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Name: Joshua
Birthday: 11/11/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: cool people, cool music, cool movies, a cool God, delirious?, Coldplay, U2, Johnny Cash, David Crowder Band, Relient K, DC Talk, older Newsboys music, large DVD collections, freezing cold weather, writing songs, going to concerts, leading worship and singing background at Gateway Youth, leading worship at BCS, the sound of crowds singing, my family, my close friends, philosophy, history, food, sleep, faith without mindless religious rules, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Dana Johnson Ministries, random dancing, acting stupid, telling jokes that only I find funny, being "extra-different", having a long list of subscriptions that makes me look popular, theater, playing Gaston, being especially good at expectorating, being an intimidating speciman, having every last inch of me covered in hair, using antlers in all of my decorating, eating 5 dozen eggs every morning,having deep conversations with deep people, rock n' roll, wearing pink, TCU, and grace over karma.
Expertise: I like to write movie reviews. To read my reviews you can visit my other blog: JoshTheMovieGuy. I also like to write songs, but i'm not really an expert or anything. I know all about how females think (yeah right!). If you want to know how to be out of the loop, come talk to me (so who's going out? and who broke up? and why am I finding out two months later?)
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  iluvlucythebass
Member Since:
10/16/2004
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| Asleep With Hope, Not Awake With NoneThe following was originally posted on my blog, greetingsfromflatland.blogspot.com, on February 3, 2008:
Do
you ever hate sleeping? I often do. It's not that I am unable, an
insomniac I'm not, it is just that I resist the notion of my day coming
to an end? Why? Because so many times, I honestly feel incomplete, and
as the day closes, it's almost as if I try to stop it with the hopes
that something will happen to make that entire past day hold some
significance. Unfortunately, this is about as futile as a foolish man
leaping in front of a train, hoping that he can make it stop so that
the train conductor will give him a cookie. When the train rolls
around, he will meet a splattery end, and likewise, when I wake up the
next day, I will feel awful on account of not sleeping enough,
therefore handicapping the brand new day from the very start.
I'm
not gonna lie, it's quite depressing. Last year, my freshman year, this
would happen most nights out of the week. Now it's down to one to two
nights a week, but it's still terrible. On the whole, I'm not a
depressing person, but when it hits 12 AM and I'm awake by myself,
something in me just screams for something more.
I've been
reading this book called Soul Cravings, by Erwin Raphael McManus, and
in this book, he deals with the three things human beings long for and
drive themselves nuts trying to achieve: love, destiny, and meaning.
Two nights ago, I was reading the Destiny section of this book. McManus
talks about hope. In the book he points out that humans cannot live
without hope. We need it to survive. We need to look towards the future
and believe that we can have some profound affect upon it. He says that
essentially, as an individual human, you are of absolutely no
significance and everything you do amounts to nothing....if there is no
God.
It sounds cheesy, but I strive and long for my life to have
significance, and I'm pretty sure you do to. Problem is, we live in a
society which tries to make everyone alike, and often times, the
Christian culture can reinforce this idea. McManus says the following,
"Too often discipleship equals standardization. It's almost as if God's
solution to the human problem is cloning, making us all the same,
extracting from us all that is unique, destroying that which makes us
different."
We all have things we're passionate about, but when
we all try to be the same and conform to one earthly mold, we lose our
emotion. What are you passionate about, and if you've lost your
passion, ask yourself, what were you once passionate about? We often
think that to be godly, we have to turn off all emotion and become
Jesus-robots; yet, the term Jesus-robot is really an oxymoron, because,
as Mr. McManus points out, Jesus was a ridiculously passionate person,
and he wants us to be the same. Check out this other McManus quote:
"The
solution for God has never been to neuter us or move us toward living
apathetic lives. The goal of spirituality is not to extract from you
all desire and passion. The call of Jesus is the exact opposite...the
destination of your spiritual journey was never intended to be
nothingness."
So when I stay up late battling depressing
thoughts and feelings, it's not that I need to turn those feelings off,
I just need to channel them elsewhere...into hope. Fact of the matter
is, God wants us to feel strongly, and use those feelings to fuel our
callings. After reading McManus's entire section on Destiny, I felt
incredible. Once again, I was awake at 2 AM but this time it was
because I was genuinely excited. I didn't necessarily have all the
answers I wanted, but I knew that God has something for me to do, and
that with hope, it's within reach. So I encourage you, with full
awareness that I'm coming dangerously close to sounding like a
self-help book, that before you sleep each night, to find some reason
to hope, regardless of what's happened in your day. If we keep reaching
for something bigger, and if we let that sustain us, we cannot die.
Sure, our bodies will pass, but the essence of who we are will become
clearer and brighter from now till eternity, and I can sleep calmly
knowing that.
Obey Your Thirst,
Josh
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| Discovering A Root Of My Cynicism Towards Modern WorshipThe following was originally posted on my blog, greetingsfromflatland.blogspot.com, on January 22, 2008:
As
many of you know, I am a worship leader. It's what I do, and it's a
large part of what sustains me. As a result, I tend to view worship
music differently than most. I can't just listen to any worship music
and love it. In fact, there is surprisingly small amount of worship
music out there today which I truly love. I've never been a huge fan of
the Passion albums (select Crowder songs withstanding) and the music of
probably the biggest worship leader in America today, Chris Tomlin,
makes me cringe. I am in no way judging the hearts of these artists,
but for some reason, the music doesn't speak to me, and it often drives
me nuts, paling in comparison to what I personally consider to be the
holy quadriforce of current worship music: delirious?, Hillsong United,
David Crowder*Band, and Phil Wickham.
I've long searched for the
reason of my slight dislike to outright loathing of much of what I'd
cynically call today's "modern generic worship." Part of the problem
seems to be that it's not incredibly musically creative when compared
to the four artists I've just mentioned, but still, if life's taught me
anything, it's that God can manifest in the most simple choruses (just
look at Hillsong United). So what is it?
I think tonight God
gave me a revelation about my cynicism. Let me preface this by saying
that while I feel I should always strive to be a part of creative,
different, music, I know that part of my cynicism is a pride issue and
needs to be killed. I've always known this cynicism in some way or
another be a problem, but I've never been able to pinpoint the source
of it, much less find a solution. Tonight, I attended a Phil Wickham
concert, and it was amazing. He was great, the Lord was there, and Phil
even did part of a great Hillsong tune. Towards the end, he went into
How Great Is Our God. Now, I moderately liked that song when it was
released, but after hearing it over and over and over in church, or on
Christian radio, it quickly joined the myriad number of modern worship
songs which annoy me. Tonight, I loved that song. Everyone in the crowd
was singing and worshipping with all their hearts, and God was moving.
Then it hit me: "I don't hate this song, I just hate the way people (me
included) usually respond to it." It occurred to me that a lot of
popular modern worship gets so overplayed that we often lose the
meaning, and it just becomes a nice song we can listen to without
corrupting our hearts with the filth that runs rampant in secular music
and is rapidly destroying the very fabric of our culture (said with an
adequate amount of sarcasm).
How Great is Our God really is a
good song, but when we play it on the radio and on our iPods and in
church so much, along with many other common worship songs (I Could
Sing of Your Love Forever, and Here I Am To Worship come to mind), we
regulate them to mere background music. We hear it and go, "ah, that's
a nice song." We simply treat is as a soundtrack or something. But the
concept that drives How Great Is Our God shouldn't accompany our lives,
it should BE OUR LIVES.
One of the reasons some of my favorite
music is secular is because the fans of that music take it seriously.
I've yet to meet a Coldplay fan who cannot hear Fix You without
entering a worship-like trance. U2 is a prime example. U2 fans
understand that that music has WEIGHT to it. Take your favorite band.
So many of us, when we hear our favorite song on the radio, turn it up
and stop everything to experience that song.
Now lets take a
look at fans of worship music. It's not often you stop everything to
experience a worship song. So often, we say, "hey, that's a nice song"
and move on with our day, when what that song is expressing should
shake our very being to its core. I'm not sure what the solution is.
Maybe we should listen to these songs less, so that when we hear them,
we don't take it for granted. It's easy to get so overwhelmed with a
good thing that you forget how good it is. Maybe this is what we've
done to worship. All I know is, tonight I was in a room full of people
singing How Great Is Our God, and I loved it, because it MEANT
something. It wasn't the mediocrity of the song that had been the
problem, it was the flippant way that people (me included) sing it.
Obey Your Thirst,
Josh
P.S. I'm not assuming to have this right. I'm pointing out a problem I also see in myself. | | |
| Lewis, Tozer, Worship, and GloryCheck out this quote from the illustriously brilliant Clive Staples Lewis:
“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word “darkness” on the walls of his cell.”
I’m guessing that didn’t all sink it the first time, because it didn’t for me. So go back and read it again. Don’t worry, the rest of this blog will still be here when you get back.
Quote absorbed through all the pores of your soul? Good. Here’s what I take away from that quote:
1. God is so glorious, that He can’t not be worshipped. For that insanely ridiculous amount of sheer glory to go unworshipped would be an egregious crime against the entire universe. God is so glorious, He demands worship. Now, sit there for at least 30 seconds and ponder this fact. Let it soak through all the synapses in your brain, and of course, just like last time, this blog will still be here when you get back.
Good to go? Ok. On to numero dos.
2. Because God is so glorious that he demands worship, someone or something must worship Him….duh. The only question that remains is what or whom will worship God? God prefers it to be humans. The Bible is filled with instructions commanding us to worship/pursue God. But of course, if we don’t, God’s glory won’t be diminished. If we refuse, God will move onto the rocks, which will then give Him praise. Congratulations, God has made You His number one choice to praise Him over the next best option……a rock. I don’t know about you guys, but I prefer the affirmation of other people….not stones. So we better get to praisin’.
3. Worshipping God is really your best option. It doesn’t hurt Him at all if you don’t (thanks, various boulders around the world), which means it must benefit you if you do. Another quote from Clive Staples:
“If He who in himself lacks nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed.”
So worship is going to help You. Granted, that shouldn’t be your main motive, and if you come to worship with that motive, then you will not be helped at all. But if you purely seek the Lord, then eventually you will become more like Him, which means that the Glory which outshines the brilliance of every object in the entire universe will be shining through you. Think about it. With that kind of Glory running through your veins, filling up your lungs, and enveloping all of your thoughts and emotions, would anything else matter? Would your cares about school bother you? For my fellow single-folk out there, would finding “the one” drive you this crazy? Would your the reception of your next paycheck, the health of your friends and family, or the horrible feeling in your gut created by the inordinate amount of food you’re going to eat on Thanksgiving disturb your soul at all?
I’ve begun reading a book called The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. I’ve only read the first chapter, and already my mind is reeling with the concept that every problem, every worry, and every sinful thing in my life stems from one single problem: I don’t want God bad enough. I don’t want His Love and Glory badly enough, because I still constantly worry over things like school, finding “the one”, money, and the horrible feeling in my gut which will result from eating an inordinate amount of food on Thanksgiving.
Sometimes, I don’t think we seek God, because we’re afraid of what we will lose if we do so. We somehow forget that if we “seek first His kingdom” then “ALL of these things shall be added”. Let me give you a Tozer quote, nay, a Tozer paragraph:
“The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever.”
Now, stop, take the rest of your life, and let that truth permeate your entire being.
“Obey Your Thirst”
- Josh
P.S.
“May He never be forgotten,
His fame shine on like sunshine.
May all godless people enter his circle of blessing
nd bless the One who blessed them.
Blessed God, Israel’s God,
the one and only wonder-working God!
Blessed always His blazing glory!
All earth brims with His glory.
Yes and Yes and Yes.”
- Psalms 72:17-20
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| Stuff About The Book Of John, Chapter 1I finished reading Hosea yesterday. It was approximately my third book of prophecy from scripture to read recently (the other two being Ezekiel and Isaiah). I had planned on just reading through all of the prophets, because to be honest, I have never read them all. After finishing Hosea though, I found that I was kind of burned out on the prophets, and needed to mix things up a bit. Today I felt like God told me to read the gospel of John....again.
It's funny. I've probably read John more than any book in all of scripture (Psalms might have it beat). It's by far my favorite of the gospels. It seems that whenever I get burned out reading the Bible, and the words just seem dead on the page, and my human brain cannot grasp the truth within them, God usually takes me back to John. Usually I read a few chapters a day of whatever book I'm reading, but I feel that this time I'm supposed to take John one chapter at a time, and get as much as I can out of it.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because I think I might just try and blog about a chapter of John everyday until I'm finished. I say "I think", because this might not be a God idea, it could just be something that sounds cool in my head and I think it's from the Lord. But I am starting right now. We'll shall no soon enough if I'm going to blog about every chapter. Basically, I'm sharing with you what God is correcting in me and guiding me in. I hope it is some help to you as well.
John, Chapter 1
I'm reading this in the Message, so some stuff definitely sounds different, but it's opening my eyes to some different things. First off, let me say that I love this verse:
"The Word was first,
the Word present to God,
God present to the Word.
The Word was God,
in readiness for God from day one."
verses 1-2
I just love that it's established that God came first....before anything. What I love even more is the notion woven throughout the first section of John 1 that absolutely everything....everything....depends on Him.
"Everything was created through him;
nothing - not one thing! -
came into being without Hiim.
What came into existence was life,
and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;
the darkness couldn't put it out."
verses 3-5
Something within me just jumps out when I read the line "the darkness couldn't put it out". With all the crap that tries to control our minds, a feeling of victory floods my senses when I realize that nothing can ever put the Light out. No matter how bad things get. The Light prevails. How does that pertain to us?
"He was in the world,
the world was there through Him,
and yet the world didn't even notice."
verse 10
It pertains to us, because, as this verse says, we all exist because of this prevailing Light. We are here "through Him". The problem is "the world didn't even notice." I like to compare this to breathing. Breathing is a process which keeps our physical bodies constantly alive, yet we don't often consciously think about breathing. We don't realize it's importance, because it's just there. I think we go a step further and make things worse when it comes to Christ. We don't only fail to notice Him, but we also fail to realize we need Him, so we exclude Him from our lives. If we stopped breathing, our physical bodies would die. Many of us have stopped breathing spiritually, and are therefore already dead (however, if the story of Jesus is to be believed, then we must always remember that resurrection is possible!).
Here's where it all starts to come together for me:
"But whoever did want him,
who believed he was who he claimed
and would do what he said,
He made to be their true selves,
their child-of-God selves."
I love this translation: "He made to be their TRUE SELVES." I don't know about you, but I spend most of my time worrying and fretting over finding myself. If you and I are similar at all, it would be a safe bet to say that you struggle with the same thing. We get lost in classes, jobs, friends, relationships, all trying to find out who we are and what God wants us to do. I've spent the last few days racking my brain over next semester's classes, and oddly enough, what my political beliefs are, of all things. These are just two examples of a process that continually rages in my mind and expresses itself in everything. I want to make decisions and take part in actions (regarding class choice, politics, or anything really) which reflect and project who God has made me to be. Often times I feel like I miss the mark and that I'm operating as some kind of hollow Josh Coad shell, and not as the real being with a soul that God created.
Even so, Light created and is sustaining us all. And if we simply believe, He will make us to be our true "child-of-God selves". That means laying your plans on the altar. It means being open to the possibility that everything you know is completely different from what God wants. And often times, it means doing nothing. I'm mostly preaching to myself at this point, but it means choosing to not force your life in any direction that you think is God's will. It means sitting uncomfortably silent until God comes through and let's you know what to do next. He usually doesn't answer as early as I'd like, but what's new? He always answers in time for His will to be accomplished, and that's what matters. In the end, it's the only way to truly live.
"Obey Your Thirst"
- Josh | | |
| Constipated Elephant + Ticked-Off Toddler = Josh CoadI had an interesting moment in the car today. A few unfortunate events had taken place directly in a row. As a result, I was very, very, very, very angry. I kept most of this inside while I was around people, because it would have caused more trouble if I had fully expressed it, and it would not have been right by God's standards anyway. But then I got in the car. I was in a hurry to get somehwere, and I noticed that my car's gas was on empty. I had forgotten about that. I would be late if I stopped for gas, but I had no choice. This was the straw the broke the camel's back. Without thinking, I engaged in what I'd like to thing was a manly, collosal, intimidating scream of wrath. I can't be sure, but I'm guessing it sounded more like a cross between a ticked-off toddler and a constipated elephant*. This scream also occurred twice, and while I screamed twice, I repeatedly hit my steering wheel, slightly bruising both of my hands. Let's just say it was very unbecoming behavior for a person who calls himself a dedicated follower of Jesus (I don't ever remember anything about Jesus cursing the heavens and beating the reigns because his camel ran out of energy).
It was the kind of behavior that would cause any teacher from my years at Bethesda who gave me a good conduct grade to regret that decision. It was the kind of behavior that would scare away small children. It was the kind of behavior that would have prompted Emperor Palpatine to exclaim, "Yeeeees. Yeeees. Let the hatred flow through you" (Return of the Jedi, anyone?). It was the kind of behavior that would cause any female who finds herself at least slightly attracted to me (if they do indeed exist....this is a highly debatable topic) to say to herself, "I thought he was cool, manly, muscular, and sexy, but gosh, I now realize that he's more like a ticked of toddler mixed with a constipated elephant. I should move on to the next guy as quickly as possible."
Now those are all extreme exaggerations, but that's how I felt afterwards. I felt as if my scream of pathetic, childish moodiness was a sin of the greatest kind. I realized God was still preasant and had witnessed the whole thing. I felt like I was a dog who had just chewed up his master's favorite shoe, only to discover that the master had actually been watching the entire time. I was ashamed.
No let's rewind to last week. I led worship for the Sr. High youth group at Gateway. I then went on to lead worship for the youth group at Wellspring on Saturday night, and Sunday night. To top all that off, I led worship for the elementary students at Bethesday Christian School early Monday morning. Now the point of that list is not to impress you and make you go, "wow, he leads worship a lot. He's so awesome." Here's the point: when I led every single one of those services, I felt amazing. I was praising God, and other people were benefitting from it. I was being who God created me to be. I was, for the moment, walking a higher path in life, a path holier than the one I usually tread.
I told my BYX cell group this week that I feel like I'm truly myself when I'm leading worship for a group of people. It's not because I'm rocking out on a stage, or because I'm getting attention for it (although I'd be lying if I didn't say those things aren't nice and encouraging). It's because I'm living they way God wants me too. I'm more in touch with Him than ever. I temporarily rise above the stuff of life. However, I'm not always leading worship 24-7. Who I am in normal life is far more dull. I get frustrated sometimes, because I think people who haven't been in a worship service with me don't truly understand what makes me tick. I have excellent friends who I've never worshipped with, but I feel like I can never adequately express the deeper spiritual realities in my heart with them, because I'm not surrounded by music and instruments. I'm not constantly living in that state of spiritual exuberance, where I am more full of God than ever.
So there are moments when I rise above life onto a higher spiritual plane (like when I'm leading worship), and there are moments where I devolve into the person who hits his steering wheel and screams like a baby. Most of my life is lived somewhere in the middle. Thankfully, I'm not always the angry, steering wheel-persecutor, but unfortunately, I'm not always the "I'm-so-in-touch-with-God-right-now" worshipper. I'm in the boring middle ground.
I think we all have our good side and our bad side. Sometimes we hang our head in shame as the bad side takes over, and other times we rejoice when the good side rules out. Most of the time, though, we lament the fact that we can't be the good person all of the time. To quote the Apostle Paul, we do "the very things that we hate."
It's at this point where I should write a concluding paragraph summarizing how we can be that good person more often. Unfortunately, I honestly don't have a specific, straight answer. I know it has something to do with God, and love, and that there's probably a scripture somehwere that could help us out, but I'm tired because I'm writing a philosophy paper at 3:30 in the morning at IHOP, and this is what I've been thinking about, and I needed to type it all out. I don't have the exact answer, but I know we need to rely on grace, and not our ability. God still loves me when I'm causing harm to my steering wheel. He loves me the same when I'm leading others in worship. That kind of love should encourage us, and the more we remember that love, the more we can walk in it, and the more we walk in it, the more we can be the people we were born to be. And believe me, if we keep following Christ, we will indeed get there eventually. We might have gone through a good chunk of eternity before we get there, but it will happen. We can change, and if we believe that we can, and allow God to help, we will. We are two-faced, but God sees through all that, thank goodness. I know that's not incredibly deep, but it helps me out, when I'm depressed about my childish screaming, to think about it, and I hope it helps you too.
"Obey Your Thirst"
- Josh
*In fact, I do not actually know what sound a constipated elephant makes, but it sounded funny, and I wanted to make you laugh. I hope I succeeded. | | |
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