My stepdad and I had a discussion about the truth.

I told him that the truth is easy to see if you're honest with yourself. It stands up under great scrutiny, and it does not eventually fail like falsehood does.

What is your definition of "truth"?

Most people will say "truth is the opposite of a lie." That's like saying, "light is the opposite of dark" or "knowledge is the opposite of ignorance." You see, it doesn't really tell you what truth is.

I tried to describe it to my stepfather like this. According to dictionary.com, truth is defined as agreement with a standard or original. We all probably know about the Constitution that America was founded upon. Now if you read the Constitution, and it read,

Preamble

We the Monsters of the United Grapes, in Order to form a more zany Union, establish Insanity, insure domestic Hostility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Harm, and secure the Curses of Bondage to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United Grapes of Tennessee.

You would know that it was not the truth. People know that the original Constitution reads

Preamble

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Pasted from <http://www.constitutioncenter.org/explore/TheU.S.Constitution/index.shtml>

That would make the first paragraph a lie, a falsehood, untrue, a fraud, a phony, or a counterfeit. The second paragraph is the truth, it is right, it is correct, and it is the ORIGINAL. Anything that changes from that original is what is not the truth.

My stepdad says, "Well, Mistye, there are so many different religions and beliefs. So how can you say that the one Jesus talks of is the truth. First of all, Jesus said in John 14:6 that

• "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Pasted from <http://aim.search.aol.com/search/search?&query=i%20am%20the%20way%20the%20truth%20life&invocationType=TB50TRie7>

I've read and heard this verse so many times in the past. But when I heard it in this context, it was so new. I knew He was the ONLY way to go and the ONLY way to get through to God and into heaven. But I usually ignored the part about Him being the TRUTH.

I also had to explain to my stepfather that sometimes Jesus seems so cloudy or hard to understand because what we have been presented with as being Jesus is really just a copy of a copy of a copy. I asked my stepdad had he seen a copy of a copy after putting the original on a copier machine. The copies are never as clear as the original page that has been printed fresh off the printer.

Jesus is much the same way. Jesus is God come down in human form who dwelt on earth for 33 years.

John 1:1 - King James Bible

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Pasted from <http://bible.cc/john/1-1.htm>

John 1:14 - King James Bible

................................................................................

And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

Pasted from <http://biblecc.com/john/1-14.htm>

So Word=God was in the beginning and Word=He was made flesh and dwelt on earth (with us humans) full of TRUTH!

So God/Jesus are the original because they came from the beginning. Who better to be the original than the original that made itself?! No man can taint what was made before man was made. But throughout thousands of years of religion, our image of God and Jesus has been tainted by being made a copy of another copy.

Even if a page looks like an original, if you copy its copy, you'll soon see it wasn't the true original because its copy of its copy looks blurry.

When you know the truth it will be so clear to you. There will be no doubt. Why worry yourself with buying the truth when you can know it for yourself?

My stepdad has obviously been trying to buy the truth. He seems to mess around and pull "truths" from so many different religions that he has made his own religion it appears! The best way I can describe it as he would is that He believes that God is not a father figure who hears or answers prayers like I believe that God is a Heavenly Father, but He's just a spirit of love. He believes that Jesus was just a man. He doesn't believe in hell, the devil, or ghosts/spirits. I don't think he believes in heaven either. Now don't get me wrong, I do respect my stepfather, but he is a great example I use because we have long discussions about religion that give me a glimpse into how agnostics/deists/atheists think.

I feel for him because he will risk his soul on a collaboration of half-truths. He picks a "truth" from this religion over here, and then a "truth" from this one here. But you can tell he doesn't really believe in it because he'll change his mind. If it was the truth, there'd be no changing of the mind. Maybe he can settle for a 99% truth, but I need a whole 100% heap of it! If the Preamble of the Constitution read:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Insanity, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

I'd still not take it. It looks like the Preamble, most of the words are the exact words, but ONE WORD IS WRONG. If you're not familiar with the original copy of the Constitution, you'll take it as truth and you'll even pass it on to others as truth and will lead them astray. But you'd be selling yourself short. Know the truth for yourself instead of having to buy it from a bunch of unsure people. If I only believed 95% of the bible, it wouldn't do for me. I believe 100% of my religion. And if God shows me a flaw, I'll amend that. But so far, I'm satisfied. I'm 100% sure of where I'm going when I die. My stepdad is unsure because the people He believes are unsure.

So Jesus is the original or standard we should base our conduct and attitude upon. I wouldn't base mine on even Mother Theresa and Mahatma Ghandi. Even they would have revealed that they did not lead perfect lies all of  their lives. Jesus however lived a perfect life. 

It also says in Heb. 4:15, "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin."

Pasted from <http://www.carm.org/doctrine/obj_Jesus_sin.htm>

No one else is a good enough original! Jesus should be our role model in life. We should model our behavior and attitudes after His. He was tempted, persecuted, lied on, mistreated, and talked about, but never sinned even against the very people who did Him dirty. He forgave His murderers AS THEY MURDERED HIM!.

JESUS ALONE IS THE ORIGINAL. HE IS THE STANDARD. HE IS THE TRUTH!

I'm reading a new book called "Lies Young Women Believe." It is phenomenal. I would have bought Lies Women Believe, but it talks about married people and grown grown folks, so I felt I could relate to the young women. This book is mainly for teenagers, but a lot of it applies to me as well. This book is great! I haven't finished it yet, but I have read enough to get a great understanding of what it wants to say.

Satan is the father of all lies. Every lie you have every been told or have told originates back to him.

Satan cannot speak truth. Just as the only language many Americans speak is English, the ONLY language he speaks is Lie.

He sometimes adds a bit of truth to his lies to maximize the quantity and quality of damage the lie will cause.

A lie is basically Satan trying to make you second guess or doubt the validity of what God has told you. If God clearly tells you in the Bible that fornication is wrong (which He does), the devil will say, "King Solomon - the wisest man before Jesus - fornicated plenty of times. He had 300 mistresses. Surely God will let someone much less wise fornicate with two people!" This is also known as justification. It's when you KNOW the truth, but the lie sounds, feels, looks, seems so good that you justify your sin.

The weird thing is that we know when something is wrong. We know a lie. I promise we do. But when you want to have sex so bad, you will find an excuse to sin. Do any of these sound familiar?

• We all sin. My fornication is no worse than a preacher's lie.
• It's not like a sleeping with everybody. I mean he IS my boyfriend.
• We're going to get married anyway, so I'm basically doing what we're going to do in the future.
• Adam and Eve didn't have a wedding. It was just an understanding between them and God. No marriage license, no ring, no vows, just like what we're doing.
• I love him/her, so it's okay.

All of those are excuses for sinning. But even if we can successfully "fool" ourselves, God doesn't accept excuses. He sees sin for what it really is. The world is really good at lying to itself, but who cares what we think? God is the judge, and you can't ever fool Him!

The way that the devil basically leads you to sin is by presenting you with tempting bait. But just as fish have to have bait to bite the deathly hook, the devil has a big, shiny deadly hook waiting in that good-looking bait. No fish in his right mind would hop on a shiny hook of death. The devil will not come to you in his red suit with a pitch fork. He knows that you will recognize him. But if he comes in double-breasted suit with a well-groomed face, you're a goner if you aren't careful!

I have two close friends who LOVE THEM A LIGHT-SKINNED MAN WITH GOOD HAIR AND HAZEL/GRAY/GREEN EYES. They have had their hearts broken many a time by a light-skinned man with good hair and hazel/gray/green eyes. The devil knows their flavor. He knows that if he wants to defeat my two close friends, he can just let them encounter a brother by the aforementioned description. That brother can be abusive, possessive, a cheater, etc., etc. Bait is only bait if there's a hook. Fishermen don’t just throw worms on a string on a sinker for fun. Sometimes they throw the fish back out of the goodness of their heart, but the devil has no goodness in his heart. His purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy YOU. And by you, I mean every single individual in this world (including me). I'm not saying every very attractive woman or man is assigned by lucifer to deceive you, but I will say that some people are no good, and the devil knows what kind of woman or man you like.

So I love this quote, "Let temptations past by without reaching for them." I used to be very boy crazy. I could really appreciate an attractive man. I had to learn that I should let them pass me by. Resist the devil, and he will flee. Don't reach for his bait. We're all like fish in a big ocean. The smart fish who have seen their friend and family fish get snatched up will learn to not trust all tempting worms. The naïve and ignorant fish will get hooked. The desperate fish will get hooked. The fish who refuse to learn a lesson will get hooked. But the wary fish who are not ignorant of the fishermen's devices will not get hooked.

God has been good to me, so I can pick up on people's vibes. I can tell a sneaky snake a mile away. Sometimes I would know and just ignore because I wanted a boyfriend, but I was only lying to myself. My last boyfriend would appear to be a nice catch. He was a deacon who had a good job and he was very much a gentleman. But I could tell something was the matter with him. Something about him was weird. Women have good intuition, but I also believe that God wanted me to realize something about him. I'm glad we broke up when we did because I think he was emotionally unavailable, prideful, possessive and even latent homosexual. I knew there was a hint of these things when I first met him, but my desperation told me to ignore it just so I could have a cuddle buddy. He had money, so I stayed around to get my piece of the pie. I knowingly lied to myself because the temptation was more attractive than the truth.

The truth is the truth whether or not you choose to believe it.

Lies are by their very nature deceitful. They won't always be obvious. When the devil spoke to Eve through a snake in the Garden of Eden, he appealed to her senses. The tree was appealing and so was the fruit. Then he told her she would knowledge of good and evil. He didn’t tell her, "Psst! Hey, Eve! How about you obey God and eat this here fruit. Nevermind that you have all this other food from all these other trees. Come eat THIS fruit. It'll make God sad, it'll get you kicked out of paradise, it'll lead to you having labor pains, and you and your hubby will have to till the land until you're sore." We all know that Eve would have said, "NO!" But the devil will make his sneaky tricks look appealing. A fine woman with a nice body is tempting to a man, but he doesn't know if she has HIV. A fine man with charm is tempting to a woman, but she doesn't know if he's crazy enough to kill her because of his extreme jealousy. I'm telling you, I'm warning you, when the devil has a plan to kill you, YOU WON'T KNOW IT BECAUSE IT'LL LOOK SO GOOD.

In order to be wary of the devil's lies, you have to be filled with the TRUTH. Truth refers to something that is in accordance with the standard or original. Many young women believe that truth just means "not a lie." You have to know what truth is. The truth about how we should live in like Jesus. Whatever is not living like Jesus is a lie or is not the truth. If you are living in sin, you are not living in the truth. If you are doing drugs, you are living a lie. If you are fornicating, you are not living in light of the truth. Whatever you are doing that is not in accordance/agreement with the WILL, WORD, and WAY of God is a lie because Jesus Christ is the way and the TRUTH and the life.

• Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." -- John 14:6 (NKJV)

Any divergence from the truth is sin. Don't live in sin. Don't live in the devil's lies. I have no problem sharing my testimony if I believe that it will help someone. The devil used to lie to me a lot in college. When I first fornicated, it was with another virgin. In order to tempt me to do it, the devil would have me justify by saying, "you're both virgins just like Adam and Eve were both virgins. You two don't have a marriage license just as they didn't. You guys are good because all your friends have like 5+ partners, and you two are each others' first. You two are obviously going to get married anyway. It was easier to justify having sex with your virgin boyfriend who you plan on marrying." Of course, sex messed up and ended our relationship because God don't bless sin.

The devil would tempt me to drink with words like, "Jesus made wine at that wedding remember? God made the barley and malt that makes alcohol so He knew what would come of it. You can just confess your sin at church tomorrow. You're so stressed that you deserve to drink it. If it's legal at 21 it should be legal at 18. It's not like you're smoking weed or something."

Then he'd tempt me with marijuana. "God made the cannabis plant. Why would He even make a plant like that with such a medicinal effect if He didn't want people smoking it. It would just be some plain leaves. People with painful, terminal illnesses smoke it to get rid of the pain. Study high, get high grades remember?"

He also lied to me about cursing. "They spoke in a different language back then so how can "b****, s***, f***, and a** be curse words? Even if they did speak English, only a** was a word back then and that is just the word for donkey. How can a word be sinful? Couldn't someone just make up a curse word now just as someone made up s***? B**** is just another word for female dog."

It was so much rationalizing and justifying. The truth requires NO RATIONALIZING AND JUSTIFYING! It just is! I don't have to come up with a million reasons to save the rest of it for marriage. I don't have to come up with a thousand reasons why I should go to church. I don't have to come up with an excuse not to do drugs. Only lies get justified. You do the truth without a second guess. If you have to try so hard to make it LOOK or SOUND right, then it's WRONG.

Get into the Word. It's hard to be deceived by the devil when you know the ten commandments. It's hard for him to pull the wool over your eyes when you saw it in black and red ink in your Bible just the other day. He'll say, "kill dude," and you'll say, "it is written, 'thou shalt not kill'." Fill up your thoughts with so much truth that there is no room for satanic lies. When you allow Christ to fill you with His truth and light, your real eyes will realize real lies.

I'm currently reading this book called "The Secret Things of God." It's the Christian equivalent to Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret." I've read "The Secret," and it has a chapter on Love.  It basically says that you can draw a relationship to you if you think positive thoughts about having a man or woman in your life. However, it did not address your heart condition and its effect on your relationship(s).

Why look for Mr. Right or Ms. Right, if you ain't a Mr. Right or Ms. Right yourself? Truly think about it.

Rationally speaking, if your heart condition contains possessiveness, jealousy, anger, abusiveness, commitment phobia, and problems with intimacy, what does it matter if you found Mr. Right? It would be the same as if your future partner were looking for a Mr. Wrong if they were Ms. Right. Therefore, it doesn't matter if you're waiting or searching for your "The One" if you have problems with ANY and EVERY relationship you're in because your heart has too many issues.

I had a good boyfriend when I was in college. He wasn't very spiritual, but he knew Jesus and God. I eventually crossed him off my list of Marriage Material because he wasn't as super spiritual as I THOUGHT I was. He was emotionally healthy (the most important aspect next to a relationship with God), he was able to be emotionally intimate, he was not abusive, he was not controlling, and he was very loving. But little did I know that even though I was more "spiritual" I had much emotional baggage that was keeping me from loving him as I should. I was very jealous, possessive, demanding, perfectionist, and difficult. I just kept saying to myself, "When I meet The One, I won't have to go through all this mess with trying to change him to go to church more and read the Bible more. My The One will already be perfect." So of course, I waited for the Perfect One who never and will never come. Now I've "settled" on waiting for a emotionally and spiritually healthy one.

I love this quote I picked up by Sidney Poitier. It says, "We suffer from the preoccupation that there exists in the loved one perfection." I used to think that the people I loved were perfect. When they erred, I was so devastated because I thought they could do no wrong. But now I realize that no one is perfect on this earth. True enough, God is perfecting us on earth and in heaven we will be perfect, but right now, we are very imperfect. Not just us, but so are our loved ones. Don't get rid of people because they aren't perfect and do not do whatever you tell them to do when you tell them to do it. Needless to stay, my very love capable ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend who is emotionally healthy (I think). They will be happy together for the time being or until death do them part not because they are both necessarily "The Ones" for each other, but more because they are able to love freely because of their lack of emotional baggage.

For people who "know" that when they meet their The One things will be all pie in the sky-like, answer me this. If you are severely bipolar and you’re The One is severely bipolar, will you two be happily in bliss? My answer is no. You will still have many relationship issues because people who are manic-depressive tend to be miserable alone, so it matters not if they are with another person. They are just miserable at times because of the chemical imbalance in their brain. If two serial killers were each others' The One, it would matter not because the two of them have issues when it comes to respecting other people's lives and emotions. If they will kill several people for fun, do you think they will easily love another because they are soulmates? So more important than meeting The One is BEING The One.

Imagine that you are Ms. Right or Mr. Right. Some dude or chick approaches you saying, "Guess what? We need to get married. You are Mr. Right. I got two round-trip plane tickets to Las Vegas where we can get hitched. Never mind that I'm abusive, paranoid, and have a fear of intimacy. All that matters is that you are Mr. Right." You'd be like, "Are you kidding me? If I'm Mr. Right, I want a Ms. Right! I've worked too hard on my character and my communication skills to waste them on some psycho!" So there. The Mr. and Ms. Rights of the world want Mr. and Ms. Rights too. They won't want Mr. and Ms. Wrongs. I feel as if I am a Ms. Right. I was at one time, Ms. Way Wrong. But God has taken out my heart of stone and has put in a heart of flesh. I have read many books and taken classes in college on communication, relationships, and people that have taught me that the way I dealt with people was way wrong. God showed me how to treat and love people. So now I am emotionally able to love, commit, and be intimate with others. I'm not just talking about for a husband. I was unable to have healthy relationships with myself, friends, and family members because of my emotional instability and poor communcation skills. Your relationships will only be as healthy as you are. I'm sure prostitutes and rapists don't have positive, healthy relationships with themselves -- let alone others.

Even if God gives you the best option of partners, you can unintentionally sabotage all of them if your heart is emotionally unhealthy. I could have had so many great friendships, but I let them slip by because of my issues. There are many men that I can be happily ever after with. I don’t have to have a The One. I do believe that some people do have soulmates though because their love stories are so perfect. Their soulmate had all the same, sometimes lame interests. They met in such strange ways that it had to have been God that set it up for them to meet. But many people can be happy with many other people. And at the same time, many people can be happy with NO ONE. People like Saddam Hussein can be happy with no one because he was evil. But people like Jesus can be happy with anyone because He is so loving and understanding. After all, how important is a soul mate if the world is going to end in however many years? Just be happy with an emotionally healthy and spiritually sound person until then. Of course, you want somebody who is compatible with you  though, but that's a whole 'nother note for another day.

The Bible says do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. It may be referring to just marriages or referring to marriages, friendships, and business partners. When it comes to marriage, it did not say anything about compatibility and whatnot, but it talked about being equally yoked. By that it means you should not engage deeply into relationships with people who do not believe in God and Jesus. Yoking with someone is bonding or tying yourself with someone. The Bible does not have much criteria for picking a marriage partner. In Proverbs, it talks about how bad it is living with a contentious, nagging wife. It talks about the dream wife in Proverbs 31 also. But it did not say that you have to find your soulmate. If you're man, it suggests that you should look for a wife who does not nag,  is virtuous, can cook, can clean, can care for children, and do well by you. The Bible says whoever finds himself a wife findeth a good thing. Don't look or waste time waiting for Ms. Perfect to come strolling by because she'll never come, but do find a wife like the ones described in Proverbs and Song of Solomon, and you will have found yourself a good thing!

Women, the Bible won't tell us much about how to find a man because we should probably be WAITING. If you have three good choices offering you an engagement ring, then choose the one that is most compatible with you and makes you happiest. But of course, God knows best and He knows the unknown, so if you pray to Him, He'll let you know which man will result in the happiest, most successful marriage. My family and I love the movie "Gone With The Wind." I thought Scarlett O'Hara was so lucky that she had so many suitors willing to marry her. She could have had any one of the suitors she wanted, and she did choose more than one. They were probably all great finds, but because of her coveting of Ashley Wilkes, she couldn’t possibly have been happy with either of the three of her ex-husbands. She looked great on the outside and she was very charming, but her heart was not right, so she was unhappy with her husbands.  If the first two were fully aware of how her heart really belonged to Ashley, they would have been unhappy too.

So basically, I wrote and shared this note because it really blessed me to hear that I can be happy with a number of men. Sure I'd be happier with some more than others, but I'd still be happy because I'm just a very happy person. But just because I'm a very optimistic and joyful person doesn't mean that I'd waste my time and energy on an unhappy, abusive, and angry man. ( Remember to never rescue an angry man because you'll have to rescue him again tomorrow.) Find a man or woman who has a personal relationship with God. Then when you have those options listed, choose the men or women who have very little emotional baggage that will inevitably damage the longevity and health of the relationship. Then when you have that list of people, pick the ones that you are most compatible with. Then when you have that list, pick the ones you're happiest with. And if you haven't found him or her yet, ask God to choose for ya!

And remember in all your ways you should acknowledge Him and let Him direct your paths. So throughout the whole "elimination process" acknowledge and listen to God, and He'll let you know whether or not your suitors are even good options. However, you may be one of the few people who have a soul mate, so in that case, you can just wait until he or she appears. But until then, YOU BE THE ONE or make sure you're working on being The One.