I_Wish_I_was_special_too's Xanga

Sunday, May 02, 2004

Sun, 02 May 2004 00:07:28 GMT

go to mai new site! i was sooo bored! i will prolly still use this one tho!

www.xanga.com/banana_cream_pye_iz_yummy

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Sat, 01 May 2004 20:06:00 GMT

becoming scars,
my cuts are deep.
bottle opened,
the pain released.
i'm unable to hide,
the rage i feel,
the pain escaping,
becoming real.
while cuts heal over,
and pain fades away,
my cuts leave scars,
and memories stay.
in my mind,
i see the pain.
make the cut,
renew the stain.
my scars seal up,
my memories.
on my body,
for all to see.

i actually wrote that poem, is it any good? if it's not i do not care. it means something to me.

mucho amor -me

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Sat, 01 May 2004 04:28:54 GMT

My name is Misty,

I am but three.

My eyes are swollen,

I cannot see.

I must be stupid,

I must be bad.

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,

I wish I weren’t ugly…

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t speak at all,

I can’t do a wrong,

Or else I’m locked up

All the day long.

When I awake,

I am all alone,

The house is dark.

My folks aren’t home.

When mommy does come,

I’ll try and be nice,

So maybe I’ll get

Just one whipping tonight.

Don’t make a sound!

I just heard a car,

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s Bar.

I hear him curse,

My name he calls.

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes,

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry.

He finds me weeping.

He shouts ugly words.

He says it’s my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more.

I finally get free

And run for the door.

He’s already locked it,

And I start to bawl.

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

“I’m sorry!” I scream,

But it’s now much too late.

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again.

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless,

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Misty,

And I am but three.

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Wed, 28 Apr 2004 00:53:11 GMT

hey everyonee! just ta let ya no i got majorly grounded n i won't be on for ever so ill update wen im off grounding....love ya all...!

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 14:43:47 GMT

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a ****?

hehe

boom boom boom, i want you in my room!

haha

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 14:20:46 GMT

Hey, im off grounding. Being grounded has made me have too much energy, and less writting power. That pisses me off. Well today is my birthday. yay me. i guess. I got some cool stuff from the ones who love me and remembered me. Which is a total of....6 people? ok, thats great. those 6 are...
1.dad
2.mom
3. step-dad
4.aunty and uncle
5.My boyfriend
6. Kayte

wow. thats a shit load of people! and its not that i think they love me cause they gave me presents, they are the only ones who said happy birthday. Thats all that matters to me. no presents needed. but what the hell.

Well i am thinking i need to change my music. Its 'korn-freak on a leash' right now, so if its something different while you r reading this, that means i changed it.. ok well i am off to go music hunting and to take advantage of my new fone privalages. love you all very much!

xoxo-me

Friday, April 23, 2004

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 19:53:10 GMT

hey everyone. i'm like grounded. but i get off tomorrow. so ill talk to u then. bye bye.

-love me

Friday, April 16, 2004

Fri, 16 Apr 2004 00:02:02 GMT

I write, I release, I let things free// And still this pain lives within me// I cry, and laugh, and scream, and sing// My pen is not the only thing that bleeds// As words and blood flow free from me// My pen is not the only thing that bleeds

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 22:42:45 GMT

wow. Today i cried for the first time, in a while. I haven't felt the need to cry, it felt as if i forgot about tears. When i cried, it felt like i never had done it before. And now i can't seem to stop. The tears just keep streaming down my cheeks. To much stuff happening to me. I haven't told anyone either. I can't build up the courage to let anyone know. I think i need to climb back into my shell again now. Bye

-me

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 22:31:47 GMT

You take untill there is nothing else to give.
You taunt until i go insane.
You get joy out of watching me suffer.
Your entertained by the torture you bring.
You find happiness through my pain.