence. 3) In my America, public education is provided until age 18 but not required beyond age 13. People who don't understand why their tax dollars fund others' kids simply have to wait until their cars are broken into by an illerate drop-out. Kids who bitch about the "un-necessity" of school can go ahead and leave until they realize they can't get a job that pays more than $20,000 a year. That'll also leave the classrooms for serious students and much happier educators who don't have to play warden to future convicts. 4) In my America, abortion is illegal except in special cases such as rape, but stem cell research is legal. A woman's body is no longer her own when another life grows inside, and both the parents' irresponsibility can't be wiped clean by killing a human life, no matter how many cells it has. Let the kid decide if his/her life is worth living; that's not your choice. There is no reason, however, that stem cells cannot be created and destroyed in vitro; an embryo cannot fully develop in a test tube, so it has no chance at life unless it's injected into a uterus. 5) In my America, immigration is a streamlined process where the basic requirements are: no previous felonies, a passing score on a very basic English test for people over 18, and a 2-hour cultural adjustment seminar that covers topics such as civil rights, saving and financing, and uniquely American laws. Quotas are only set to ensure cultural assimilation (i.e. New Mexico doesn't become Mexico), but ALL cultures are equally appreciated. All citizens recognize their immigrant heritage and openly welcome different ways of doing things. Illegal immigrants are fined and deported immediately. Businesses found to hire illegal immigrants will first be fined heavily; repeat offenses will result in loss of the business license. 6) In my America, racism is dated, and people that either discriminate or, conversely, "play the race card" are ostracized. Affirmative action is realized to be just a form of reverse discrimination as it does not award based on economic status but simply skin color. There are plenty of poor, inner-city white kids, too. Everyone has circumstances above which they must rise, but merit must be the means by which they succeed. 7) In my America, anyone can marry anyone they want, regardless of whether you're male, female, shemale, gay, straight, bi, bi-curious, or if it was just that one time when you and your best friend were both really drunk. Marriage is defined simply as the union of two people who genuinely love each other. I don't know why it matters who's sticking what in where in the honeymoon suite, and I really don't know why God would be so offended at the idea of two individuals caring deeply for each other. And frankly, do what feels good as long as you're not hurting other people. Churches don't have to allow the weddings in their buildings; a judge is equally capable of marrying people. 8) In my America, people whose lawsuits are deemed frivolous must pay for all court fees incurred by both parties as well as a penalizing fine. Judges who award money in frivolous lawsuits are sharply reprimanded by higher courts, and the cases are overturned. 9) In my America, advertising is kept strictly within stores, malls, restaurants, the highway, and all forms of media. People boycott buildings and parks that bear company names, people that get paid for ads on their cars and clothes are publicly mocked, and sportscasters will stop reviewing the "Pepsi Play of the Day". 10) In my America, the government does as little as possible to interfere in the lives of Americans, for better or for worse. Taxes are lower, but Congress also doesn't bail out people who've been living above their means for several months. Can't afford that house anymore? Tough shit; you should've bought a cheaper one and saved your paychecks. 11) In my America, parents don't medicate their kids and themselves for every conceivable ailment. Just because a child doesn't want to sit at a desk for seven hours straight doesn't mean he's defective; he might just not be made for that kind of work, or -- more likely -- he has no self-discipline. Don't feed him a pill; teach him to work through his behavioral difficulties. Cocaine might give you an energy boost, but does that mean we're going to start prescribing it for people with "mattress hyper-adhesion disorder" (a.k.a. having trouble getting up in the morning)? Will brown eyes become a disorder if people start preferring blue eyes? Furthermore, a disease is defined as an illness that results when a foreign pathogen invades the body. The following things are NOT diseases: depression, alcoholism, hyperactiveness, social anxiety, and post-traumatic stress. 12) In my America, citizens are pushing for renewable energies not only because we remain at the mercy of OPEC but because we're slowly, apathetically killing ourselves. People need to stop bitching about gas prices and realize that we're only now paying a rather large debt that we owe to the world after years of exploiting countries and the environment in the name of our economy. Nuclear energy, both fission and fusion, now comprises more of our output than fossil fuels because it has always been safer and less hazardous to the environment. Recycling is now mandatory. You DO NOT have the right to your car, nor do you have the right to pile up garbage because you're too lazy to sort and recycle your own filth. 13) In my America, the government works to establish good relations with other countries and to further the people's interests, but not at the expense of other peoples. We have a strong military and are willing to use it, but we don't use it for anything less than to protect lives -- not our interests or our economy. We are always willing to talk to our enemies, but we don't have to be willing to negotiate. Nuclear weapons are still a sad necessity to maintain deterrence, but biological weapons are strictly outlawed due to their inhuman methods of killing and the real possibility of spreading disease throughout the world. 14) In my America, the embargo on Cuba has been lifted, but certain sanctions still apply. You do not influence fundamental change in a society by causing them hardship; everyone knows that the only people hurt by that policy are average citizens. Besides, we hypocritically have strong relations with several countries whose civil and human rights records are far worse. 15) Most importantly, in my America, citizens will always have freedom: the freedom to speak, to worship, to not worship, to love, to hate, to succeed, to fail, and to live in the way they see fit. I think most people crassly use the word "freedom" as a buzz word without grasping its full meaning. Freedom is being able to sit in an audience while some KKK jackass makes the most inflammatory speech you've ever heard and allowing him to do so. Freedom is the pride you feel when you start your own company, but it's also the despair you feel when that company goes bankrupt. Freedom is the choice to read over these ideals and follow their philosophy, or to disregard them and call me a fool. It's a neutral word, really, promising only that whatever happens to you is your responsibility and yours alone. It's almost scary, but there's a comfort that comes from knowing that you are truly the master of your own destiny. That's what America has always been, and, God willing, that's what it always will be. Agree? Disagree? Well, if you're reading this, you probably have a blog of your own, so go nuts. It's a free country, after all. |
