Tech
Support
Tech
support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white
one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my
diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer:
Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll
make a note.
Customer: No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech
support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech
support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't
print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me
and.....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates, dammit!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the
printer and held it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in
red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer:
Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now,
ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for
me.
==============
Customer: My keyboard is not working
anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the
computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:
Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support:
Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means
the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes,
there's another one here. Ah...that one does
work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter
a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is
that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech
support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure.
I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password
was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you
use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus
program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet
Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has
placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer:
I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the
problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?
===============
A
woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No,
my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working
fine."
===============
And
last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control
and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of
the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program
Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard,
Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard,
Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO
THAT!
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