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| I hope this doesn't disappoint.
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"Still, when he looked at me with his bright green eyes, white hot something ran through my veins. I'm just not sure it was always anger."
"Be this or be that, pick a side and stand for it. Whether it's right or wrong, it doesn't matter, as long as it's what you believe in. Don't just be in the middle, thinking you can go onto the winning one when it's all done."
"Everyday, they lead different lives in different cities with different people. But the summer sun threads their lives, bringing them together for three sun-kissed months a year. People change, though; they grow up and fall in love. They realize that what they have isn't what they want forever. He did, anyway. No matter what she wanted, the world always has another plan."
"They say young people never look ahead to their futures, but I am; what I see is him. After all, it's hard to imagine the battles that will come, the fight that must come, as good seeks to triumph over evil. It's hard to imagine that the fight continues now, even as we sit here together, time pausing for us under this tree in the warm, sweet air. In fact, it's hard to imagine anything at all, not while the present is so perfect, not while this moment is so full of its own thoughts and sounds and beauty."
"Maybe later I'll be too busy to sit under trees and watch the sky change from blue to gold to lavender to velvety darkness; maybe I won't have time to appreciate the beauty of the bark I'm leaning on, the grass I'm sitting on, the man my head rests on. But heaven forbid I ever forget how I love these things, how I love the intertwining of our hands and the way time has paused while we rest here before our lives take off and we stand to meet the world together. If I live to the day this tree dies I will never forget how we sat beneath it and listened to summer sounds in between soft breaths of wind and our quiet breathing. Sometimes happiness is loud and raucous, but now it's the calm chirp of crickets and the call of a lone owl that speak for me: I am in love and I cannot express how happy I am because of it, because of him."
These acts of immorality are the only things keeping me quiet. Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm only as loyal as my options? I can't believe that you would ever trust me.
Smother your breath with cheap champagne. The stewardess will bring me two of the same. These sort of things project through my microphone, projecting love into your stereo. I won't go unheard or unknown.
Can someone please just shake the lies out of me? It seems that every word I say don't mean a thing. I've tried so hard to reel you closer to freedom. With every cast, I just exhaust all my options. Tonight, tonight we're gonna make all the headlines. It's so damn hard to push my pride to the side.
Take back everything I said, know that I'm never coming home again. I know that it's for the best. Come back when I know I've been washed clean of my emptiness. When these words aren't meaningless.
You guard your laughter just like the president, and your weeks are numbered just like an element. And it's not so much what you say, it's mostly how you're saying it. You make me melt like kerosene on candle wax, in flames and on your porch.
And all your pictures couldn't keep me warm if I burned them. I'm bleeding bloody coughs from the fire in my lungs. I left you in my memories. So if the train comes, lay down on the tracks and forget me and how we used to kiss. I can't stand the person that you've grown to be.
So this is me, testing you. Staring through the colors of the cornea, concentrating until no color remains. Your life, your mind becomes black and white. Show me your imbalance, show me your true self. All thought is a chemical reaction. It's all in your head. It's all in your head.
Empty ocean is all we see, the north star is all we need. This time is probably right for everyone to say their goodbyes. "May day! May day!" she said to me. However it's too late. Captain, oh Captain, we've lost our direction.
"Won't toss and turn tonight, we ride out fast. We'll burn the houses and we'll torch the souls until they get it right. This letter is scarlet because it's addressed to you."
Let's live it up like it's our last cause there's no room for "I wish I had's." It's time to live until tomorrow ends because we don't need rest. We'll sleep when we're dead. Cancel our subscription. We don't, we don't need your issues anymore.
"McMurphy laughs, spreading his laugh out across the water. Because he knows you have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy. He knows there's a painful side, but he won't let the pain blot out the humor no more'n he'll let the humor blot out the pain."
"I woke up this morning, you know... and the sun was shining, and it was nice, and all that type of stuff. And the first thing, I saw you, and, uh, I said, "Boy, this is gonna be one terrific day, so you better live it up, because tomorrow you'll be nothing. You see? And I almost was."
You are new and near now to someone you used to love when you were young; when all was gold and you two touched and felt the flutter underneath your skin. You stood in glowing rooms, the light dripping from both of you, and nothing since has felt as radiant or real.
There are so many words that we can say spoken upon long-distance melody. This is my hello. Maybe in five or ten years you and I will meet again, straighten this whole thing out. Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy, but this is the distance. And this is my game face.
I felt sorry for him already. This was a screwed up place he’d come to. But he didn’t have to know that. Not yet, anyway. There in that room, the world probably still seemed small enough to manage.
“You make it really hard to love you sometimes,” he spat, “You know that?” And I sat there. You would have thought I’d feel brittle. But I didn’t. I felt nothing really, just the sense that now the circle I’d always kept small was even smaller.
Time meant nothing, anything seemed real. You kissed like fire and you made me feel like every word you said was meant to be. It couldn’t been that easy to forget about me.
I had no illusions about love anymore. It came, it went, it left casualties or it didn’t. People weren’t meant to be together forever, regardless of what the songs say.
My mind is set on winter’s end, driving convertibles down highways that never end. Just let me drive away, instead of chasing all these dreams. Don’t bring me down to keep me sane. We can’t go back, to how things were, but if I find a highway long enough, I swear I’m gone.
Woke up and wished that I was dead. With an aching in my head, I lay motionless in bed. I thought of you and where you'd gone, and let the world spin madly on.
So it had been me. Maybe I’d known that all along, and that was why I had run. Because I didn’t show weakness; I didn’t depend on anyone. And if he’d been like the others, and just let me go, I would have been fine. It would have been easy to go on conveniently forgetting as I kept my heart clenched tight, away from where anyone could get to it.
Whenever you made a choice, especially one you’d been resisting, it always affected everything else, some in big ways, like a tremor beneath your feet, others in so tiny a way you hardly noticed a change at all.
I looked at her, and there it was again: that shifting of her eyes that meant she’d seen something in me lately that she didn’t recognize, and it worried her. Because if I wasn’t the cold, hard girl, then she could be the girl she was either.
What did it feel like, I wondered, to love someone that much? So much that you couldn’t even control yourself when they came close. I had to wonder, but he clearly knew: you could see it, feel it coming off him like a heat. I almost envied him that. Almost.
There had only been just a few moments when I worried it might go deep enough to drown me. Like now. And I could pull back, would pull back, before it went to far.
The moment fades and the countdown starts, and time slips through my hands. Counting down for fun, counting down for parties and birthdays, but all I really want is a moment that might last forever.
But this wasn’t true either. I did hate it sometimes, for the lie that it was. It was the ultimate out, admitting he’d only disappoint me. And didn’t that just make him so noble, really? As if he was beating me to the punch, his words living forever, while I was left speechless, no rebuttal, no words left to say.
It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you have wanted to do so badly. You almost feel like you could fly without the plane.
So many times it seemed like there were chances to stop things before they started. Or even stop them in midstream. But it was even worse when you knew at that very moment that there was still time to save yourself, and yet you couldn’t even budge.
I saw your hands reach toward the air while the wind pulled your hair, you were screaming something about how you hated the winter. I lied when I said that I hated this life and I was better off dead, I'm really quite fond of morning's smile and the night sky.
There’s a switch that gets hit, and it all stops making sense. And in the middle of drinks, maybe the fifth or the sixth, I'm completely alone at a table of friends. And I feel nothing, I feel a terrible nothing.
You've lost the love for yourself now. Just know that I'm telling you to watch your back and hold your breath, because denial never spoke so loud.
Here we lay again on two separate beds, riding phone lines, to meet a familiar voice and pictures drawn from memory. We reflect on miscommunication and misunderstandings and missing each other too much to have let go.
I wish I could give you what you're looking for, but i don't know what it is. There’s a part of you that you keep closed off from everyone, including me. It’s as if I'm not the one your really with. Your mind is on someone else.
Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me. It is such a shame that you shot me down, It would have been nice to be around.
You're not the only one who's made mistakes, but they're the only things that you can truly call your own.
She said, "if we're gonna make this work, you gotta let me inside even though it hurts. don't hide the broken parts that i need to see." she said, "like it or not it's the way it's gotta be, you gotta love yourself if you can ever love me."
"What we have here is a dreamer. someone completely out of touch with reality. when she jumped, she probably thought she could fly."
One of the most tragic things you know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. we are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.
The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
It's late and night and no one's around, and only my heart is making a sound. I lay awake in my bed and I can't sleep. Should I call you instead? I think of you far too much, because you, you're one of a kind.
We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
Revolutions are the produce of passion, not of sober and tranquil reason.
I don't think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it.
Do not commit the error, common among the young, of assuming that if you cannot save the whole of mankind, you have failed.
Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway.
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.
There is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels for someone, for someone, pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echos.
You need not to climb mountaintops, You need not to cross the sea, You need not to find a cure for everything that makes you weak.
We'll have a standoff if you want, but I warn you - the truth is strong. You paint yourself such a pretty picture - your words decorate where reality can't. Each of you holds such prestigious positions on the city committee in your fantasy land. We're onto you, we see right through your costumes, we know the truth and what you are.
"City Committee" - Action Design
Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life.
Now I saw the moon divorce the sky tonight, this remedy is worse than the disease and slowly killing me. We like to run our blood thin and laugh at the things we never did.
Don't go changing to try and please me, you never let me down before. Don't imagine you're too familiar and I don't see you anymore. I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble, we never could have come this far. I took the good times, I'll take the bad times, I'll take you just the way you are.
I was the chapstick in your purse to keep you smooth. I was the finger in your throat to keep you cute. My liver hates you for walking out on us, my kidney's drowning in a pool of a long lost love.
And there's only a few things I've wanted to hold onto; one being the color of the sky so blue and every feeling I've ever felt when I was touching you. [ultimate__exposure]
Some people can just move on, you know. They mourn and cry and then they're done with it or at least appear to be. But to me, I don't know. I didn't want to fix it; I didn't want to forget it. It wasn't something that was broken; it was just something that happened. And I'm finding ways, every day, of working around it. I'm respecting and remembering it, but I'm getting along with my life at the same time.
Go with your first thoughts; they're usually your best thoughts. Pay attention, stick to your goals and follow those guidelines. It's all right there if you reach for it, unless you want to punch timeclocks and work for somebody. That's what we liked about America, the land of opportunity. All your dreams can come true.
"As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.” -Sex in the City
Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing away of oneself and an eventual extinction.
I believe that we are here for each other, not against each other. Everything comes from an understanding that you are a gift in my life - whoever you are, whatever our differences.
There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attentioin. Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up.
It's about quarter past eight and I'm waiting on the corner where you said we would meet. Well, it's about three hours later and I'm still standing in the rain. But its alright you forgot, because my hair needed washing anyway. It's alright, I'm completely over it. You must have just forgot it was tonight or maybe your grandma's ill or something, you broke a limb, got done in by a gang of angry muggers or maybe you're just a fucker.
We sing ourselves to sleep, watching the day lie down instead. And we are leaving some things left unsaid and we are breathing deeper instead. We're both pretty sure neither one can tell.
I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.
Lying was much easier than explaining. It was easier to give people the answers they expected. It should have been the truth anyway.
I've been running around for the past year with absolutely no direction. I didn't know what I wanted. All I knew was that you were always there, always in my head, always under my skin.
I love you without knowing how or when or from where. I love straightfowardly, without complexities or pride, so I love you, because I know no other way.
And I wondered what that must be like, to actually get to start again, forget the world you knew before and leave everything behind. Maybe it would even be easy.
It's not always that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad ones. Sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints. Why do we try to define people as simply good or evil? Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live sid eby side in one heart, and that anybody is capable of anything.
Maybe you still love me. Maybe you don't. Either you will or you won't. Maybe you just need some time alone. I'll try to understand that everything has its plan. Either way, I'm going to stay right for you. Maybe the sun will shine today and the clouds will roll away. Maybe I won't be so afraid. I will understand that everything has its plan, either way.
I'm not afraid of dying. Pieces of me are dying all the time.
We met for coffee and a cigarette and talked about how feelings get when we hear a certain song that hits the spot and puts us in a world that's not real anymore.
It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.
Forgiving is saying, I've dealt with the pain you have caused me, I'm letting it go. It will no longer be my problem to deal with. It will not ruin my life or control my life.
And sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere, all of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad, and hurt and once again I become numb to the world.
Oh, lately babe I stay awake thinking this life gets lonely. Well maybe I'm just scared, scared to let you go. I want you to know right from hello, your love just kept me wondering. Well maybe I'm just tired, tired of never knowing. I know I'm not good enough for you.
And I'm trying to believe in things that I don't know. The turning of the world the color of your soul. That love could kill the pain, truth is never vain. It turns strangers into lovers and enemies to brothers. Just say you understand, I never had this planned.
"But more than that, no unloving words were ever spoken, and everything was held up as another small piece of proof that it can be this way, it doesn't have to be that way; if there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and we will furnish it with soft red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweler's felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does."
"I love this spot. It’s like heaven. Right here on Earth. Maybe that’s what heaven is. Maybe we go through life collecting people and places we love, and they become our heaven."
Scary movies and nightmares to follow. I'm such a wreck when you're not around. And this house is haunted, I swear it's true. But why do I care when it's your ghost that's in my room?
"Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?"
"Your hazel green tint eyes watching every move I make. And that feeling of doubt, it's erased. I'll never feel alone again with you by my side. You're the one, and in you I confide. And we have gone through good and bad times. But your unconditional love was always on my mind. You've been there from the start for me. And your loves always been true as can be.I give my heart to you. I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you. And we have gone through good and bad times. But your unconditional love was always on my mind. You've been there from the start for me. And your love's always been true as can be. I give my heart to you. I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you. I give my heart to you.I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you."
I wish that I could follow through, I know that your love is true and deep as the sea. But right now everything you want is wrong, and right now all your dreams are waking up. And right now I wish I could follow you to the shores of freedom, where no one lives.
We're made out of blood and rust looking for someone to trust without a fight. I think that you came too soon. You're the honey and the moon that lights up my night.
I've been next to you for a lifetime. I've been watching you from the start. Always trying to keep yourself put together. Always needing to fall apart.
You're looking for any explanation. Your words only find a meaning in between what's real and what will only ever be your dream.
You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody's crazy.
Pain's not bad, it's good. It teaches you things. I understand that.
Killing yourself is a major commitment, it take sa kind of courage. Most people just lead lives of cowardly desperation. It's kind of half suicide where you just dull yourself with substances.
For me, insanity is super sanity. The normal is psychotic. Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity.
What happens is that your wretched memory remembers the words and forgets what's behind them.
The secret story is the one we'll never know, although we're living it from day to day, thinking we're alive, thinking we've got it all under control and the stuff we overlook doesn't matter.
You cut up a thing that's alive and beautiful to find out how it's alive and why it's beautiful, and before you know it, it's neither of those things and you're standing there with blood on your face and tears in your sight and only the terrible ache of guilt to show for it.
People sometimes say that the way things happen in the movies is unreal, but actually it's the way things happen to you in life that's unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it's like watching television - you don't feel anything.
Song writing is about getting the demon out of me. It's like being possessed. You try to go to sleep, but the song won't let you, so you have to get up and make it into something and then you're allowed to sleep.
I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
And they say we'll never see half as much as they did. It's true that we never saw Vietnam or World War Two. We didn't see our mother's cry when John F. Kennedy died, But we've lived our whole lives being told that we're just not good enough. We've seen anorexia and bulimia because skinny just isn't skinny enough. We saw Columbine and watched the Twin Towers fall. We've seen a lot of greed and even more hate. Our generation fights a different kind of war but we've seen just as much as them.. And maybe even more.
This is to pushing on the splintered walls of the world, trying to break free. This is to 4am phone calls and tears that can't be wiped away by tissues. This is to cancer patient dying in the end, because she wasn't strong enough anymore. This is to red wine and cigarettes on the bathroom floor, to the boy that didn't love her back. This is to valued letters and notes that got lost in the washer, torn into a million little pieces. This is for unwanted help, and most needed attention; to the girls that put up away messages in hopes he'll understand. This is to not only the guys being heartbreakers, but the girls as well. This is to the victims and victimizers; to the people that couldn't help it when they bled. This is to those that had their hearts ripped from their sleeves. This is to believing every lie. This is to being sick to my stomach just thinking about him loving someone else. This is to the pain I hold in every day. This is to the escape I thought I found in him. This is to those who live with a heart that has long since been broken. This is to all the "What if?"s and the wishes that'll never come true. This is to feeling so desperate, but can't help it, because all you want is them back. This is to all the words you never said and to the ones we choke on. This is to holding your breath in that one perfect moment and being terrified that you'll blink and it'll all be gone. This is to when it is all gone and you feel like you have nothing left. This is to realizing that it wasn't your fault. And that they're never coming back. This is to those who never got to say goodbye after saying something harsh before they left. This is to everything you thought once meant something and never did. This is to those who feel better aching than empty. This is to what didn't happen. This is to the tomorrows that are just another thing to get through. This is to how I wish I'd never come that close to loving you. This is to realizing that you are your own (and everyone else's) worst enemy. This is to those who are dying to be alive. This is to knowing a relationship may or may not work out, but taking the leap anyway. This is to sticking your finger down your throat, in hopes that they'll accept you. This is to every tear you've wasted on people who never cared. This is to sitting and waiting for your phone to ring. This is to being ignored and trying to being imperfectly perfect This is to finding him, and holding on tight. This is to the girl behind that smile. This is to those movies and magazines, the ones that make girls stop eating, stop breathing... stop caring. This is to wanting to speak the most honest words you've ever spoken in your life, not knowing whether they should bring you closer to living or dying. This is for all of us who cry with dry eyes. This is for those who fall in love in their dreams, and wake up only to wish to be sleeping again. This is to not knowing, and this is to not wanting to know. This is to True Love never ignited. This is to prose and poetry and those with tender hearts. This is to those who'll never get it... those who wonder where love starts. This is to that one person who you think is the kindest, sweetest, smartest, and most beautiful person ever. This is to that one person who means everything. This is to losing that one person. This is to loving him, but having to say no to him. This is to having him in your arms again, but knowing it won't last. This is to those nights where you just can't sleep because every word they said to you replays, over and over. This is to those days when you just stay at home, because your heart is too weak to take in laughing. This those nights on the sidewalk where the two of you were the two of you again after so many years of changing. This is to him telling your secrets that no one is supposed to know. This is to the girl that puts on his jacket when she's cold. And this is to the guy that catches her smelling in his scent. This is to letting go just as he starts to hold on. This is to beautiful boys who are just beautiful friends. This is to the ones that sit at home, lonely, hoping to find someone just like them. This is to the people who constantly want to bring you down because you were successful and they couldn't come close. This is to the boys that turned our hearts to glass just to shatter them and use the pieces to cut the wounds a little deeper. This is to all the times I wish I had said no. This is to all the times I knew what he was doing and I ignored it. This is to that tingly butterfly feeling you get when they're around. This is to the night when feelings changed. This is to the broken mirror and the blood on your ankle. This is to the very first kiss. This is to eye contact, avoiding it, keeping it, trying to hide it. This is to feeling emotionless, and watching yourself bleed to know you still feel. This is to the girl that never gives up, this is to the boy that lets her give up. This is for teaching yourself how to care, when it's the last thing you want to do. This is to the ones who still care, reciting promises of forever. This is to the fish that killed off all the others in the tank and now just won't die. This is to being so in love that it fucking scares you. This is to the words never spoken. This is to the fragile ones and the ones that never let them bruise. This is to those who attempt perfect, but know they'll never achieve it. This is to those who fight for the weak and hopeless. This is to those who never give up on their dreams - no matter what. This is to the girls who pretend to be super girl, just to hide their pain. This is to the boys that made them hurt. This is for the children who cry themselves to sleep at night, wishing that their parent's loved them. This is to those who survived and have become stronger, better people. This is to those who love that person more then they'll ever know, and have to live everyday wondering if they really care about you too.
Life's a series of pull backs and forths. You want to do one thing, but you're bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.
“It’s not just the same as it was before. Now it’s different, altered. Like when you scrape your knee and you get a scar, but then the scar fades so much no one can see it but you. But you know where it is. Cuz you remember what caused it.”
I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the ending, we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance and in peace that comes from knowing you just can't know it all. You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.
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She is a wave and she's breaking. She's a problem to solve and in the circle
she's making I will always revolve. And on her sight these eyes depend,
invisible and indivisible. That fire you ignited--good, bad and undecided--burns
when I stand beside it. Your light is ultraviolet. Visions so insane, traveling,
raveling through my brain. Cold when I am denied it. Your light is ultraviolet,
ultraviolet. Now is a phase and it's changing, it's rotating us all. Thought
we're safe but we're dangling and it's too far to survive the fall. And this I
know, it will not bend. Invisible and indivisible.
"Life is the ability to feel so happy, you think your insides are going to
explode. It's being so upset or disappointed, you feel as if your stomach just
dropped ten feet out of place. It's running so hard, you can barely breathe.
It's the feeling of panic when you know you've been caught doing something
wrong. It's having that sudden rush before you kiss someone you care about. It's
opening your eyes and feeling them sting because you spent the whole night
crying. It's letting people go because new ones come in, and all the while
realizing that life doesn't have a purpose unless you let it."
"Maybe, we just were meant for each other. Maybe, someone saw how much we hoped our lives would end, so they gave us someone to live for. Maybe, it just wasn't time for us to die yet."
Man and monsters both make mistakes, but for every man who cries and begs for time enough to grieve, you'll find a million more monsters like me who'll lick our wounds and laugh when we leave.
Finally, I have found a place into which I fit perfectly, safely and securely with no doubts, no fears, no sadness, no tears.This place is filled with happiness and laughter, yet it is spacious enough to allow me the freedom to move around, to live my life and to be myself. This wonderful place, which I never believed really existed, I have found finally, in your arms, in your heart, in your love.
Waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me, I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved. While you're taking your time with apologizes, I'm making my plans for revenge.
You have your own life I know, but show up you shouldI’m disappointed, my vision blurs alone on the curb Eight weeks since and it’s still the same “Something just came up, I’m so sorry” and maybe I’ve got needs that you can’t cure but I’m waiting by the phone until I’m sure
Eventually he began to see that light was what he photographed, not objects. The objects merely were the vehicles for reflecting the light. If the light was good, you could always find something to photograph.
make up your mind and i'll make up mine. don't worry about me, i'll be fine. those words that you said to me, why wasn't i listening? i wish i hadn't met you at all, i started thinking. i'll sit back and relax and wait for the morning.
as i sit in this coffee shop, halfway through your note, i had to stop. right near the end, the letter read: maybe when i leave i'll lead a life less empty. maybe we were waiting way too long to end this soap opera story. you'll accept just half of these consequences. maybe then i'll finally say i'm sorry.
see the animal in his cage that you built, are you sure what side you're on? better not look him too closely in the eye. are you sure what side of the glass you are on? see the safety of the life you have built, everything where it belongs. feel the hollowness inside of your heart and it's all right where it belongs.
what if all the world's inside of your head are just creations of your own? your devils and your gods, all the living and the dead, and you're really all alone? you can live in this illusion. you can choose to believe. you keep looking but you can't find the woods while you're hiding in the trees.
Question: Have you ever had a near death experience?
Me: Yeah, I have Grave's Disease. It's a thyroid deffeciency disease. But anyway, before they knew what exactly was wrong with me, the doctors thought I had an untreatable form of cancer. I honestly thought I was on the verge of death.
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Here's the final bullet to put our love to death. Our days are never coming
back. I know it's you. I can forget. Bang, bang. Shoot, shoot. There's a
freight train coming to force your head in check. Our love is never coming
back. I know it's you. I can forget our love forever ending.
You're just a waste of a song. You're a simple regret. I thought I knew who you
were, but watch how fast I forget. You wore your prettiest dress, but there's a
mess in your head. They say old habits die hard. I say they're better off dead,
Because you were bitter and cold, but still you burned me alive. You held the
match to my skin and poured the fuel on the fire. You're not my favorite
mistake. You're just a simple regret. I though I knew who you were, but watch
how fast and watch how well I forget.
Am I wasting my time with these feelings? The pressure's off now so I'm back on
the ground. Too bad, I kind of liked it in the clouds with you because you take
me away from everything and everyone hat's held me back for so long. Heaven for
a few days makes up for all the hell that lifes dealt me even now that it's
gone. It seems she's got your attention now, lucky girl but isn't that the way
it always ends? It seems she's got your attention just like you got mine. I'll
express my feelings, then sit back and watch you walk away. You're beautiful in
every way to me
"You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you that he loves you.
And you feel like you've done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or
swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you're tired.
You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and you're trying not to tell him that you
love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but
he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and
you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something
you don't even have a name for."
"Goodbye's not the word that he wants to hear, your life spent put on hold for
almost two years. You've tried and you've tried and you gave it your all. It's
sad to say cause dreams are too small. And we used to be afraid but we found
our way. And we used to be afraid but we found our way. Hello to a broken world
that has gone on without you. In twenty years you haven't found any evidence of
truth. I don't blame you for questioning why people fall in love. It's all the
things you were taught to run from."
"I've been trying to write this letter for a while now, the kind you said you'd
never received. The kind I've been working on my whole life. I remember being 13
years old, sitting in my room all night, listening to the same song over and
over. I thought that if I could write something beautiful, something honest, I
could make someone love me. I've taken a lot for granted. I've never tried too
hard; always avoided responsibility. I came here because I was running away,
'cause I wanted to be alone. Instead I met you and you weren't taking anything
for granted. I hope you get all the moments you deserve. I hope you go back to
NY and sit in the met in the room with the painting of the Hudson river, and I
hope when you do, you take Lucy with you cause I know she'd love it. I'm sorry
if I've made your life complicated. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of
all that I never got the chance to tell you that, no matter what happens next,
I'll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. And even
though I keep fumbling for the right words, all I really wanted to say was thank
you."
I'm gonna make you bite that pillow. I'm gonna make you grip those sheets. I'm gonna make your body quiver. I'm gonna make you feel fucking complete.
I make mistakes, over and over. That's what I do. I'm not perfect and I dont live to be. I can talk about my passions for hours and listen to yours for just as long. Sometimes I drink so much I can barely walk. I'm a fantastic lover though and an amazing friend. God knows I mean well.
It's the people you hug and never want to let go. The people you haven't seen in years but they haven't changed at all. The people who give you more to you than you give to them. The people who truly understand who you are. The people you cry about. The ones you live for. It's the people in your photographs with genuine light shining through their eyes and smile. The people who take your breath away.
I can't do this anymore. I feel strickened by a severe illness of the body and mind. I have an overwhelming urge to give up and run away. With no goodbyes, no explanations, no justified reason. I just want to get up and run like hell. Until my feet break beneath me and my heart stops beating. Leaving nothing but my name behind. But I won'tbecause that means you've won and I decide who wins, and it sure as hell won't be you. I deserve more.
*credit.
Baby every little piece of the puzzle doesn't always fit perfectly. Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams but honey if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me. if your mother doesn't like the way I treat her baby boy, it's all right, it's all right. if in every wedding picture my daddy looks annoyed it's all right.
I wanted to gather up everything I just said and stuff it back into my mouth but once you've said something you can't unsay it. Your words are out there, aren't they? Buzzing around in the quiet of the room so you can hear them echoing back to you.
It was as if by leaving everyone behind I could also leave behind the parts of myself that I didn't like. The parts that shamed me.
I listened for some defensiveness or arrogance in his voice or some anger that I could rally against. Some justification for my failure to control myself, my failure to understand.
I didn't believe I was in love. Nothing in my life had prepared me for romantic expectations. Love is just a word, my father once said, an overused one at that. He meant to say the word is cheap. It costs nothing to say it. He meant to say that it's only how you treat someone that counts, what you give.
I marveled at how fast old loyalties, ones that took years to build, could be ripped apart and replaced. I knew I had lost him, but I felt desperate to recruit a small piece of his heart back to me. Make him feel a sliver of what he used to feel for me.
I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face, they don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.
Your emotions change faster than your circumstances, so what you say may not be how you feel just a few hours later. Remember, you don't have to justify the shifts of your emotional tides. They are what they are.
You've got to follow your passion. You've got to figure out what it is that you love - who you really are and you have to have the courage to do that. I believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your dreams.
I think everybody needs a place to go when things become too much. A place where the world is the way you want it to be and if you had a choice, it's how you would've created it.
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
What am I afraid of? I'm afraid of not having enough time to right the wrongs I've made, of not having enough time to prove everyone wrong about me. Not having enough time to really live my life like I want to live it and I'm terrified of not having enough time to find the one I love.
We're all lonely for something we don't know we're looking for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around? Like you're missing someone you've never had the pleasure to meet?
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there's always two sides. I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to stop and think. I've learned that you either control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had, and what you've learned from them, than how many birthdays you've celebrated. I've learned that quanity is more important than quality when it comes to friends. I've learned that it isn't enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you just have to learn how to forgive yourself. I've learned that no matter how badly your heart is broken, the world won't stop for you. I've learned that backgrounds and circumstances might have influenced who you are, but we are responsible for the people we become. I've learned that you can't make somebody love you, all you can do is be somebody who can be loved. I've learned that the word 'love' has many meanings, but it loses value when over-used and most importantly, I've learned that no matter how old or wise you think you are, life never stops teaching.
"Some people, they see only death. They fall into an unsurmountable depression, and they don't slip out of it until spring and I'm not talking about moping around. I'm talking about the real day, unable to function depression. Winter grips them. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be sixty or seventy years old, very close to a natural passing and alone, with no wife or child or perhaps with children that have gone on to live their lives. Either way, there you sit. Alone. Watching the cold through the window, really, truly feeling it in your bones."
Here comes the man with concussions in his pocket. Here comes the man with a laser-guided rocket. Here comes the man with a fistful of pills so you can kill with no remorse, with no recourse, dance on your conscience until it's a corpse.
I've found deeper meaning in this game, and I am scared to hell because of it. Fear is another way of saying you realized the deeper secrets of mankind.
Keep believing the things that you tell yourself. Everyone needs something they can tell themselves to hold onto cause after all, all of it's said and done. At times, you find that the truth is the best way out, sometimes telling the truth is the best way out and it's the wrong words that make you prick up your ears.
I will learn to let go what I cannot change. I will learn to forgive what I cannot change. I will learn to let go when I cannot change. I will learn to love when I cannot change. But I will change, I will change. Whatever I, whenever I can.
It's like a thousand paper cuts soaked in vinegar. That's the way it feels when I see him touching her. It's like falling face first into a bed a of broken glass.
It's nine o'clock on a saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in. There's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin. He says, "Son, can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it goes but it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it, sing us a song, you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight."
You're two floors down getting high in the back room. If I flooded out your house, do you think you'd make it out, or would you burn up before the water filled your lungs?
And I am still the worst company that I have ever kept. I just didn't want you to witness my weakness as I wept, and I still define myself by the places that I've been. It seems to me I'm not doing anything new, I'm just not doing what I used to.
Cause it's just a memory. I can't love completely, when you're really with me, I'm indifferent but I try to get my head clear, it's too full of ideas that I haven't thought of yet and time, clocks keep waving their hands, doing all they can to get our attention.
This vacation's useless, these white pills aren't kind. I've given a lot of thought on this thirteen hour drive. I miss the grinded concrete where we sat past eight or nine and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights. I've given a lot of thought to the nights we used to have. The days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast. I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor where I laid and told you but you swore you loved me more. Do you care if I don't know what to say? Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me? Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay, that there's someone out there who feels just like me, there is. Those notes you wrote me, I've kept them all. I've given a lot of thought on how to write you back this fall. With every single letter in every single word, there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl.
I've heard stories through silence and we laugh at the end and declare that today was the best day we livedbut the end of the night draws a calm to the dark where I dream you exist in the places you aren't. I'm cold inside and these pictures can't even explain what's missing in my life.
"And nothing was interesting, nothing. The people were restrictive and careful, all alike and I've got to live with these people for the rest of my life, I thought."
Question: Have you ever been in love?
Me: Yes, once. It was beautiful, and then it was over.
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Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over. You don’t see
me, but I threw you the obvious just to see if there's more behind the eyes
of a fallen angel, the eyes of tragedy. Here I am expecting just a little
bit too much from the wounded, but I see through it all and see you. You
don't see me. You don't see me at all.
I'll bet you never knew, the parade of people that hang their heads and cry for
you, with their eyes on the casket, they're silently saying goodbye to you.
And the face in the crowd that knows he could have saved you. I could save
you.
The city hall in my mind, met last night. Rumors of reelection started to fly.
It's my funeral today, my funeral today I laid it down underneath the sound
it's my principle concern, my principle concern is what you say, but I wanted it
this way. 'Cause I'm throwin' down without a fight, you're more than welcome to
look around.Consult your checklist. Go underground. I'll claim a stake here
inside the frame. But I'm going under another way, I won't return after today.
So I'm at liberty to say what's on my mind and it some I like. You can't watch
me anymore, you can't make me like before. When I was yours, when all I wanted
was the door.
If I don't say this now I will surely break as I'm leaving the one I want to
take. Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait. My heart has started to
separate. There now, steady love, so few come and don't go. Will you, won't
you, be the one I always know. When I'm losing my control, the city spins
around. You're the only one who knows, you slow it down.
Hey, kid, you've got, a lot of potential, but I think its time to move up, so go
on and blow us away with your sound; now you're everything that we've come to
love, you taught us to move, now we'll show it off, just drop us the beat.
Here's to the fast times; the times we felt alive, to all the nights that we
forgot to get back home. Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me
and you, we've got to let this go. Drink up last call before the sunrise sets
the scene of empty bottles, heavy hearts, the memories of broken dreams. We were
so tired yet so alive, wrapped up in lies like sheets of another one night
stand, you know you left the girl with nothing but the sunrise through the
window pane, where tired eyes will close. Stay seventeen, the party scene has
got the best of me and you, we've got to let this go. I know she hopes I choke
on this last drink, drop dead before my influence gets to her head. She said,
"I'll love you forever, or find something better. It's all just the same as when
we sleep together. We wake up with headaches, and trouble remembering what went
wrong." Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me and you, we've
got to let this go.
"My heartbeat accelerates. I am in the here, in the now. I am also in the
future. I am holding her and wanting and knowing and hoping all at once. We are
the ones that take this thing called music and line it up with this thing called
time. We are the ticking, we are the pulsing, we are underneath every part of
this moment. And by making this moment ours, we are rendering it timeless. There
is no audience. There are no instruments. There are only bodies and thoughts and
murmurs and looks. It's the concert rush to end all concert rushes, because this
is what matters. When the hearts races, this is what it’s racing towards."
To you, I'm just the man who let you down, the one who never gave you what you
need, it's true I wasn't always around, back when you were reaching out for me.
I know you think I didn't care. You say I'm just the hurting kind, and I know
you think my heart wasn't there. But I'm begging you to think it through one
more time.
They never tell you truth is subjective. They only
tell you not to lie. They never tell you there's strength in vulnerability. They
only tell you not to cry. But I've been living underground, sleeping on the way
and finding something else to say is like walking on the freeway. They never
tell you, you don't need to be ashamed. They only tell you to deny. So is it
true that only good girls go to heaven? They only sell you what you buy.
If I had one shred of common sense, I would have already left. Don't ask how long I've been waiting here, yeah you can probably guess. Tracing the arc of the hour hand, this clock's incredibly slow. you ask how long i've been waiting here, I think you already know cause I've been hanging out and counting down the time I've been wasting. measuring time by the bottle and I've had more than a few. I'm standing up to get out of here. I'm standing up for myself now and this is long overdue. There ain't no two ways about it. I can't keep letting it go.
I'm in an awful state. It's getting late and I'm full of question. my overactive mind has been wasting all my time. So I've been wandering aimless every night and sleeping everyday but it really doesn't matter anyway, cause the second coming has been cancelled since some time around 1982 when Jesus looked down from his cloud and saw school kids. They were duck and covering. There's nothing gonna happen out there. So let's stay in. Just come on over and let me in. Outside my windows the sun could be shining but in my head it's all rain, rain and sirens. We'll have our own Hollywood scandal show. You wire me up. I'll be ready to go. I'll do anything. I'll assassinate all the stars of all of your bad dreams. I'll be all yours just as long as you stay here with me cause I don't wanna be alone when these walls start closing in.
And you think I'm an asshole now. well, you're probably right, but at least I'm not blind to the facts I've been wishing were lies, but still I hope you get everything that you care to possess.
"When someone is gone from your life for a really long time, you start to forget stuff about them like, you forget what their voice sounded like, how they loved you so much and how every time things went rough, they took two steps closer."
Took some time to think my whole life through, because nine
to five's not cutting it and I've got more important things to do then sit
around like apples slowly rotting to their cores, and I won't take it because I
know that I'm here for so much more. Remind me of all I am and all I have to
give, deny me the right to lead a life that's meaningless. 
You're way too good for me, cause I'm cursed with years of failure, and I know I'm bound to bring you down. I guess it's plain to see, I'm cursed with shredded genes and shoes too big for my feet. You'll forget the boy you left behind, and forget you ever made him cry. You won't care you lost your biggest fan.
Words seem to roll right off your tongue. You articulate in perfect sentences and make a masterpiece of ending my life. So clever with your let downs as you fill the air with lies, so I'll sit alone and wonder what is really going on beyond your eyes. I'll circle your house for days and hope that you come to meet me. So many foot impressions form a moat, and you'll see how deep my feelings are for you, and you still won't care.
There's a voice in my head telling me why I should hate you, but I hate myself instead. There's a pair of dead eyes in the mirror looking back at me. I guess it's wrong to live life so lifelessly. Scars are tearing open along my palms and knees. I guess that's what I should get for crawling back at your feet. And now I'm feeling so down, that there's no God above. No mercy for a soul that's just way too fucked up.
There's a pain in my chest growing stronger with every heartbeat. Now there's nothing left of me, but empty bottles of pills and Bacardi. Yes, I guess it's wrong to live right.
It seems that you're keeping me down and it just seems pointless to work this thing out and what's holding me back? A lifelong friendship's not worth it I'll hide this one deep underground. Convenience can comfort you now, but the words that you said you can never take back and I'm warning you now; when you realize you made a mistake, I'll be sure to kick you while you're down.
Question: Have you lost a close touch with a close friend recently?
Me: Yeah, I have. Two actually. Don't you hate it when your two best friends fall in love and you're demoted to the person they gush about their love life to? Yeah, that's me. I could go on and on, but all it does is piss me off.
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"It says there were two different trees, the Tree of Life and the Tree of
Knowledge; but I believe there was only the one and that the Fruit of Life and
the Fruit of Good and Evil were the same. And if you ate of it you would die,
but if you didn't eat of it you would die also; although if you did eat of it,
you would be less bone-ignorant by the time you got around to your death...Such
an arrangement would appear to me more the way life is."
-Margaret
Atwood, Alias Grace
"Look, I don't want to wax philosophic but I will say that if you're alive, you
got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a
lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of deat |
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