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Hypercane
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Name: Frodo
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 12/14/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: As of right now? Nothing interests me.
Expertise: Being my odd little self.
Occupation: Research and development
Industry: Research
Message: message me
AIM:  Pedopantalones
Member Since:
10/5/2003
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| Back from the graveThe revolution has begun.......... Facebook will die. | | |
| Well, this is it. Most likely my last entry for a long time,
because I don't know how much xangaing I'll be doing over the next
couple years.
Couple quick things, because I have absolutely no time.
Katie came friday night, left Sunday morning. Friday night at
Denny's, we discovered that 3-3=12, and that Black+Asian=Hispanic,
which was awesome. We went to a Padres game saturday night with
Ryan and Tyler and Ashley. Padres won in a dramatic fashion,
which was awesome. They had fireworks, which had a Mexican theme
and were great. Ryan Klesko shook his butt at us, and Kansas City
gave up a few runs in a game almost totally unrelated to ours to give
us the win.
Gave a talk in church on sunday and did an ok job. Offically
became a missionary on sunday night, and spent today packing and
getting ready to leave. Ryan, Tyler, TLL, Leehza, Ashley, and
Lesley came over for a little while, and we enjoyed some last moments
together. Tyler gave me all his lyrics to Dynamite Bill...
speaking of which... I must write in his yearbook.
stanthereindeer@yahoo.com is the email address that I'm using
now. Won't check it or respond until August or so, so if you
don't get a reply for a while, don't worry.
Thanks for reading this ya guys. Hopefully xanga is still alive
when I get back. If not... it's not. Check back here in
September. If nothing's here by the end of September, this'll be
dead until July of 2007. Or so.
See ya guys soon. Email me, and you'll get emailed back.
Write me, and you'll get a response. Hope everyone stays safe and
happy.
Favorite song: Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
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| Being left by someone is a lot tougher than leaving someone.
This I just discovered today, as I walked away from Suki as she entered
the security screening area. I just couldn't handle watching her
disappear. We had such a good time, and to not see her for
another two years is gonna suck. We had a great time.
It was her four day summer vacation while she was out here. Came
between school and root canals... which'll happen in... 7 hours?
Yeah. Anyway, to hear the other side of the story, you can most
likely go to Zusymoose to find it. I'm just gonna briefly go over
some stuff.
Friday night/Saturday morning she arrives at 1:07. Or so I
think. So I drive really fast to go pick her up because I'm late,
and I park at the wrong terminal and run really far, only to wait for
15 minutes because, like me, she is the last one off the plane.
First thing I said was, "You look tired." Good one Karl.
She did though.
Saturday everyone was up early, and had no clue what to do, so we built
an ugly puzzle and listened to jackhammers in the back yard as it was
getting destroyed. Then we went to my piano recital, which I
ruled at. I got nervous around song 7, and Suki randomly felt
nervous and said.... are you getting nervous? Right when I
started. Crazy. Stuff like that happened the whole entire
trip nonstop.
In case you guys don't know, we're spiritual twins. That's the
best way to describe it. Haven't spent much time together, but
still. It's crazy. We think, act, react, and feel the exact
same. It's the coolest thing in the world. Just trust me on
this one. Twins. Identical spiritual twins.
We went to Souplantation with the family and lovely grandma. I
saw Mr. Thomas there, which was really cool. He was there with
his fiance, ex wife, and kid. Doing just fine, he is. After
that, and me winning two free Snapples, we went to see Star Wars.
Which I quoted for the entire rest of the trip.
Sunday was pretty cool. At church I didn't have to play the
organ, because I'm done doing that. Got up at 9:40 to go to
church. First time in a long time, and last time in a long time
that I'll get to do that. Taught my last sunday school
class. Everyone there thought she was my girlfriend. In
fact, everybody thought that.... period. Sure, we don't look
related, and we're around the same age, and have a great time together,
and are exactly the same. But that's my half cousin right
there.
After church, we were doing a bunch of stuff. We had lunch with
the missionaries, and then went down to visit some of her family
friends down in Chula Vista. Hung out there and talked for a long
time. Twas a family with EIGHT kids, and we hung with the two
oldest. Dianna was 18, and Danny was... 17? Danny was
great. Imagine complete and total Karl interests, mixed with
Tyler's mannerisms. I laughed hard. A lot. Coming
back from there early in the morning.. 12:30ish, we were going north on
the 15, and there was dead silence in the car for at least a minute or
so. We'd been talking for 10 straight hours. So at least a
minute of silence goes by, and I decide that's enough silence. I
open my mouth to talk, and it make a funny noise that an opening mouth
makes. And then I thought... whoa... that sounded like it...
echoed. I look over, and sure enough, Suki and I had opened our
mouths at the same exact millisecond, after a minute and a half to say
something.
....
CRAZY. We're the same.
Then I stop by the office, because Alex was there. He had gone
straight from church to Disneyland to work and needed a break. He
came after us with a sword because noone in their right minds would
ring the doorbell at 12:30AM. We talked for an hour and a
half. Then got back home and ate chimichangas at 2:30.
Stayed awake until 5 or so, just laying on the couch talkin. Got
up at 11. We got 6 hours of off and on ungood sleep. So
Monday we were outta it.
Can't really remember what we did monday. I remember that we hung
with Ryan and Tyler. Ranch 99 was closed, so we went to Mt.
Soledad, and then the institute, and then the beach, and then home
around 12:30 at night. Oh. We went to the office and ate
chinese food and hung out there. Did something else too, I'm sure.
Tuesday was cool. Neither (pronounced nEYEther by her) her nor I
have any initiative or imagination for cool places to go and hang
out. After running around and doing a couple errands that needed
doing, she and I went down to Point Loma to the Cabrillo National
Monument and the tide pools. Spent about an hour down at the
tidepools I think. Not looking at creatures, but hangin at that
amazingly beautiful spot. Then we went up to the lighthouse, and
then went to the temple to see that and spend time there. Then we
had dinner with dad's missionaries at his institute, and went off to a
softball game of mine... which turned out to be forfeited by the other
team.
So then we went down to Chula Vista again, but not before I got to talk
to Andi for the first time! Which was interesting and exciting
and random. My slow degredation of intellect over the past few
weeks made me sound like a bumbling idiot though, I believe.
Though... I do that all the time, so I don't know why I should be
complaining about that... *shrugs and shakes head* I don't
know. Anyway, we went down there and had a great time playing
Egyptian Ratscrew and Go Fish. Suki and I had really confusing
and eencrypted conversations that noone was able to figure out... but
we were. WHY? BECAUSE WE'RE THE SAME. Wait... did I
ever mention that we're the same? Hmmm... maybe I have.
Umm... differences besides our appearance and bodies (though we're both
amazingly beautiful). She's not big into sports or any game that
has to do with balls, which could be because of the lack of
oppurtunity. She doesn't like to wear hats. She types a
good 30 words a minute faster than I do. Ummm... I'll come up
with something else, I'm pretty sure. Either I will, or she will.
Anyway, so we go out to Denny's until 2, and get back at 2:30.
Woke up today (it's 1:21AM on thursday, but that's still wednesday, we
decided) around 9. Played Egyptian Ratscrew. We slapped
pairs, sandwiches, 10s, and anything that adds up to 10s. I beat
her. Now.... she never loses here. But she's encountered
some competition in Karl here. And I know if I don't mention it
here, it'll get commented on. She had beaten me the previous
three times. So I was one for four. BUT. For someone
who rarely plays to do that good against someone nearly invincible in
that game is amazing. And a win's a win.
So we went to get sandwiches, mosied over to the office, then the
house, then the airport. Took our sweet time. I parked in
the wrong parking lot for a second time. We finished off the roll
of film. Didn't occur to me what I had walked away from until I
turned back and she wasn't there. I just couldn't handle standing
there and watching her disappear. Cried all the way home, I
did. We had such a great time. Such a great time.
Even though we couldn't think of anything that would be fun to do.
So that left me in an interesting mood. Not happy, that's for
sure. My mind is gone. I don't know what's happening.
My feelings are missing too. There's a big shield there.
Can't say I like it too much, either. In five days, I'm
leaving. Apparently this hasn't occurred to me yet. Ever
since the month of badness, I haven't been the same. Though this
has just gotten worse. I don't like it. I blow things off
way too easily. Though this has really helped when faced with
tough things, like getting dumped, losing friends, losing Glenn, and
leaving for two years not to be seen or heard from. It bugs
me. I want to feel. Of course, this can lead to more bad
things than good, so I guess I shouldn't complain. I think if I
really felt what was happening, I would explode.
Grandma came over to stop by for whatever reason. She told me
about the book she gave me (which I never heard of before in my life),
and how I forgot about it because I couldn't find it in my room.
Is it wrong if I don't care if she or Glenn lives or dies? I
think so. They're family, I'm supposed to love them, and dislike
what they choose. But like I said already, you only get out of me
what you put in to me. I hate that. So grandma doesn't like
me, I don't care about her. Glenn decides to show up whenever he
can mooch off of us and take advantage of us, he should go away.
All he causes is pain to us. Now, if he stopped causing us pain,
then that'd be way awesome. But no. I don't care. If
someone makes my unhappy, I can cut them loose. Shouldn't be that
way.
I've concluded that I'm crazy. I was thinking that everyone
around me was crazy, but that's like driving south on northbound lanes,
and accusing everyone else of going the wrong way. Of course I
think I'm the one who's right and has common sense. But that's
not shared by anyone else. Except Suki. And maybe
Ryan. And maybe mom and Diane. But that's it. So I
guess I mean crazy as in... not normal. Because normal is crazy.
I actually do think I'm a little odd though. Effects of early
childhood I guess. People shouldn't be able to emotionally tune
out all these huge things, and people shouldn't be able to just think
of a brother and grandma who aren't THAT BAD, and let them go with no
feeling. That's just not what should happen.
I only really get pissed off at Glenn because he has so much and throws
it away. I look at what Suki has had to put up with at one point
or another. I REALLY look at what Ashley's had to put up with for
her whole life, and then I look at Glenn. He says that my parents
have ruined his life by telling him that he has to go to church and not
do drugs. Mom and dad have put an incredible amount of time,
effort, feeling, money, and love into that child. I remember one
time, if we didn't have a signature on some paper in the next 30
minutes, we would have lost our house. Why? Because mom and
dad wanted Glenn to be all right, and he was in a facility that cost
thousands of dollars a day of money that we didn't have. And now
he's thrown it back in their faces. Everything he's been
given. Just... tossed right back with his lies and his
manipulating and his ingratitude and his pride. He has so
much. He has no clue how lucky he is to have what he has.
He has parents who actually love him and want him to have a great life
and to succeed. He has grandparents who are willing to raise him
themselves. He's naturally the nicest person I know of.
Apparently we've ruined his life.
Fuck him.
Whoa there Karl, you're leaving for a mission in less than a week. Gotta take care of that. Anger.
Ummm.... I'm really tired right now, so I'm gonna wrap this up here.
I got in a rundown at my softball game tonight, but got out of
it. It was my last softball game before I left, and we destroyed
the other team. They were jerks. We ruled. My scrape
on my elbow is back. It never let, but it's back, and there's one
just as bad on the same exact spot on the other elbow.
Last thing, which I forgot. The Angry Jack. I won the last
game of Egyptian War because I had the Angry Jack. He's the Jack
of Spades. And in every single card deck I have, whether it's
standard or odd random pictures, the Angry Jack is always angry.
I will cherish the Angry Jack forever for my victory.
Song of the past week and a half: Pinback -... Umm... pick something. June, Penelope, Non Photo Blue, or Sender.
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| I feel obligated to update here. Don't know why, though.
Brian got his wisdom teeth out. We must hang out.
Time's winding down. Things are coming to an end. I still
haven't gone out and bought all the clothes and schtuff I need to buy.
My tooth hurts when I drink something even remotely cool or warm.
That's bad. I have an appointment with the dentist on the
first. It may need a crown. There was a crack in it when he
operated on it, and he said that it could get worse, but wasn't bad at
the time. I think it's bad now. Best take care of that
stuff before I leave.
I'm so glad I'm staying in this country.
My stomach has been pissed off at me lately. I think I've
actually been a little bit sick. Nose running more than usual,
voice more nasal than usual, throat more sore than usual, diahrrea
worse than usual. I wish I wasn't sick all the time. It's
kind of depressing.
Been hanging out with Goldar and Boots and Ashley a lot. That's been really fun.
My dad is absurd.
I'm glad I'm getting out of the house for a while. It'll be a
nice breath of fresh air. Sucks for my mom though. I got
annoyed and in a bad mood today. And in my house, I have to be
absolutely perfect and 100% happy all the time or else my mom explodes
in sorrow. It'll be good to get away from that pressure for a
while.
Last day of work'll be Tuesday. I'm gonna miss that. All those people are my friends there.
I'm tired of coimplaining about grandma and glenn, so I won't. They continue to be them.
If there was ever a Star Wars character that would represent me, it
would have to be Anakin. I don't think that anybody really
realizes how much the two of us have in common.
Right now I don't have too many thoughts. My mind has left.
This might be because school's out. This may also be because
there's too much that's happening, and too much to think about.
I'm spending time with the family even when I don't want to.
Don't wanna regret anything when I can't be here. I just won in
Skip Bo twice. While we were playing Skip Bo, mom played some
song that sounded painful. I listened to about two seconds and
thought... no.... it can't be.
"Who is this?"
"Gwen Stefani," my sister replies.
CRAP. I wish she had disappeared form the face of the earth around... 1996. Then this world could be a happy place.
So we skip to the next song, and I hear the music that I've been
craving for a long time. All the current music that I have was
just missing something...
Song of the Day: Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
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| Things are getting more and more confusing.
I think it's finally starting to hit me that.... in three weeks, I'm
not gonna be typing at my computer for a long long time. Or
waking up at 12 and stumbling out of my really loud and shaky bed to go
eat some scrambled eggs that've been on the stove for a couple
hours. It's weird.
Doesn't seem like it's happening too soon or not soon enough. But juuussssssst right.
Suki is coming out to visit! Katie is coming out to visit!
Not at the same time, but all in that last week and a half before I
escape society. I'm thrilled about 'em both. Both are
coming out at rather inconvenient times. Suki's coming out for
four days between classes and root canals. Katie's coming out for
a weekend because she needs to be back at school on Monday.
Kinda tough to describe things there. It's kinda weird to think
that people care enough about me to put the effort and time and
inconvenience and funding it takes to come out and visit before I
disappear. It's a mix of gratitude, humility, excitement and COOL.
I've cut back on the caring about my brother and grandma. First,
on Tuesday, my brother is talking to my mom on the phone and cusses her
out and tells her how horrible she is and how she's ruined his life and
blah blah blah. Then on wednesday night, he calls up and asks for
me. "Hey Karl, is the Star Wars Premier tomorrow?" I told
him yes, and then he asks for mom. He proceeds to
apologize. My first thought was that he was doing it solely for
the purpose of going to see Star Wars, and that was a big part of the
TIMING of his call. He wanted to go. My mom loves him and
cares about him too much to say no. He goes with us.
Deep down, Glenn didn't mean what he told my mom. He doesn't want
mom or dad to like him, though, because he hates himself... and doesn't
want other people to like him. Something like that. Nobody
who really matters, anyway. It's weird.
So on friday, I have to take this jerk to his school. I'm 10
minutes late to pick he and his ugly mohawk up. Grandma's
standing outside waitin for me to show up. I was tired.
After hanging out with Ryan, I went to work for an hour and a half so
Alex wasn't there until 6 in the morning. I was there until
12:30. So I get five and a halfish hours of sleep before picking
up Glenn. Anyway, so I'm tired.
........
I'll make this shorter because I have no patience.
I get there, and I'm yawning and stuff. I don't roll down my
window, because grandma yells at me for helping her out, if it isn't
done exactly as she wants. So I just sit there in the car, and
she's shaking her head at me, mouthing the words "that is so pathetic".
Bitch.
I'm done with her.
So I'm driving Glenn to school after calling my mom, and I've had
enough. For those of you who don't know me REALLY well, I'm a
huge pushover when I'm really tired, because I just don't care.
Well, grandma pissed me off to the point, where I just let Glenn have
it on the 15 minute drive to his school. He sat there and just
took most of it, because he knew it was true.
The only thing that HASN'T been tried on him is punching him in the
face, figuratively or literally. People are too afraid that he'll
get pushed farther away. Well. Being nice doesn't
work. I got tired of it. Sentences like:
"So... when are you gonna stop being stupid, and come back home?"
"You don't lie to, and hurt, and manipulate the people I love, while keeping my respect."
"You're being stupid. You're not going to see very much of me anymore."
"You're NOT mature, you're NOT responsible, you're NOT being smart."
"I don't see how you can continually take advantage of those who care about you."
Stuff like that.
Funny thing about Karl's actions towards you... is that you get what
you put in. Prolly a flaw of mine, I suppose. Something to
work on. But if you treat me nicely, you'll be treated
nicely. If you treat me like crap, I'll fight back. Such is
the case with grandma right now. If she shows her face around
here and decides to criticize me, she's gonna get blown away. I'm
not tolerating her crap anymore.
You know you've got a good life when the worst of your problems is how
your grandma is nice to your brother and not to you. Don't wanna
make it sound like life sucks because of this, because it
doesn't. It just isn't as fun so long as I continue to waste more
of my time on her or my asshole brother. So from here on out,
I'll try not to. Hopefully it works. No. Hopefully
Glenn grows up, and becomes somewhat intelligent about the decisions he
makes.
Got the new Oasis album from a friend from Aviation Challenge.
It's good. I recommend that you guys download it when it comes
out. Or maybe even buy it.
Saw Star Wars on thursday. AWESOME MOVIE. Accomplished the
impossible task of redeeming episodes one and two. Acting wasn't
bad. Lines weren't bad. Plot was great. Visual
effects were pretty spectacular. Lucas did a good job.
Movie wasn't a very enjoyable movie, because it was really dark.
Not something you see on a romantic date, that's for sure. But
that movie was great. Doesn't quite beat Episode 4. Had
Lucas killed Jar Jar Binks in the movie, it would have. No major
irritating flaws in the movie. Karl gives it an A+. That's
one I'll see a couple more times before I leave.
Song of the Day: Oasis - Turn Up the Sun
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