| Wow, well, I suppose it's been a while.  So, I'm back... and it's bitter sweet. I have to admit that I miss Cambodia dearly. I'm trusting God to continue the work that He's started over there, as well as the work He's started in me. When you isolate yourself long enough from the comforts of the normal, you realize the beauty of the abnormal, and then, you never want to leave. However, I know that God must continue to move me along into the wonderfully new seasons of life. I now have a new understanding of many things: the good, the bad, the ugly--about myself, about the world, about God. (Well, God is all good). There are so many wrongs I wish I could make right, and there are so many rights I wish would stay right. Everything is in God's hands though; He has a plan. He has a perfect plan--for Cambodia, for you, for me, for the world. Maybe I'm a dreamer, but God uses dreamers. Remember Joseph? My adventures and lessons and trials didn't end when I walked from the airport onto Mississippi soil, and surprisingly enough, they didn't begin when I breathed my first sticky breath of Cambodian air. Beyond my knowledge God has been preparing me for these past two months before I even knew where I would be, and these past two months, He's been preparing me for what's to come. I wouldn't be so bold as to say I'm ready or prepared; that's impossible. I would be bold enough to say that I am trusting Him and willing to undergo these constant transformations. He's allowed me to survive this crazy world thus far, so I know He still has something for me to do. If only to live, I would be honored to do it for His glory.
Thank you, to all of you who have kept me in your prayers... they worked.  Despite the report of the doctors, I did not get sick, I did not get rabies, I did not entertain any extravagant viruses. More importantly, I fell in love with a people, a people who need God, and who are searching intensely for a deeper meaning to life. By the grace of God, we were able to tell many of them that there is a God who knows them, who searches for them, who has a plan to give them a future and a hope. They are an incredible people, and the ones who know our Lord are so fervent in their efforts to spread Salvation to all who will listen. They inspire me. I went to Cambodia to teach, but in turn, I became the student.
The bank of words and thoughts I have accumulated will never end; I will only spare you the time. Cambodia was more than just a snapshot of my life; it was an open door. I walked through, and I will never be the same.
I hope.
Here's my last e-mail from Cambodia... enjoy!
Hello Everybody :)
This could possibly be my last e-mail until I get back
to the states. This is my last night in Cambodia; my
last night to sleep in a 96 degrees room. I think I'm
going to miss it. I think I'm going to miss it a lot,
but I'll be so glad to see all of y'all.
English Club: The grand finale
This was the last time I saw my students. We said our
final good byes at the church. I was overwhelmed by
the amount of attention we received. They gave
speeches of memories and thanks; they gave gifts of
soap, scarves, drawings, and cards. I couldn't
believe it; I hope I don't exceed the weight limit for
my luggage. They asked us to say a few words, and of
course, the tears started to flow. It felt good to
cry, though; it's so emotionally hard to let this
place go. I shared my heart and my belief that God has
great plans for Cambodia and its people whether I'm
physically involved or not. Everyone keeps asking
when will we be back again; they say they're praying
for God to bring us back soon. I'm praying God send me
wherever He wants me.
After the tears, we danced! Oh, it was so much fun!!
Everyone was circling the room dancing the traditional
Khmer dances. My Khmer dancing skills weren't that
impressive, but I had Soho much fun! They also fed us
cake, and when I say fed, I mean they went around
spoon-feeding us cake as we danced. :) Now, that's
what I call a good time. ;)
Angkor Wat: Walking with Mowgli
The trip to Siem Reap included many firsts for me.
Starting with the most impressive, I ate a spider...
I'll let you chew on that for a bit... Yes, I ate a
spider. Well, actually just its crunchy leg, but I
held the whole dead greasy thing in my hand. Yeah, it
was a fear factor moment. Another first--we killed a
dog on the way there (now, someone has a meal for a
few days--it's the truth). I also became a
mother-in-law; we went to their cultural theme park,
and during the mock wedding ceremony they chose people
to be the groom and the groom's parents. I can't
imagine why they picked me; it's not like I stick out
or anything... ;) It was fun; I just remember being
self-conscious about the scraggly band-aid on my foot
and my freakish tan line, but such is life. The rest
of our day was spent braving the rain and the hot
crowd. The grand finale had a shabby rain-worn
audience, but it was spectacular. Color and
drama--lots of drama.
The sentence I'm about to write should have some
fancy, ornate sort of introduction; I suppose I'll
think of a better one when I write my book. With that
said, I saw Angkor Wat. It and many of its
neighboring temples were at one time buried in the
heart of the surrounding rain forest. I would've
loved to have been one of the first explorers to
stumble upon this forgotten wonder. We mosied our way
through corridors and towers. I conquered my fear of
heights while climbing to the top of one tower. I had
no idea I was afraid until I started climbing this
mountainish sort of contraption. Most of the statues
at Angkor had their heads knocked off from previous
scavengers of ancient artifacts. Now, the heads rest
in European museums, and they, of course, refuse to
give them back. I'm just glad I don't serve idols or
statues; it must be disheartening to see your god
without a head. The few worshipers we did see at
Angkor were mainly Westerners. They sat in silence in
front of the idols and acted perturbed as each visitor
passed by. In front of one idol were drink offerings
of... Fanta? hmmm... apparently the tastes of the gods
have changed. I'm just glad I don't worship a god who
is idol and has His head knocked off or who lives
half-way across the world. If you think about it
though, at one time, our ancestors were doing the same
thing (unless you're Jewish). If it weren't for
Christ, I should still be a druid; I'm glad God is not
bound by culture. So, I know there is hope for the
Buddhist nations (all nations, for that matter).
We also visited other temples--Bayon and the one I
have deemed the Jungle Book temple. This one easily
became my favorite. The mossy stones, fallen from
gravity, war, and time lay in an intricate puzzle on
the dangerously green forest floor. Huge rain forest
trees interrupted the lines of the stone ruins with
their snake-like roots. Like boa constrictors, they
gripped these ancient forms, and after several hundred
years, they began to digest their prey. The whole
sight was more than beautiful; it was ancient. I
touched the walls of history and lore. I walked
through a dead civilization. I walked on faded ruins.
I walked among forgotten wonders. I walked with
Mowgli.
My final reflections: Ever had the feeling that you
wanted to go, but still had the feeling that you
wanted to stay? Go! Stay! Stay! Go! Let's call the
whole thing off...
Every good reflection must begin with "I can't believe
how fast the time has flown by." Not to spoil the
fun, but I predicted such a post-analysis of time. I
only hope my records of the last two months will be
sufficient to last me a lifetime. Memories fade so
easily and can become nothing more than an
over-zealous scrap book. I want to carry so much
more. I want to remember my thoughts and prayers. I
want to remember the faithfulness of God, even when I
didn't deserve it (but, when do I ever?). I know I
must leave because God has yet to change and grow me
even more. I know I must endure tests and trials. I
know God will forge me in the fires. I know He will
not allow me to be apathetic; I've seen too much; I've
acquired a burden. I know that God will be faithful,
and I know that He hears my prayers and the prayers of
others. I wish I could see more of what He is doing,
but now is the time to return from isolation, to take
me out of the laboratory and test me out. Will I
bend? Will I break? Or will I stand strong and
steady against the forces of a new reality? Will I
survive outside of this incubator. I pray with all of
my heart. God help me.
I will miss so many things, but I am anxious to return
to so many good things. I've learned to appreciate
the many blessing in my life, and I've learned the
many things that I need to appreciate. God has taught
me so much, and I'm thankful for all that He will
continue to teach me. Thank you for keeping me
company in my travels. Your words of encouragement and
prayers kept me in so many ways. I'm thankful for
family and friends who are so willing to be a part of
my life. I love you all so dearly. I will see you
soon. :)
In the bond of perfection,
Hope
|
Well, actually in two months!!! 
If you want me to e-mail you during my trip just let me know, and I'll add you to the list!! 