This will be one of my very infrequent posts. I would say enjoy, but that would be a little presumptuous...

I am ashamed and convicted that some of the only times I really read the bible, think about my faith and or try to live like I should are the times when things aren't going my way.
In ordinary times we get along surprisingly well, on the whole, without ever discovering what our faith really is. If, now and again, this remote and academic problem is so unmannerly as to thrust its way into out minds, there are plenty of things we can do to drive the intruder away. But, to us in wartime, cut off from mental distractions by proverbial restrictions and blackouts, and cowering in a cellar with a gas mask under threat of imminent death, comes in the stronger fear and sits down besides us. And demands rather disagreeably, "What do you make of all this?" "What do you believe? Is your faith a comfort to you under the present circumstances?" And are you Michal Beatty using it for a antidepressant rather then a lifestyle.
Just some things I've been mulling over in my mind

And this- There are two items I always lose. Everywhere I go, no matter what house I'm living in or whatever.

1. Earrings
2. Sunglasses.
   

I have bought many a pair of sunglasses, cheap ones, exspensive ones, big ones, small ones, white, black, tortoise shell, aviator, paris hilton-esqu, sporty, Ann Klein, American Eagle, Oakly, Nine West, Brighton. I ALWAYS Lose them, I don't know where they go. They disappear. It stinks. And I LOVE sunglasses, and I live, drive and swim in Florida, where sunglasses are as necessary as deodorant, and sunscreen! GRRRRRRR. It makes me mad.
And I have bought literally 40 pairs of cubic zirconium stud earrings which I wear all the time. I think they are pretty and my holes don't grow closed, these are the only style I ever lose. I have cheapo plastic earrings from middle school still in my jewelery box. But the ones I pay for, the ones I like, the ones I barely every take out vanish! Anyways, basically I'm irritated. If you ever see sunglasses or square emerald cut, fake diamond earrings, they are probably mine. If you need a gift idea for me, I can always use these two items.

Does anybody else lose stuff like that? If so, What?

Sometimes I feel horribly alone here. Which is pretty lame because there are lot's of people, and always someone to do something with.

Sometimes I feel terribly out of place. With my organic milk and other "tree hugger" food items, my free trade coffee, and my refusal to drink tap water. My love of high fashion. My conservative morals which are pitted against my liberal optimism. I question everything and authority, not because I'm rebellious, (ok maybe I am) but because I really do want to ask questions.  I feel out of place when my old fashioned ideas of femininity come up against my "Women Rock" attitude.

Sometimes I realize that my; "I don't give a damn" attitude, and the smile and laughs and the way I make people laugh are just walls I put up to hide things I'm ashamed of.

I am learning what it's like to be on the other end of a friendship that means more to one person then it does to the other. It sucks. I have been really mean to quite a few males. I am realizing this, I've been as ass! What goes around comes around I guess. And I'm sorry.

He is my Light and my Salvation
whom have i to fear
in His secret place i'll hide and pray
that i might hear a simple word

o, how I would have despaired
if You had not come found me there
i can lean against Your throne and find my peace
find my peace

and when my enemies draw near
i pray that they will find
that i'm protected and secure
all tempests He will bind with a mighty word

o, how I would have despaired
if You had not come found me there
i can lean against Your throne and find my peace
find my peace

I have not logged onto Xanga in months.

Look at all the new features.

I don't have anything deep or even interesting to say. Except; "Oh hello! I remember you from high school, when I blogged consistently and thought that other people were as interested in what I had to say as I was interested in letting everyone know." I have spent way to much time reading over what I posted, and you know what? I'm glad that I did. You've come along way baby! Let's hope you are moving in the right direction.

My heart is breaking.

And this is why.
I admit that as the whole euthanasia debate had raged on the past few years I have not paid much attention to it. My opinions on the matter were fairly moderate. My Mom was convinced I was a liberal. And perhaps my thoughts (though they were few) were quite liberal. I wasn’t sure how I felt about terminally ill adults who didn’t want to be vegetables or whatever taking lethal injections and ending thier pain. I’m all for small government and what not and I don’t like any laws that seem to infringe on our personal lives. I had not given enough thought to the whole "pulling the plug" thing because I didn't know how I would feel in the same situation.

However, after I read this article my heart broke and I know now that the time (for me at least) to not think through these important ethical issues is over.  I need to form my opinions and convictions, because if I don’t know what I believe, it will be easier for someone else who does, to persuade me. I don’t like to be persuaded by anybody. Not the Left, not the Right. Ask my parents, I’ve never been one who appreciates being told what to think, feel or do.

But here we are. 2006, and the culture we live in is discussing whether or not parents can decide to euthanize* (read that murder*) a severely handicapped child because they don’t want to deal with them. Is it possible that this barbaric idea is being discussed in our day? How did we get to this point? Abortion is a social norm, so why not kill the child a few hours or days after it’s born naturally? Pro life advocated have long used this analogy and now it seems that is could become a reality.

This is wrong. The value of human life is decreasing, and the value of selfishness is on the rise. This is a horrible trend and a frightening prospect. I choose to no longer sit on the fence about this issue. Life is the greatest value on earth no matter who’s life; the handicapped baby, the 90 year-old man who is paralyzed from a stroke, the 21 year-old in a coma from a car accident. I value freedom, I value my free will and I value human life; Yours, mine, all life. I never thought that we would be having this debate over killing newborn infants, but why not? Abortion was a step in this direction, and what is next? Will inconvenienced and retardation be an excuse for killing people now? In that case Britney Spears had better watch out, she’s retarded and let’s face it, the music she made annoys me and it’s inconvenient to change the station. That may be slightly amusing, ok so it wasn’t... but the point is that it’s serious and I don’t know what to do. I have made a decsions, I'm not sure if it's right or wrong, or if I will stick to my guns if it were me. I would pretty much hate to be unable to function and no doubt I would be tempted to be put out of the misery of complete dependence on another.  I have decided that I am opposed to Euthanasia. Even though "Million Dollar Baby" made me wonder if it wasn’t the humane thing to do and should be up only to the people involved. I realize that if we are asked to compromise even slightly about something, soon or later we will be expected to except the next step.

"The morality of compromise sounds contradictory.
Compromise is usually a sign of weakness, or an admission of defeat.
Strong men don't compromise, it is said, and principles should never be compromised."
Andrew Carnegie

Currently Listening Fashion Nugget By Cake see related

Well, Hello Xanga-land! It’s been awhile. I have been busy. Summer went by in a busy whirl. So far Fall has been crazy in a number of different ways. The following post is something that I wrote while sitting outside in the lovely fall air, while soft breezes played in my hair and the sunshine kissed my forehead and I was pretty much feeling happy to be alive. So Ahem;

I love,

A quiet afternoon spent in a large library among her children, the musty smell of old books and the possibility of falling asleep there.
I love a good laugh, a smile that makes my cheeks hurt and the ache of my ribs after laughing so hard I’ve begun to cry.
I love Brewing my own cup of coffee, wrapping my fingers around the warm mug and maybe eating an apple toaster pastry with it.
I love a great rock band, a song that touches your heart, a beat that makes you want to dance, lyrics that speak to your soul, and a hook that stays in your head for hours.
I love watching children play when they don’t know you are watching them.
I love to dream about all the places I’m going to travel to.

I love,
Afternoon naps.
Ethnic foods.
Ice cream.
Indie Movies
Deep conversations late at night.
Letters.Swimming in a freezing cold mountain stream in the summer.
Wildflowers.
Taking black and white photographs of the people I love.
Cooking for the people I love.
Cheesy Broadway musicals.
A friendly tree,
People watching.
Thunderstorms.
Babies.
Concert T-shirts,
Australian accents,
The color green,
Harrison Ford,
The Corvette z06,
C.S. Lewis,
The beach,
Tchaikovsky,
playing with fire,
the muppets,
Dreams in which I fly,
a mix cd made for you by a friend,
Strawberries.
Life.