I drove down to where those homes were destroyed yesterday less than a mile from my own home. It feels really different when you see something tragic in person compared to what they show you on tv. I can't describe what I felt when I looked at the wreckage and debris everywhere.

I saw two men sitting together on the porch of one of the homes that was just mangled beyond recognition. It looked like a giant pile of wood... that was it. Wood and wallpaper. It got me thinking... all of that family's memories inside that house are now gone. Washed away. Or blown away so to say. And it saddens me beyond belief. I kept thinking... "If it had shifted a mile north, my home could have been gone as well along with all of my dearest memories." I sat there for a moment, wishing that there was something that I could do to help. But there wasn't. The only thing I could do is hope and pray that they can manage to rebuild their lives. Because in the end that's all we can do. Just try and rebuild our lives, shape our future so that we can somehow manage to survive and in the end say "I did it." That gives me hope. I guess I haven't lost hope for the future yet. Just questioned it. And I questioned myself a lot. It's sad how it takes something tragic to wake ourselves up.

I realized a lot in that 10 minute drive... and it made me reevaluate how I've been living life and treating others around me. I think I've finally awoken from my deep slumber. Here I come world. And best of luck to those rebuilding their lives.

Boo work and other dumb things like people. Boo!

That is all.

Currently Listening Every Man for Himself By Hoobastank see related

More Than A Memory

Please someone tell me how to NOT fuck up relationships. That's all I ever seem to do. I screw up everything. And I am so disappointed in myself. No matter how much I apologize I don't think anything will ever be the same again. Here's my song of the day.

Hoobastank
"More Than A Memory"

I've become tired / Of Wasting my time / Thinkin' bout choices / That I've made / Cuz I can't move forward / While looking behind / The only thing I can / Thing to do now is change the way / That I use to be / Cuz now it's seems / Crystal clear to me

Cuz you're so much more / Than a memory / Cuz you're so much more / Than a memory

It wasn't fair / For me just to go / Act like I knew what you've been though / Cuz I wasn't there / And I'll never know / Couldn't see from / Your point of view / But I'm doing all I can / For you to see / That I understand / That I understand

Cuz you're so much more / Than a memory / Cuz you're so much more / Than a memory / So don't close the door / On what still can be / Cuz you're so much more / Than a memory

Please don't Go / Cuz I've finally Know / That the past is gone / And I was wrong / And I was wrong

You're so much more / Than a memory / Cuz you're so much more / Than a memory / So don't close the door / On still what can be / Cuz you're so much more / Than a memory

Please don't go / Cuz I've finally know / That the past is gone / And I was wrong

Please don't go / Cuz I've finally know / That the past is gone / And I knew I was wrong / And I was wrong

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I want to feel this and have someone feel this way about me.