I just found out that a friend of mine from high school died in a car accident on thursday night.  I say he was my friend, but really we maybe spent a total of 48 hours together. total.  yet his death is still sharp and made me cry.  he inspired more than one poem from me (which really isn't unusual, as i always fall for the straight guys) so i decided to dig one out and type it on here.  i wrote this when i was 16 after the party where i met him for the first time.

D.H.

it's like an old movie,
     a little foggy and full of mystery
it's like a 200 piece symphony
     rehearsing for the first time.
it's like that twirling you feel
     right before you fall asleep.
it's like fire in rain
     smoke in wind
     warmth in winter.
it's like a blast from a
     200 degree furnace.
it's like the moon at night,
     (a light in the forest)
it's like irony and envy
     in a tangible form
     sleeping silently among words.
it's like short hair with gel
     and children's stories.
it's like the first kiss
     and the second refusal
it's like small winks in coffee shops
     and secret smiles in empty bedrooms.
it's like my father's knee
     and my mother's stomach.
it's like strawberry daquiris
     on the 4th of July
it's like orange juice and mushrooms
     and corned beef.
it's like driving fast
     or driving slow
it's like dinner when you're hungry
     juice when you're thirsty
     and a coat when you're sweating.
it's like cinnamon apple candles
     that remind you of Christmases
     you've never had.
it's like pregnancy.
it's like de ja vu.
it's like silence in a crowd
     a fire drill when it's raining
     a Spaniard in Spain.
it's like a chip on your shoulder.
it's like straight men kissing,
     or the first time you hold hands.
it's like pillars and busts
it's like a cyst on a nun's ovaries
     or action and reaction.
it's like the William Tell Overture played backwards
it's like stars
it's like a spark.
it's like being hit in the head with a brick.
it's like skinny dipping
     and stupid promises.
it's like you and me and
it's like nothing I know
     and everything I'd like to.

rest well Daniel. goodbye.

i thank you God for most this amazing day

i thank you God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and the blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake
now the eyes of my eyes are opened.)

i will wade out

i will wade out
                            till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
i will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                         Alive
                                                   with closed eyes
to dash against the darkness
                                         in the sleeping curves of my body
shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                             Will i complete the mystery
                                              of my flesh
I will rise
              After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
              And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

-e.e. cummings

Dear Papa,

Do you remember when we would fight and you would get so mad at me because I wouldn't yell back? And how when i came out as bisexual you referred to me as AC/DC? Now you've given me an open invitation to bring my future boyfriend to Christmas.

I think I remember a lot of lies. But then again, I inherited the deceit gene from you, so I never know what's true and what's not. Once you told me that you kept a journal about all the bad things my mother did and said to you. I didn't believe you. There were some days when I said bad things about you. I don't take them back.

I remember how you always believed in me.

I hated Dibble, you knew that. Sometimes I wonder if you didn't marry my step-mom just to get us out of there. She's the best thing that happened to either of us. Both of you making me sit at the table and eat like a family should. Both of you strict and unfair. Both of you unbelievably loyal.

Now you're moving. I didn't think this would actually affect me. I didn't realize how emotional I would get. Today, after we talked, I started to cry. Right there as I was counting pills at work. This will be the first time we'll ever be really apart.

Even though I never visited as much as you liked, we'd always lived in the same town. No longer will you come by my work to give me coffee or a random frozen entree. I can't call you now to borrow the weedeater, or stop by the house while your not home to rummage for food or do laundry. My home will no longer be my home.

I'm crying now too. But I love you. Be happy there, okay? I'll see you plenty, even if it's not as much as you like. Even if it's not as much as I like.

Always your son,

Daniel

Adam and Eve's Dog

Not many people know it but Adam and Eve had a dog.
Its name was Kelev Reeshon, which means, first dog.
Some scholars say it had green fur and ate only plants
and grasses, and that is why some dogs still like to eat grass.
Other say it was hairless like the Chihuahua. Some
say it was male, some female, or that it was androgynous
like the angels or the present-day hyena. Rabbi Peretz,
a medieval cabalist in Barcelona, thought it was a black
dog and that it could see the angels which were everwhere
in the garden, although Adam and Eve could not see them.
He writes in his book of mystical dream meditations,
The Sefer Halom, that Kelev tried to help Adam and Eve
see the angels by pointing at them with its nose, aligning
its tail in a straight line with its back and raising one paw.
But Adam and Eve thought Kelev was pointing at the birds.
All scholars agree that it had a white tip on its tail,
and that it was a small dog.  Sometimes you see
paintings of Eve standing next to a tree holding an apple.
the misinterpretation of this iconography gave birth
to the legend of the forbidden fruit and the fall from grace.
Actually, it was not an apple, but Kelev's ball and Eve
was about to throw it.  One day, although there were no
days or nights as we know them, she threw the ball
right out of the garden.  Kelev ran after it and did not return.
Adam and Eve missed their dog, but were afraid to leave
the garden.  It was misty and dark outside the garden.
They could hear Kelev barking, always farther
and farther away, its bark echoing as if there were two dogs barking.
Finally, they could stand it no longer, and they gathered
Kelev's bed of large leaves and exited the garden.
They were holding the leaves in front of their bodies.
Although they could not see it, an angel followed,
trying to light up the way with a flaming sword.
And the earth was without form outside the garden.
Everything was gray and without shape or outline
because nothing outside the garden had a name. Slowly,
they advanced toward the sound of the barking,
holding each other, holding their dog's bed against their bodies.
Eventually they made out something small and white,
swinging from side to side; it seemed to be leading them
through the mist into a world that was becoming more visible.
Now there were trees, and beneath their feet, there was a path.

-Richard Garcia

Moscow

For a while I was alone,
so I dated whoever's work I was reading,
but the relationships always ended badly.
I wasn't smart enough for Wayne,
I wasn't caustic enough for David,
Kevin & I were doing well,
but then I met his real boyfriend,
and it turns out I'm not his type.
Sometimes I just broke it off.
Jean got to be too depressing.
Fyoder was a bad provider.
After Franz, I started dating myself,
and that was nice. Of course, then I met you
and I had to stop being the man in my life.
I miss me sometimes, but we'll always have Moscow.

-Jason Schneiderman

Black Cat Blues

I showed up for jury duty-
turns out the one on trial was me.

Paid me for my time & still
I couldn't make bail.

Judge that showed up
was my ex-wife.

Now that was some
hard time.

She sentenced me
to remarry.

I chose firing squad instead.
Wouldn't you know it-

Plenty of volunteers
to take the first shot

But no one wanted to spring
for the bullets.

Governor commuted my sentence to life
in a cell more comfortable

Than this here skin
I been living in.

-Kevin Young