| | ][on da tuRntabLes- Lil' Jon- Get Low (reggae mix)][
wats up everyone... just got back from clarks just now... well heres how everything went....
Well yesterday my mom had really bad chest pains so me and my dad had to bring her to emergency. They think it was a mild heart attack. I'm scared though cuz she is in the HOSPITAL and i cant do nething about it but pray she will be ok. But yea.. enough about that subject.
++Clarks Party++
HAPPY B-DAY CLARK!!!
After i was with my mom in the hospital for 4 hours, i went home and got dressed to go to Clarks. i dont even know why i went to the party.. My mom told me not to worry and that i should go to the party. so i did, so i could get my mind off things. BUt yea.. i got there around 5:30. hella lot of people there. When i got there, Steve, Billy, Mary, Jackie, Jon Jon, Gion, Chris and Nesza were there. Gion was the DJ. Thats pretty cool how Mary is chinese but she speaks fluently in Tagalog since she was born in the Philippines. Mikee, Ian, Jan, Johan, Robbie, Randal, Ateh Gillian, Ateh Tin, Nicole, and Tiff came a lil later. Me and Ateh Gillian had a long talk in the front of Clarks house. Yea a pretty long talk. Just talked about wat was goin thru my head with my mom in the hospital and how i felt for Nicole. But yea, i ended up crying and everything.
I tried talkin to Nicole last night. But that was a bad idea cuz i just got turned down. I even asked her if i just talk and she could just listen. she said i dont know. so i just left her alone. after that i started to cry. cuz it hurt. She thinks that i'm tryin to ask for her back. Thats not the case. I just wanted to tell her and thank her for everything GOOD she did for me this summer. And i'm sorry that i couldnt make it better and more happy for her. All i want is her friendship (and i know ex-couples cant just be friends right away) but i just needed to know where me and her stand. Cuz i dont want her to be out of me life. WE STARTED OUT AS GOOD FRIENDS AND WE SHOULD END AS GOOD FRIENDS. Thats all i wanted to tell her. She just needs "her space". So i'll give it to her. But when she didnt let me talk, i blew my temper. When Ateh Gillian, Ateh Tin and Mikee tried talkin to me about it and how Nicole needed her space, i was mean to them. AND I AM TRUELY SORRY FOR BEING MEAN TO YOU GUYS. you were just tryin to help. after i talked to them, as Nicole went to them.. i yelled " U WANT UR SPACE NICOLE, THEN I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU". that was really wrong of me. its just i was so mad at her not hearin me out. Well as Nicole went to walk with the girlz and Mikee, there was a lil drama outside. i really dont know wut it was about but it was settled. But between 11-12, Ateh Tin, Ateh Gillian, Gion, Johan, Jon jon, Jan, Ian, Christian, Rob, Randel and Me were all in the kitchen just havin a "wat if scenerio" talk. it was funny but i didnt feel much like laughin. At around 12, Me and Jon Jon walked Ateh Tin, Christian, Mikee, Mike, and Ian home. after that Robbie took me, Jon Jon, and Randal to Dunkin DOnuts. after that we went home. i talked to Mary-Grace at like 1:30, but just for a lil. after that... had a lil "guy talk" then we slept around 3am.
But i realize that i do need to change myself cuz i'm not only hurting the people that i'm in relationships with but also my FRIENDs. and Ateh Tin Ateh Gillian and Mikee are my friends and i did put them down a lil. So yea.... just need a lil "ALONE TIME" by myself and with NO ONE ELSE so i can think.
So heres wat i learned last night:
1. i get the picture that Nicole is NOT my friend.
2. i have to change for the better of me and the people around me that i care about.
3. Give Nicole "space" and not to bother her.
4. My friends (ateh gil, ateh tin, mikee, ateh gel, mary-g) are here for me when the times get bad.
5. you find love in freindship and your find freindship in love...
6. if you trully love somone, you would want them to be happy even if you not with them...
But that was my yesterday. if u dont care about nething else in the blog just read this...
PLEASE PRAY FOR MY MOM CUZ SHE IS IN THE HOSPITAL AND SHES NOT DOING GOOD, BUT SHE IS GETTING BETTER. .
~Stefan |
