Road Trip

Job Searching

Hello All!!!!

Apparently I am making this a once a month type of thing.  Oh well, that is okay, I don't really think to many people read this anyway.   So now I have to try and figure out where I want to go if anywhere.  The whole job search thing is not fun.    I am a horrible decision maker.  I have no idea where I want to go.  Or if I want to go anywhere.  I just don't know.  I just wish I knew, like some little birdie would come tell me.  I hate making decisions.  This is one of the first major ones I have had to make.  Up to now, everything was basically planned for me.  I knew where I was going to (high) school because there was only one in my town.  Then there was college, I knew where I didn't want to go and the rest fell into place when I got my scholarship.  Then major, I had wanted that since I was a kid.  Then student teaching, there came my first major decision and I struggled.  Again I had the childhood dream which I followed to some extent, but I had to decide where.  That was hard.  This is much hard because it is a my future, and a much longer time than student teaching.  It is like everything has been planned and set out for me until now.  Then when I have to decide I don't know what to do and I struggle.  So I'm dragging my feet, which isn't good because I'm becoming unmotivated because I don't have a set in stone "due date" and I don't do well with that.  I need to get on the ball with this if I want to have a job.  Maybe I am waiting for the perfect job and forgetting that I will have to apply for several probably before I find a job, and that job may not even be my perfect job.  I know I have to do the work and the background stuff/research stuff, but I have never had to do that before for a decision because everything has been planned and I don't know how to deal with it.  Plus, I am kind of homesick, probably partly because there is nothing to do in this town, and miss my family, friends, and hanging out with people.  So I am somewhat considering the possibly of going back home, at least a little big close to home, where there are people I know.  But then did I give up on a dream and settle and take the easy way out?  Where is the line between giving up and taking the easy way out and being close to people and not being stubborn and stuck in my ways.  But then what about being happy and being around people.  But then I could have put down roots here to and I haven't, maybe because I don't what to settle down yet.  And I said goodbye to people and that was hard and I don't want to do it again.  I but then if I don't try to meet people then I will probably always be bored and homesick and wanting to go home to be around people I know.  It is like this big circle and I don't know how to deal with.  One of worse things is that if I don't get on this quickly and figure it out there will be no jobs!  Yikes and that is just bad.  So I just don't know and I have figure it out soon. 

Okay this is really long but I just to vent and write how I was feeling. 

Currently Reading Conviction: A Novel By Richard North Patterson see related

What to do about nothing

I'm subbing now, which is great.  I have had a sub job everyday since I have been able to.  I really hope that keeps up.  The nice about subbing is that once I leave I'm done.    That is nice to come home and not have to worry about anything at all.  That also has a down side.  I never thought I would say it, but I'm getting bored.  I don't really have anything to do at home.  Only 3 TV stations is not a lot.  I can't really afford to go out and do anything.  It's like I come home and go now what.  I just I have just been going some much, for so long, I don't know how to deal with having nothing to do.  After student teaching and college, given my mind set it just seems weird to have nothing that really needs to be done or nothing to really do.  I so use to going, going, going, you have to do this then this then this, and there was always something.  Now it is like I can't deal with it.  I feel bad that I'm doing nothing.  I am also not one to do a whole lot by myself kind of.  Sometimes I don't mind, but something like this when I spend most of the time when I'm not subbing alone, it like I want to do something with somebody.   It would probably help if I new some more people here.  Most of the people I know are either way older or in college and busy with that aspect of life, which I totally understand.  I probably doesn't help that their isn't much to do in this town.  I feel like I have no life.  It's kind of hard to explain what I'm feeling, oh well.   I know several people reading this will probably go, I don't get what her problem is I would love to have nothing do to.  That is part of my problem I feel bad for feeling this way.  Like I said it is hard to explain.  I just had to vent.  It might make sense if you know me.  Anyway this has been good venting and kept me occupied for about a half hour!     

P.S.  Any suggestions or ideas would be great! 

Currently Listening Restored By Jeremy Camp This Man (Really KLOVE) see related

Long Time no write. . . .

It has been forever since I have written anything!  So much as happened too.  I went home, back to IA from Christmas.  That was tons of fun.  I was so glad to be home.  It was nice to see my family again.  It was hard to come back.  I was also able to hang out with Melissa and Phil that was great fun!  It was so great to see her again.  I went and saw Kristin's new house in MN, that was fun.  Her house is really nice.  And I got so see Alyssa too!  It was wonderful to be able to spend some time with her.  I hope student teaching is going well.  You will have to give me an update!  I saw Amanda's classroom, it is so cool.  She has done a lot since the beginning of August when it was storage room.  I was able to hang out with her a lot which was fun.  I got to eat at Texas Roadhouse, great food!  I had a wonderful Christmas.  I hope everyone else did too.  It went by way to fast.  It seems like I was hardly home!  My parents were glad to have me home.  I got some good home cookin' too.   

I came home and was met by cousin.  We went skiing for 3 days that was tons of fun!  I love skiing.  I'm not very good at it, but oh well.  We had fun anyway.  I have a huge bruise on my leg from it.  I'm not sure how I did that but oh well. It was well worth it.    Ski in Idaho is nothing like skiing in Iowa.  It doesn't even compare.    2200 ft drops and 6000-8000+ elevations, where you ears pop on the ski lift.  Fresh powder, it was wonderful.   My cousin told me that Iowa skiing has forever been ruined.  He doesn't want to go back and ski in Iowa anymore.    What can I say once you ski Idaho, you will never go back to Iowa "mountains". 

I'm subbing now and looking for part-time night and weekend jobs.  Hopefully I will find something.  I am also going to be looking for full-time teaching jobs.  I'm praying that God will show me where he wants me to be. 

That strangest thing happened to me on Thursday night.  I got home from subbing and had nothing I had to do.  It was such a strange feeling because for so long there has also been a paper to write, lesson plan to do, TWS to work on, or some other deadline.  It was so weird.  I didn't know what to do.  I had stuff to do but none of need to be done.  So I went to bed early.  Way early, 8:30, for those that know me that is incredibly early for me.  It was such a weird feeling.  Anyway on that note, this has probably gotten way to long so I'm going to say goodbye for now!  Hopefully I will update more often. 

Currently Listening Lifesong By Casting Crowns Lifesong (really KLOVE) see related

Two Weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it.  In two weeks from today, I will be back in the midwest!!!!!  I'm so excited.  I'm also so ready to be done with all the work.  I'm ready to just have some time off and not have to worry about anything.  To just be able to hang out with family and friends will be great.  I'm way excited.  I hope these next two weeks go by fast.  They probably will, because I have so much to do!  I have to do the last of my homework, prepare for a mock interview and possibility of a few real ones, and clean my apartment.  It is a pit, and I'm not kidding! 

It snowed last weekend!!!!! It was so pretty.  14 inches.  I made a snowman and snow angels.  It was so fun.  However, it has warmed up so a lot of it has melted which is sad.    I feel like I'm back in IA were the snow comes and goes.  Oh well, at least we got some.    I know this is short, but I gotta get back to work.  Goodnight everyone!  Happy Holidays!