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| I've figured out that it's not a phase; more like a pattern.                                
Well, this is just getting sickening. I am obsessed. I don't want to be
and frankly, I hate admitting it. But I am I am I am and I know it.
There is no getting away from it at this point. I want you. And the
hopeless thing about it is I know you know. I can tell in the way you
talk to me and use me. But you don't want me. So you'll take the
compliment, but refuse to see me as anything other than less then you.
I am not your equal and it kills me.
And I'm trying to get over it. I'm trying really hard to ween myself
off of you. To get used to not having you around, to get used to not
having you in my life. But it's hard. And I've done this before, it's
not an extensive process. So, I'm asking you this one, teeny tiny
little favor in the hopes that you will at least see it my way this
once. Please, pretty freaking please with all the candy and sugar on
top, could you just do something wrong. Something dumb. Something
unlovable and something disgusting. Something to make me hate the
living fuck out of you. Something that will make it easier for me. You
see, if I could only see you in a different light, then this whole
obsession would be so quick to burn out. I could easily put you out of
my life if I knew, let's say, that you killed a cat. Or maybe you
masturbate in public. Hell, I'd even be okay with you not taking your
grandmother out for Sunday brunch.
But what I need is to be over you. College is important; at least
that's what everyone says. And I need a focused head. You, my dear,
keep me from having that. You keep me obsessed.
And I want you. But even more than that, I want you gone.
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