Hey guys this will be my last entry. I have decided that I will not dwell upon this anylonger. I will move on. For, I know that he will never love me the way I love him, because he loves her. I used to wish that he would look at me the way he looks at her. Or that he would wrap his arms around me like he does her. I used to dream of being her just to be close to him. So... I am giving up on the pro-longed dream of him loving me. I am sick of everything else giving up on me so now it's my turn. Some  people might say I'm stupid for giving up on love, but love has given up on me way to many times.  So here I am telling you all that love sucks. I am so sick of people saying that love is perfect or love is all sunshine and being happy-go-lucky. Well fuck them!!! They are dead wrong. I have to admit that love at times can be great, sure, but what do you do when the butterflies go away and you start to get board? Think on this. That is all I ask of you!!!

Oh my gosh.... I just got dropped off by Nolan. We played volleyball at the church for like an hour with Matt and then we went to Millenium. It was so fun. We started off going in the water an it was somewhat warm. Then he started chasing me around and he tried to push me under water so I just dunked myself before he could. He gets cold easy so we got out and started to play volleyball there. I actually got it over the net more than he did. It was fun until we started getting paranoid of the seagulls. We kept thinking they were gonna attack us and they had a big master plan. So we went back in the water and attempted to play water volleyball.  I of chorse sucked so we just started to swim again. He again started to chase me and it was all fun and games until it got cold then we decided to leave and that is how I got here.  I like him so much but I can't wait until his girlfriend gets home because I hate having this sick hope of him leaving her for me. It get so hard I can hardly bare it. When she returns life as I know it will go back to the way it was and I will be stuck with no one to love, to hold, to talk to. All I will have is my friends and sometimes that just isn't enough. I'm sick of sitting in bed dreaming of the perfect guy for me and all the guys I see wouldn't like me in a thousand years. So I start to try and make myself more appealing to them. I try to change myself, for them. When they themself never noticed me before I changed the way I looked, the way I talked, or who I hung out with. I have come to the conclusion that no matter how much you like them, how much you have in common, or how much you change you will never be the person they want. For if you were, they would have noticed you before you changed. So, this will be my last statement about the men in my life, be them friends, boyfriends, or just guys I know. I will no longer change myself to what they want me to be. It is funny that I write this now, because I never had to change anything when I started liking Nolan, maybe that is why I like him so much!

~Kate

Hey sorry I haven't been wirtting lately, I have been really busy with VBS. It is really fun cause we get to boss these little ompa loopmpas around. I got to go to the beach with the teens from our church and Grace Baptist in Saginaw Michigan. Nolan came along and we had alot of fun. We played Vollyball, we swang together, we buried each other, and he fed me cheesy crackers. I loved every minute of it too. I wish I would have hung out more with Katie and Krista though. I hope they know I didn't mean to ditch them for him. Because no one could ever replace them and I love them so much.... they are like sisters to me.

PS I didn't get burnt but Nolans whole back is burt so bad. LOL... I mean that is sooo not funny!