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| For a few years now, i've had an idea of the 'perfect disciplined life' in my head. It was essentially controlled overdrive: rising early, maybe 6 or 6:30 to run a mile, then shower and work. Lunch with friends, maybe catch a movie, then work until 1:30 or 2:00 am. Then repeat.
I am not keeping that schedule, exactly, but many of the same elements are there. I rise around 7am, jog; depending how I feel, I then either go back to bed and nap for an hour or a half, or start the day's reading. By ten or eleven I am generally at a lecture; then more studying, mixed with people-watching and just walking. By 6pm I jog a mile to crew practice, where we row for an hour before I jog back. Then I work until midnight; not the über-focused work that i used to do; this is the sort where i'll stop to chat, watch a movie, or get a snack. Then by 1 am I'm in bed.
I like the schedule, but several things are strange.
- I am not working as hard as I can.
- I am sleeping 7 hours on average.
- There are periods in the day when I'm not working at all, just walking or thinking (or both).
- Being on a sports team, rather than an academics team, highlights different parallels and creates different analogies in one's mind.
- I'm not quite fully satisfied, because I am not working as hard as I can.
I think there are several factors which are good in the list above, but a few habits need to be changed. This week, for example, I am experimenting with focusing my work time even more--not taking on more work, mind you; just getting the work I have done more efficiently. If that succceeds, I shall have more time to just.. be.
The only problem is if that time happens at night, and no one else is done with their work. Then I get bored, and that's frustrating. I have to time it such that it happens during daylight hours so I can explore. Perhaps the Museum of modern art... | | |
| oxford...After two days of exploring London, and an unscheduled, laid-back weekend in Oxford, I am anxious for classes to begin. They say--and I believe them-- that they will require us to work harder than we have ever worked. But they aren’t doing it yet, and it’s driving me crazy. There is no goal, and therefore no progress can be made toward it. We have orientation, and free time after orientation. But there is simply too much of it. You cannot go explore Oxford after dark, and it gets dark at 4:30. And we have orientation classes until 4:15.
So that leaves me with at least 5 hours each day of unscheduled, non-exploring time. Indoor time. Which usually translates into homework time. However, knowing that I will do more reading and writing in the next few months than I ever felt any desire to, I am unwilling to spend those hours reading or writing unnecessarily. So I painted.. for a little while. That got old. We watched movies. That got old. I went for short walks- which are still fun, but manage to pass no more than 20 minutes at a time.
We’re in the calm before the storm, and I just wish they would give us a way to work ahead.
Maybe that is bad of me, but I am not sure what I should improve. I don’t like to waste time- and conversations with relative strangers only take so long, and only go so far. And let’s face it: after a while, you get tired of talking. At least if you’re naturally introverted. Ah well: five days and counting ‘til the real deal begins.
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| so much writing!So I switched to a philosophy major last semester; now, I have am in the middle of my first non-art semester. There is so much to write! At the end of last week, I had one paper due each day; i have a tournament this weekend (fri-sun), work on weds, midrags, two midterms, an art crit, and several essays due.
Output output output!!
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| on knowingWe've been studying Descartes' meditations, and epistemological theories in general for the past week. Also, for the past week, I have woken up on Tuesday, gone to class, written a paper, read a book, planned a painting, gone to office hours, had dinner, gone to class, hung out with friends, gone to bed, and then woken up. It was Tuesday morning. It was Wednesday morning. It was Thursday. It was Thursday again. It was Tuesday. It was Friday.
In short, it was disorienting. When was I asleep, and when was I awake? Furthermore, what have I actually done? Which memories are genuine, and which are not? And how can the overlap and pre-figuring of mundane but unusual events be explained?
Such events have been far more frequent than usual this week, but the principle of the matter remains unchanged. What is reality? How can I assure myself that I have access to it? Or, perhaps more fundamentally: why am I so obsessed with finding a reliable connection to truth? If I am living entirely in my head, why is that bad?
Perhaps the quest for a connection to truth is driven in part by a need for significance. Even if all we do all day is mundane, it matters a little if it is real. The simplest action done in reality is still far more significant than saving the world in one's dreams. | | |
| simple beautyThere's something refreshingly beautiful about a cup of coffee. It is the same beauty found in a moonlit beach, a particularly well-written novel, a captivating song, or even a day at the mall. It is the joy in the simple things, and it is made better by the knowledge that it could be otherwise. A cup of coffee is not extraordinary; it is not monumental, significant, nor life changing. It is merely a cup of coffee, and it is beautiful.
Recently I have been listening to more sentimental music, I am not sure why. Well, I know in part: the songs remind me of beautiful moments with friends, or invite me to imagine the memory that the lyrics describe. Some are extravagant, some are mundane. All are beautiful.
Playlist of the week:
Augustana: Boston
Imogen Heap: Can't Take It In
U2: Ground Beneath her Feet
Citizen Cope: Let the Drummer Kick it
Eva Cassidy: Over the Rainbow
Kings of Convenience: Weight Of My Words
Natasha Bedingfield: Wild Horses
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